Serious Subject

[Elation]

I become very playful and childish once I'm "in" with a girl. If I can't break through to this stage before a full-close, then it is innitiated once in pillow-talk/ snuggling time after sex. I'm very carefree and make it a point to create the vibe where nothing matters.

So to fart in bed isn't really that embarrassing. I might say "pull my finger" that way she knows what about to happen. Or, I'll make it as loud as possible and then just smile. Look, it's a natural part of being a human. I'm not ashamed to simply be just human. If she is pretentious or stuck up and think those kind of things actually matter than that's her problem. And if she can't see that as a weakness in herself than she deserves the fart. If she overreacts I simply ignore her emotions (as I know they are stupid and based in insecurity) and withdraw attention until she is behaving again.

I'll admit, sometimes girls just take so much work to train. But it's the only way a successfully fulfilling relationship will work.

This reminds me: one time, (and I love fucking with girls) I had this mLTR, and I was eating her out... get this: so I'm munchin' some rug and I pull her vag open with my fingers and blow her up like a fucking balloon. I literally filled her pussy with air! HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD IT WAS AWESOME!!! I'm cracking up just remembering this. She went nuts!!! Oh, it was great she sat there, pisssed the fuck off as she uncontrollable farted out of her vageen. Picture me, cracking up, laughing my ass off as she skirms and honkers at me, pathetically helpless as she uncontrollably farted. Oh god, and it lasted for a solid minute too!! HAHAHA it was sweeeet!

-Elation

[Welsh_Dragon]

Yeah it's not really that big of a deal is it? I hope by that point we have connected beyond the stage that a fart would break it. I'd blame the dog. Then laugh because she doesn't have one. Acutally I just read zine say that exact thing. haha listen to him:)

[Twitchy]

I was talking about this with one of my MLTRs over the weekend and thought it would be fun to post about.

Any comments from the ladies on this board? I have been chased out of bed by a girl calling ducks a time or two in my day....

[Tracer]

This has to be the funniest subject ever...and of course I have a story.

I was in bed with this one girl all snuggled up where she was halfway laying on me with her leg between mine all the way up with her mid thigh touching my "man" area. For some reason I started getting bubble guts at like 9pm and it is now past 2am. I didn't really have an out to excuse myself and her place was pretty small so, I wasn't about to go to the bathroom and my rule is I won't do it in front of a girl because I don't want her doing it in front of me. So, I was at the stage where I was drifting off to sleep when of the the sudden I hear this "PPPHHHERRRRP!" It was almost like a quick burst machine gun went off... I very quickly realized that it was me and then I asked her "Did you hear that?" Lucky for me she was pretty much out of it... I could only imagine what it felt like on her leg. LMAO...

I was talking to one of my possibly current MLTRs about the whole farting thing and she is okay with it until you try the dutch oven and then your fucked. I personally wouldn't disrespect anyone like that and I would truly be pissed if someone were to do it to me... Treat others the way you want to be treated.

[Sage]

my rule is I won't do it in front of a girl because I don't want her doing it in front of me.

I was talking to one of my possibly current MLTRs about the whole farting thing and she is okay with it until you try the dutch oven and then your fucked. I personally wouldn't disrespect anyone like that and I would truly be pissed if someone were to do it to me... Treat others the way you want to be treated.

i really like this view

[TheScientist]

On a related note:

What about puking on a girl?

I did this with an ONS a few years ago. She didn't really take it well. I ruined a good pair of shoes.

But maybe my game just wasn't tight enough?

Maybe she didn't want to wash the sheets the next day and she didn't draw the line for sheet washing at a wet spot? Maybe there actually are some normal boundaries and I crossed them?

[Tracer]

Seriously!!! You've got to explain what happened.

[Westfall]

Never trust a fart.

[Scoundrel]

It's my feeling that passing gas anywhere near another person is rude. I know, "it's a natural body function." Well, so is smelling like a pig in the summer, but I use speed stick for that.

[MagicBalls]

If it's a big fart, it's always better to go to the toilet, even if you are alone, otherwise you end up with racing stripes --and who wants to see those laying around the room. Besides, you never know when you'll get a little extra "surprise."

Now if it's a silent one, you might still want to walk around a bit and spray room deodorant because the silent ones are indeed deadly. Spray deliberately and excessively while playing the "blaming game."

This is if you're awake. If you're half asleep, though... well, nobody gives a shit when they're half asleep.

Also, avoid beans and spicy food before sex.