New idea for an opener.

[Scoundrel]

PUA: “Hey, I want to ask you guys something. What makes a dude a player?”

This has not been field tested. It was something I posted in the forum on a dating site. The discussion has been interesting.

I’d always thought of a player as a man that had the skills to have sex with a lot of different women. However, it seems that women view a player as a man that pretends to be exclusive, but is really seeing other women.

I’ll be testing this out tonight and I’ll post my findings soon.

[Vector]

I like it.

Twitchy just posted and mentioned using as openers questions that he actually wants to know the answer to. I do it sometimes too.

What makes a man a player is actually a question I would like to have a woman's opinion on. I think I will have to ask.

[Scoundrel]

I opened three sets with this last night. One mixed and one where men joined in later. It was fun, but it was difficult to stretch it out.

I feel this has a lot of potential. I'm gong to keep working with it.

[waijai]

I like it, it's good debate between men and women. You should be able to open large mixed sets with it. As far as stretching it out, you don't want to discuss it too long because it's just an opener. It's used to just initiate the interaction. Multiple thread from there.

[Tracer]

This brings up a good point. Why are we putting sooo much effort into the opener if it is just going die super fast. Just try open with "Hey!" or something super easy. I have done this in the past with after an IA, but never as a cold approach.

Other openers though:
1. Hey! Quick question....Why is that women are more likely to cheat on their boyfriend then guys are?

2. Question...Can you name five things that you can make with oatmeal? (this might be a good game rather than an opener)

3. Hi! My friends and I got into a conversation about cheesy pickup techniques, what was your craziess pickup attempt?

[Scoundrel]

So much effort is put into openers because she will make a decision about you based on the first thing out of your mouth. She will blow you off or she'll give you another few mins. I'd prefer the latter.

[Vector]

I used this last night a few times and it went pretty well.

Two girls, proximity AI me, then:

Vector: Hey, how do you know if a guy is a player?
HB: Do you have a condom in your wallet?
Vector: Well i have one but it's not actually in my wallet.
HB: Doesn't matter, you're a player.
Vector: I'm not wondering about myself, though. I'm wondering what's the definition of a player. Surely it's not any person who simply carries a condom.
HB: blah blah, (I don't remember what she said)

Her body language was turned toward me pretty much right away, but her friend was standing further away, not facing toward us. About 15 seconds later, some guy starts talking to the friend and makes a really bad approach, leaning in, asking LAME questions and so forth. From her BL I can tell she does NOT want to talk to this guy. I reach over and gently take her hand and gently pull her toward me. The guy apologizes, and says he didn't realize we were friends. (Little does he know, that she has not said a single word to me yet! hahaha!) She is glad to be "rescued" and the conversation turns to how stupid most guys pickup lines are. I agree wholeheartedly. Most guys pickup lines are very stupid. I am laughing inside because she has no idea that I used a line.

[waijai]

You should start asking this question to random people, just so you can more easily gauge responses and not be dumbfounded by something throw from left field. I was asking most of the cute girls at work this question today.

[Scoundrel]

It occurs to me, it may be helpful in building this routine to post a few quotes from the women in the dating forum where I originally posted the question.

They seem to be unanimous in the idea that a player is deceitful in what he does. But, as long as a man is truthful about seeing a number of women, no one seems to mind. Many said they wouldn’t date such a man, but we all know better than that.

The ladies:

IMHO, a player is someone that agrees to be in an exclusive relationship with a women then emails, calls, chats with and asks and or agrees to meet with other women, including but not limited to ex girlfriends and does not tell you about it. In my particular case, he tries to turn it around on you that you have issues and he is just pursing them as "friends".

A player is someone who tells women what they want to hear, instead of the truth.

A player is someone who lies about anything that would make him seem more appealing to the women he wants to date, have sex with, etc.

I could probably think of more, but it is a beautiful Saturday and I am going to go enjoy it minus my ex-player!

********

IMO, dishonesty in any form is playing games. Or a "player" if you will. I can spot a player a mile away.
Why? Because players *always* do the chasing, in my experience.
Tell an over zealous man he has the ugliest shirt on you've ever seen and he'll be following you around all night. HA HA!! Say my name, ______!!

********

To me a player is someone who goes around and flirts with a lot of people, and leads everyone on. Its okay to do nice things for people, but theres a line. You weren't put on this earth to please everyone, and if you want to please people then find yourself a lady and be 100% devoted to her and no other woman.

********

deffinition of player according to Vivian (thats me) -

A guy that you allow to treat you like shit and don't take any
blame for his actions against you - so if he is a player- You
allowed him to play you. Lets face it. We know when we are
being blown. Most people turn a blind eye instead of looking
at it head on.
You get what you want- if he is not giving you what you want you
walk away.

curlygrl~

********

To me, at least, a (male) "player" is someone who leads multiple women to think that they are his one and only, when none of them really are. He's someone who pretends an affection he doesn't feel in order to convince a woman to believe in a relationship that also isn't real....usually for sex, although I suppose some do it for the ego gratification (along with the sex).

Someone who dates with sincere intentions but just doesn't find what he is looking for with that specific woman isn't a player.

********

In my opinion, a player is a guy who sleeps with alot of women. When I use the word, however, I'm thinking that the man is also dishonest abot how he beds all of these women. Women can be players, as well. I have had the misfortune of being friends with a few female players. I once was the crying shoulder for a guy who was being played by a friend of mine, and I finally came right out and told him what was going on. He was so in love, though, he kept right on being played a bit longer. And I kept on being his shoulder...

********

when the intentions they present are NOT their true intentions.
In other words, it's DECEIT.

[Rhody]

I used this one quite a bit recently. It is actuall pretty interesting because it is related to a problem I was trying to solve. I used one opener that went like this:
Rhody: I have a friend who kind of talked his girlfriend into getting a boob job. Now she wants him to pay for it. Should he pay for her boob job?

The problem was that people kept saying, "it's you, isn't it? Your girlfriend is getting a boob job. Is she here?"

I talked to Vector about it and he suggested anchoring the opener in the woman, so I modified it like this:
Rhody: I have this friend, Sandy, who decided to get a boob job. Her boyfriend pretty much talked her into it, so she wants him to pay for it. What do you think about this? Should he pay for it?

This went better. I got to through the story, which ends humorously.
Rhody: Actually, what they decided to do is have him pay for half. Then he gets to name one of them.

Not a bad opener for mixed sets. And it's actually true, except I only met Sandy once and it's really about my male friend.

However, it got me thinking about whether I could use the "friend" assumption to my advantage. If I'm asking for an opinion about my "friend" that turns into a DHV for me, then that would be a genius opener. I was racking my brain to think about some situation I could ask about. Something like:
Rhody: I have this friend who has this girl he hangs out with. Every time they get together she wants to give him a blowjob. He feels funny about it, but he doesn't know how to get her to stop.

I know it's stupid, but that's along the line I was thinking. That's what they get for assuming the "friend" is me though.

Now the player opener almost works, because they might assume you're asking because you have a lot of women calling you a "player." It's not the best assumption, but some women might not resist the temptation to find out what makes YOU a player.

For the record, here's how I've been wording it:
Rhody: When a girl calls a guy a "player," what does that mean?