did i mess up? Need some advice

[scorpion]

I sarged this girl and we ended up hanging out at my place the next night. Ended up making out with her but yet it felt really awkward. She is very shy. It didn't go beyound making out. I didn't even try because it felt awkward. Like wow how can this hb be making out with me. for exmple
me: i am trying so hard not to kiss you right now.
hb: (smiles) looks away shyly
me: you are really shy arent you?
hb: yea my x husband use to say that guys are going to take advantage of me because i am too nice.
me: i think you can take care of yourself your a grown woman.
(i look at her she glances away, when she looks back i say) do you want to kiss me
hb: yes
me: why havent you done it yet?
hb: your the guy
me: come here ( i pull her close and we make out a little bit)
on a scale of 1 to 10 that was a 3, show me a 5( we make out a little more) i say better, show me a 8( make out some more) now show me a 10. ( we make out even more)
Hb: did i pass your test
me: i dont know. (she goes to the end of the couch) you definitly passed i go over and make out with her a little more

I didnt even try to escalate further.. My past expierence has been usually a girl would have grabbed my crouch or pulled my hair a little bit. She just didnt escalate. What could i have done. Should i have just started groping her? Did i just wuss out ? She hasnt even texted me today. When i first met her the night before she texted the next morning at 8. Did i fuck it up by not going further? I havent im'ed her yet. What should i do? Need advice!

[Finesse]

hb: your the guy

Thats way she didnt escalate.... thats your job as a man.

as for how to escalate without just straight groping her, you can let your arms and backhand lightly graze the breasts. if you feel her body tense up or her kissing goes "whoa nelly!" then you cant escalate yet, do a take away, and start over with kissing.

You can touch the small of her back closer to the butt, and watch for the same body tensing and kiss whoa's

Those are a couple of ways that I use.

You didn't mess up if you learned anything.... so the real question is, "Did you learn anything from this experience?"


I would probably text her, tomorrow about helping you with your laundry, or something weird like that. Of course..... I am weird. I just told a friend that I usually go hang out with that I was touching myself and thinking of her..... she called me a crazy nut and wants to go drink tonight.

Also, step back, review the situation and let what you are feeling start guiding you on what to say and do next. Internalize everything that happened, and rely on what you know about pick up and women to guide the discission. I think you already know the answer, your just not being honest with yourself.

[scorpion]

You're right finesse. I know the answer it felt awkward to me so it probably felt the same way to her too. I am very inexperienced when it comes to getting further. My past expierence with women have been that she usually makes the next moves. I should lead! But when I am in the moment I can't see as clearly as when I look back. I know what I would do differently if i had the chance. But what I feel bad about is that i really liked this girl. I will try texting her later and if she dosent respond I will know for sure if I messed up. I am just starting out. But already seem to be doing better than I usually did. It's hard for me to have to move on to the next after you get attached. Does it get easier?

[Tracer]

Hey Man! How many girls have you picked up since you started this journey? If you get hooked on this one there won't be many more (unless all yo wanted was that one girl) so, if you messed that one up just learn from your mistakes and correct them in the next one. There are too many women out there for you to be stuck on just one right now.

The first girl always mean something to you or atleast to me and that is why I tried to keep them as a friend for either booty calls or protential pivot. Think ahead man. Think ahead.

By the way. Good job! And remember Plausible Deniability!

You are the man so lead like one and don't be sorry for it.

[etohminer]

take out some jam and a can of corn, and party on. at least you guys won't be hungry. jk

[Vector]

I understand where you're coming from, I used to be just like that. You will naturally get more confident and more assertive over time.

For me it used to be I was operating under the assumption that holding back was "nice" or "courteous" or "good" while being aggresive was "pushy" or "creepy" or "asshole".

My problem was that I based all my actions on the assumption, and I didn't read the situation. I didn't know how.

I'm not saying you should always be aggressive. If you're aggressive at the wrong time you can get yourself in worse trouble than being too passive. You're just going to have to learn the signals so you can pace it just right.

One example, if you ask if she wants to kiss you and she says yes, don't try to ask her one more time to make the first move. Kiss her.

Your mission should be to learn how to read situations and gauge reactions. If you always escalate too slow, you can still learn, but you will learn slower. Just go for it sometimes. You may be surprised at the reaction you get. And one of the great things about saying, "i am trying so hard not to kiss you right now" is that you can backpedal gracefully ("i just lost control for a second there") if she rejects your advance.

[Archaeopteryx]

Hb: did i pass your test
me: i dont know. (she goes to the end of the couch) you definitly passed i go over and make out with her a little more

So she IODs you, and you chase after her like a little puppy dog? This is just my opinion, but anytime you say "I don't know", you're making yourself look indesisive, and by chasing after her when she runs away is a sure-fire way to destroy attraction.

Did i fuck it up by not going further?

Anytime you're asking this question the answer is going to be yes.