I am unwilling to be 2nd to some other bf, and romantic exclusivity appeals to me--I want to love a girl and have her love me.
she can love you whatever her current situation is. You just told me that you wanted an exclusive non exclusive relationship. Be more clear on what you want. A couple of the girls I'm seeing are in other relationships. Does that mean that they don't love me? No, they love me even more because I'm the guy that she can go to that's going to not judge her, and tell it to her like it is. I even try to help her current relationship because if she feels more loved with him then that's fine I benefited her life positively, job done.
I am unwilling to make unrealistic promises about sexual exclusivity as 1) I want to continue to work on my skills 2) I don't think she would benifit from sexual exclucivity and 3) I believe that sexual monogamy breeds distrust in relationships (as either partner may try to or be tempted to 'cheat'). Humans are not monogamous.
this is contradictory of your next statement
I wouldn't be thrilled about her being able to have sex with other guys, but I feel it would be unfair to make such a lopsided arragement. Also this is much preferable to her cheating, or me worrying about her cheating and us both becoming insecure and worrying over stupid stuff like missed phone calls. Besides, I don't think she'd do often if at all.
you should be thrilled that she's with other guys. Where do you think girls learn new skills and stuff about themselves that would be intriguing to you? It's from other guys, other people, and doing things without you. I'm glad when she comes back from being with another guy. If the guy had an abilities at all that means I'm going to see something she learned. Something I can benefit from and enjoy, and in turn better please the other girls I'm seeing.
We've all seen relationships collapse under the suspicious, insecurities, and mistrust created by forcing monogamy on a species that simply isn't monogamous...this is especially problematic in long-distance relationships...
you're right there is a complete trust between me and the girls I'm seeing. They are free to be totally honest with me as it's what's expected, and they know that in no way will I judge them. This provides for a bond between us that she doesn't have with anyone else. I am their zen. Their place to go when all the world is crashing around them where they know there will always be a positive, trusting energy that will instantly make them feel that everything is alright.
I'd love to create a perfect long-lasting relationship with a girl, perhaps this one.
You contradict yourself again. You must decide exactly what you want whether it be exclusivity or not. You must be confident in your own beliefs above anything else or you will come off as unsure of yourself, and less confident as a person. Seriously write down what you believe, make sure every one of those has solid reasons to back it up, and once you find a belief you like make sure to stick with it as long as it's positively benefiting you.