by Guest » Mon Feb 15, 2010 12:29 pm
All the fucking time. I'm a pretty generous person so I'm totally cool with picking up the tab if it's a girl that I enjoy. But, even then, it becomes expected. The worst, for me, is when they say something like "I want to go out tonight." And, I'm thinking to myself, you mean you want to go out on my dime. Or when they ask if you want to go to dinner, again they're basically saying I want you to take me to dinner, I'll run up your tab, and in exchange you'll get my company and my pussy. Yeah, not a fair trade on most occasions.
I can't tell you how many girls I dated that complained that their ex's never took them anywhere, they never went out, and how nice it is to be with someone that takes them places. I'm over here thinking to myself, well they never took you out because they didn't have any fucking money to pay for your stupid ass.
My biggest issue is that I make more money than every girl I've ever dated. I've had a few make close to what I've made, but never more. I suspect that this will only be a bigger problem as I age and continue to date women that are 25 - 35.
I've found that having the means to wine and dine a woman is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, women want a man that makes some nice scratch on the other hand if they know you make good cash then they expect for you to spend that money on them. What I've done is to try to live a life where it's hard to tell how much money I actually make.
For example, when I first meet a girl, I don't tell them that I have an MBA, what I do for a living, what kind of car I drive, where I live, none of that shit. I don't tell them, but I still know that I still project that I do well for myself so I'm sure they pick up on it. The issue with this is that there are certain parts of the city where you have absolutely no choice but to tell these girls about your financial status because they will not be with a guy that doesn't make good scratch...uh umm, Uptown. This is why I have such a problem with Uptown. It's always the same three questions out of the mouth of these stupid little whores: where do you work/what do you do, where do you live, and where did you go to school? All three of those questions give very important information regarding how well you do for yourself.
Over the years, I've tried to tone down my income level. My clothes tend to be nice, but not so nice that they can tell I have money to spend. The place I live is nice, but not so nice that it's a tip off of my income. I've even thought of getting a second car that's a few years old, that's nice and clean but not super nice.
I've had to create artificial constructs in my dating life to deal with the the possibility that a girl will just suck your shit dry.
First, I never take them to dinner until at least the 3rd or 4th date. It's always a let's meet for drinks at 9, come over to my place at 9, or I'll be at your place at 9. They're grown adults, they can feed themselves.
Second, I try to drink at home as much as possible. Booze can get pricey, fast. So, I always try to get them a little drunk before we ever even leave the house. And, when we go drinking, I take them to places where a drink doesn't cost $10.
Third, I never take them to dinner unless we've fucked. The interesting thing is that a lot of girls won't put out until you feed them, so you end up with this weird little dance where the girl wants to be 'taken out on a proper date.' It's interesting, but on many occasions I would be seeing a chick and finally breakdown and take her to dinner...100% of the time, that night is when we fuck. Seriously, it's like it's hard wired in some girls brain to think that they need to bed fed before they fuck you. So, this rule does cost me pussy, but it also filters out the ones that have expectations for what you do with YOUR fucking money.
Fourth, if they ask me to go out with them, then I'm going to tell them upfront that since she asked me out she's going to pay otherwise I'm not going. Like Lion said, don't make it a big deal because it isn't.
Finally, I understand that I'm going to pick up 70% of the tabs. That's just how things always tend to shake out. I'm Ok with this if I like the girl and she's appreciative and rewards me with crazy sex acts. As men, we're always going to pick up the vast majority of the tabs. It does make sense though, women spend a shit ton of cash on making themselves attractive for us (which we want) and women tend to make less money then men. Given those facts, it's never going to be 50/50...unless of course you're dating a chicka that makes a lot of cash. Even then, I'm pretty sure you're on the hook for a lot of the tabs.
It's just straight up socially accepted prostitution.