I think I've noticed in relationships and human relations in general is that people often do things for others that they would like done for themselves. I also think people often give gifts they would like to recieve instead what the recipient would like.
When I was a kid my mom would bug the crap outa me about what i wanted for my birthday or christmas and then she would always get me something different from what I wanted because the things I was interested in didn't seem interesting to her.
Ihad a gf that used to cook for me a lot. When she broke up with me she said you know it was really neat the one time you cooked for me in a very sarcastic tone. It was then that I realized her cooking for me was her way of showing me that she cared for me and since I didn't ever do it for her she interepreted that as me not caring about her. I'm not saying I should have cooked for her all the time, but I should have realized that that is how she showed love to me and that I should have done it more often for her.
and yes Grimm I know this a gay post