Easy lay got f'd up somehow?

[Dav]

I just got onto this and am excited to be here and get to know some great people! I got a question I wanted to ask the experts in this form.

I was at a party saturday night and a 7.5 girl was there that caught my eye. I teased her a little thru out the night but didnt pay much attention to her, just let her know I knew she was there and she was a little clumsy, dorky, etc. Later, two of her friends came up to me (2:00 A.M.) and let me know she was about to leave and I had better make my move, "but be smooth" according to them. So I went over to her and started to talk a little and tease her, then an opening came and I kissed her. No problem.

Got interupted and she left. I went back to the party, she showed up, I went in to get a beer and she followed, we got in the house and started some light making out and I gently pulled her into me by her lower waist. Here is where she started to get weird. She would pull away a little but stay near me, so I would pull her back. She never said "Stop" or "No" but she would hint around that I might get into trouble, or i was really wanting I "it".

Finally, she pulled away and I let her go back to the party, and followed her back out. This happend 2 more times. By the third time I finally got tired of the crap and just stayd out at the party. She waited around for another 1/2 hr. but didnt initiate anything. She finally left around 4:30 AM.

I am not going to push it and get some girl yelling rape! Not worth it. I like to tease and play a little hard to get but she didnt stop playing hard to get. I want to know what I could have done differently, improved, or if somehow I gave up my power, and if she might have just been crazy, changed her mind, and any other input that might be of help next time! Thanks for the comments!

[Rhody]

I think she didn't want to make out at the party where her girlfriends and everybody else could walk in. It was time to extract her to a seduction location where she wouldn't be judged by a bunch of spectators. You probably could have said, "I need to go home and feed my goldfish. Wanna help?"

Then again, maybe you stayed in attraction too long and she was hoping you would build a connection with her. When you isolated her inside the house, did you just make out or did you find out some things that you really like about her? Did you convey your own emotions to her?

But I stick with my first instinct. When I first read this, I thought you just failed to make the jump to the seduction location.

[Rainman]

seduction location true..........one word for you though.......COMFORT. you build enough of it and girls will do shit on the street in front of 4000 people it won't matter. just last week i made out with a girl on the street in front of her friends as they yelled at her "stephanie, what are you doing you don't even know him" but it didn't matter to her. she had comfort with me and she didn't even flinch

[Tribulus1000]

"Hey me and my friends are headed over to IHOP, you should tag along"

"Hey I'm hungry, let's go for breakfest."

[Vector]

Sounds like you were doing all the chasing, which sets up and triggers automatic responses of pulling away.

Talk about sex in a casual sort of way, so she knows you don't think of it as a big deal.. you're familiar with sex. Then when you find something about her that you really find sexy (can be anything, preferably non-physical), set up false barriers or false disqualifiers. The barriers make her feel comfortable and she will help you break them down.

For example, if you said, "I would love to feel you up but there are too many people here," she may well respond with, "let's go over there." Then you're totally in the clear.

[MagicBalls]

I had an issue with a girl I know where she was drinking and some AMOG bought her a shot. I was really hoping she would not drink too much because I knew how she would get when she came down, especially since we were getting physical. Sure enough, she started coming down, big time ASD. Then she left me to go to the bar. She was surrounded and I couldn't get to her. The AMOG was being a total asshole, blocking her, but I just ignored him.

I went around and started talking to other people to wait it out. I then went back and tried to get her to jump. She said she didn't want to drive, but I got her to agree to jump with me later. This is despite the fact that she kept asking me if I wanted to leave without her. The AFC of a year ago would have left under those circumstances.

I gave her some more space, then went back and danced with her for a while. Then we jumped.

I'm not saying this would work, but it worked for me. In the book I'm reading, _Influence_, making such a commitment is a form of concession.

[TheAwakened]

Sounds like you were doing all the chasing, which sets up and triggers automatic responses of pulling away.

I agree that this was probably your biggest problem. Ideally, you should be the one pulling away and having her pull you back in rather than vice-versa.

[Rhody]

I wouldn't say he was doing ALL the chasing, because he said that she followed him into the house and her friend told him to make a move, so she obviously told her friend to say something. But as far as physical escalation, he did all the chasing, it seems. She was definitely interested, so I don't think her pulling away was related to him initiating kino. But what do I know.

It could be that she just felt like making out with a guy, and he satisfied that. And then she was done with him. Young girls are like that.