by Guest » Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:37 pm
welcome abear!
first of all, you must not be a complete AFC if you have bed 75 women! thats more than most on this board, i garuntee you that! so you mustve been doing something right!
..having said that, after reading your post, i'm concerned that you may still have a great deal of feelings for your ex-wife. though i see that you have made some major steps in the right direction (getting rid of your alcohol and, picking up PUA books, etc.), it is my personal belief that inner game plays a HUGE role in your success as a PUA...
your mindset has to be in the right frame....you should be truly ready to move on (which it sounds like it to some degree) and rebuild your life. you must be in the right emotional state...rebuild your lifestyle, become emotionally stable, rebuild your social circle, etc.
i can definitely relate. most here would agree that i have all the major components to be a successful PUA. im attractive, good sense of style, fun, great job, confident, etc. but when i first got into the game, i still had feelings for my ex, and that definitely impaired my game. its really hard to explain, but it definitely retarded my progress and growth. now that i am (for the most part) over my ex, i have seen much more success. not sure why, but i have.
so my suggestion to you is to read the PUA books youve bought and try some of things you've learned from them. identify which style mesh's with your personality and experiment with what works for you. while you do this, continue to focus on inner game and repair yourself emotionally....
you should come to the next meetup and socialize with some of the guys here and hopefully we can help you with any questions you may have.
looking forward to seeing you out!