One-itis

[Smile]

Alright guys, here it is...

Tracer and I sarge Denton and I meet, number and kiss close and pull day 2 and day 3 including F*closes. My question is...

I like this girl, she cooks, cleans and is cool to talk to BUT I don't want to stop sarging and I don't think she is the type of girl that will like me sarging. She is VERY clingy, which is nice but not good for sarging. Oh ya, this girl is attracted to me quite a bit and even though wants to take it slow has mentioned me to her mom (nothing huge just a mention). Background: She is 26, graduate student and has a mature manner.

I have made subtle hints that when Tracer, Shine and I go out we talk to many random people (sarging)

So...,

How should I go about doing this? I am at a crossroad. I am getting better at sarging and growing as a person but now have come to a wall. I don't like letting things go that I enjoy but at the same time there are many fish in the sea. I have had casual relationships with girls for a while but have not had a serious/long term relationship (connection really not just length of time) with a girl for a while and that feeling of wanting to keep a connection is back. I am NOT saying that she is THE ONE (have only known her for 4 days) BUT this one has done nothing so far to make me not like her BUT I ALSO want to sarge. Basically, I don't want to fuck up something that could be or could not be. I am not saying that I want to jump into a serious relationship with her now but I need to figure out HOW to keep a relationship (dating style relationship with a girl) and sarge if possible. At the same time... I am 23 and want to get married someday and don't want to become a 55 year old playboy that never gets married.

So basically, I would still like to see her and have good times like this last weekend but want to sarge to not only better my game but myself/life. I am not sure how to handle this in regards to maintaining a relationship (dating) and sarging.

I guess I need to talk to her and let her know what I do and if she is cool with it then great and if not then too bad. Any thoughts on how to handle this and/or what to say...?

Also, when do you know when to stop and she is the one? I don't think you ever really stop, rather tone it down a bit and calibrate to a marriage (if you get married) due to the fact that you want to keep the attraction alive without letting the comfort take over completely.


Thoughts...?

[Finch]

You should check out Vector's blog because he and I have been talking about this exact issue. I think we both agree that when the perfect girl comes along you will know it. Part of being able to tell is she is the one though is having a good sized sample of girls to compare her too.

When I first started sarging I had this same problem. I met someone really great but I didn't want to give up the game yet because I had just started.

The best thing to do is just take it slow. Tell her you don't wan't to jump into a relationship and you aren't ready to be exclusive. Talk to her about how your views on sex. If you two have a lot of fun together then that is all that should really matter right now. If it isn't enough for her then let her be the one to walk away. You don't need to tell her you are an aspiring PUA. You don't owe her anything until you are in a committed relationship. Just have fun, take it day by day. Chances are as time goes by you will start to see the reasons why your gut is telling you she is not worth dropping everything for. Or it could be the opposite. As you get to know her better you may find that she is what you want. Only time can tell.

My advice, tell her you want to keep seeing her and getting to know her better but that you aren't going to cut off contact with the rest of the world while you are doing it.

[Smile]

Thanks Finch, it is funny how when you actually feel a good connection with someone your blinders can turn on. I agree with what you said and that is what I was thinking. I am not 100% stuck on this girl (I have only known her for 4-5 days) but so far I enjoy the connection we have. In the past, when I have felt a good connection with a certain girl, some relationships have been open but most have been more cut and dry (either serious or not). Her and I both agreed to take it slow. What is Vector's blog titled?

[AFC AdamLondon]

The key to winning this game...

...is leaving it.

My teacher once said to me.

"Adam, who wants to be a 40 yr old weirdo running around a mall reading people's fortunes with a plastic fish hoping to sleep with them."

personally I want to get married settle down and have kids.

That starts the day you stop gaming.

If she's the one good on you.

If she isn't, then it doesn't matter what she thinks.

You don't have to answer straight away.

Hope that helps.

AFC AdamLondon

[phoenix_rising]

I personally don't see the need to stop either. That's the goal isn't it. To find a potential mate that is of your standards. That's why I started. A lot of people see their PUA activities as skeletons in the closet, which is completly inaccurate. You can still sarge and have a relationship. The goal just changes. Maybe concentrate on women as friends, or limit yourself to number closes, or concentrate on winging. Also the skill set of a PUA is useful in all aspects of life, not just for purpose of sex. If you really wanna stay sharp and keep yourself active without comprimising your relationship...teach others. Only a person with internalized game can truly teach a person. In the end aren't we all just advanced women's psychology majors.

-phoenix

[Smile]

Awesome posts guys and thank you. I have actually come to the same/similar realization with the help from friends and the community. I am still trying to calibrate this but if anything will become of her and I (relationship wise but as of now too soon) then I would limit myself to number closes or maybe a slight kiss. I agree with the statement concerning teaching/internalizing one day (for I hope to better internalize "the game" in the future as everyone does here). To myself and my usual wings, Tracer and Shine, this is new to us (that is, new to our non-AFC selfs or at least our becoming non-AFC selfs) and we are learning from this and calibrating in effect. Thanks again.

[Guest]

I recently came across a chick that I see myself getting one-itis over and was wondering if anyone has any tips on how to prevent this, ususally I would just go out sarging for a couple nights and that would solve the problem, but because of holiday events comeing up, it's gona be saturday before I can really sarge like I like to. Any small advice or tips to prevent one-itis/crushes would help.

-Thanks

[Guest]

The heart is a funny thing. Man has been able to harness electricity, the power of hundreds of horses under the hood of a car, and nuclear reactions, but the heart......ahhhh that's a tough one; it knows no master.

This also depends on your goals. It sounds like you met a quality girl, but
don't want to be tied down right now. More details on your relationship with this girl are necessary to give it full due. Is this some girl you barely know, a girl you full closed, or what? Those details change a lot in the situation

[Guest]

appreciate the response, well everything expect kick in pants, I think Ill skip that part ;p

[Guest]

Why is it always the case that with something we don't want, as soon as we CAN'T have it anymore, that's all we can fucking think about? Or at least that's the case with me.

There was this girl who I was hooking up with while, call her HB stacey, I was seeing other people, and I never really thought that much of her. Come to find out now that she has a new boyfriend. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! She was seeing us both at the same time. I wouldn't commit, and he would, and now i'm in the cold. Well, I feel so fucking snubbed!

Is there any way to make this feeling go away? I HATE that this is a vulnerability of mine, always fucking falling for girls, and always PINING over the ones that ditch me while I ignore the ones that want me even if they're hotter.

I hate life right now!!!! FUCK!!! Somebody fucking shoot me, seriously!