update

[Guest]

*i'm not looking for any advice but if any1 has anything to say, please do so*

as ya'll know, i'm engaged. i'm not sure if i'm going to get married or not though. things have been rocky between me and my fiance. last night, we got into a fight and she said, "i dont want to lie to u anymore... i dont want to be with u... i dont like u... ur not my type." i ignored the "ur not my type part" but everything else opened my eyes. now logic vs emotions... she might have said all that because she was mad at me but i sometimes believe she really means it. i replied, "then move out, get ur shit and leave." she said, "u could be a good man and let me stay for the night." i let her stay, we fucked, and all of a sudden, we're back together to try to make things work. now i'm at work and i just called her to give an ultimatum... i told her if she wants to be with me then cool but if not then move out. she told me she'll stay with me because she has nowhere else to go. i told her, "i dont want either of us to get hurt so make up ur mind now. she said she'll stay. i responded with, "i hope its for the right reasons then" and hung up.

i think its best to let her go instead of forcing her in a relationship and i feel bad for her because if i let her go, she wont have a place to stay. since i'm me... i'm willing to put my balls to the wall and try to make things work... faith is all i'm clinging to now

[Guest]

If it were me I would make being in a relationship a separate issue from where she stays.

Having her stay at your place and having her be in a meaningful relationship are very different things. It sounds to me like she is using you for a place to stay. It's up to you whether you want to allow that or not, but I would say don't expect it to turn into a meaningful relationship just because you are "together" in the sense of being under the same roof and fucking occasionally.

The good news is that you're not married. Be glad it's not more complicated than it is.

[Guest]

Vector is right. Make them separate issues.

But, I'd kick her happy ass to the curb because it's only going to get worse from here.

[Guest]

A wise man once pondered "whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous [women], or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end [the relationship]."

[Guest]

Shakespeare.. Lol Anyways I agree w/ both of them and know that being that there were/are feelings on either or both of yalls part then it won't really work out even with her just staying there. She is definately using your pad and might no be interested in a relationship at all. You will suffer b/c of this b/c it sounds to me like you are wanting that relationship. It's hard to kck someone out though if they have no where to go and yall use to have or still have feelings for e/ other....

I would try to help her find somewhere else to stay and hope that absence truly makes the heart grow fonder.

They also say that emotion clouds reason. When people say things that are cruel when they are drunk or mad, generally it is the truth. They don't have the reason and arent using their frontal lobe to rationalize and keep them from telling the truth.

[Guest]

Dump that bitch!

[Guest]

[quote1226960094=Professor]

They also say that emotion clouds reason. When people say things that are cruel when they are drunk or mad, generally it is the truth. They don't have the reason and arent using their frontal lobe to rationalize and keep them from telling the truth.
[/quote1226960094]

Every once in a while you rattle off some smart shit Professor.

CJ:

In the nicest way that I can say this...I feel sorry for you bro.

You really have some shit you need to figure out in life. And the best way to do that is be single.

Help this girl find a place to live. I know you care about her so you aren't just going to toss her to the curb. That is great that you are a nice guy.

I know basically nothing about you other than what you have posted on this forum. But even from that I am about 99.9%(Actually 100% but I will hedge my bet) certain things will not end well with this girl. You will not marry her. You will not end up happily ever after with her. No way. And this is probably true with any girl you find(Right now). You really need to embrace what you can learn from this site, this community, these people and grow as a person.

No matter your decision I wish you the best of luck. You will need it my friend.

Be Well

[Guest]

the greatest thing about this forum is that these are a good bunch of guys who only want whats best for you..

having said taht...they are all correct. this cannot, and will not end well...what she said last night is the truth and is only with you because of the past you guys shared and the fact that she has no place to go...she even said that herself...i know its not easy to walk away when you have so many feelings for her, but you have be honest with yourself and do whats best for you...and thats to cut her loose and move on...in the end, both of you guys will be better off...

[Guest]

Are you kidding me..yet again?

This is the same girl from
[url]http://www.dallaslair.org/p/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?21949.0[/url]

that you got very credible advice from experienced guys that you promptly dismissed. I don't know what you are expecting by posting this stuff. It SCREAMS AFC (which is FINE, many of us were there at some point in our lives and what this community is here to help with) BUT what is NOT fine, is it doesn't sound like you want or are interested in advice. It sounds like you want us to blow smoke up your ass and give you a warm fuzzy feeling that what you are doing is ok. This isn't Oprah. You need a serious wake up call before you find your life in a real shit storm. We are here to help and WANT to help, but if you aren't willing to see the light there's not much else to say.

Read Playercool's response...then reread it.

Don't take this as discouraging, i'm just seriously frustrated by your posts and want some way to try to help...

[Guest]

I am no guru when it comes to dating. But to me it sounds like no matter what this girl does to you, you will stick with her. She will treat you like shit and you will come back to her. Listen to these guys, they know what they are talking about, they have given you the same advice multiple times. I understand it is hard, anytime you have one-itis you feel like she is the only girl worth anything and you never want to give her up (I have been there). But, like professor said, emotion clouds reason. You are filled with emotions for this one girl, and that is clouding your reasoning.

I think playercool and topdog are spot on with this.

But you are the only one that knows the whole story and it is up to you to decide what you really want with this.