Realization

[Finesse]

I had this realization a while back now, actually. But just recently, I thought about it again, so I am deciding to share it.

People typically have a small group of friends they hang out with on a normal basis. The group usually consists of arounf 4 to 5 people. A group will usually have these types of people. The alpha male/female (if a single sex group, if its a both sex group then there will be an alpha female too), the sucker, and the gallery.

The alpha male/female, of course, is the one that that is percieved to be the leader, and center of attention.

The sucker is the one that you see always bring the drinks to the table. Their sole job is to be a lacky to the alphas, they get their drinks, and basically follow in the alphas shadow. Their a go-pher.

and the gallery, is anyone else that isnt the alpha, or the sucker. The gallery does nothing more than pump up the alphas. They are kept around in order for the alphas to still feel alpha.

In a nut shell, that is what a social group is made of.

[Scoundrel]

Basically I agree with you. However, I think you’re over simplifying.

[Finesse]

However, I think you’re over simplifying.

Do explain.

[101998]

People really hang around in groups like this? That must suck.

[NobodyUKnow]

I had this realization a while back now, actually. But just recently, I thought about it again, so I am deciding to share it.

I think this is a primary archetype of a social group, but by no means the only one. I suspect that's what Scoundrel means when he says you're oversimplying.

I don't know to be honest, but I wouldn't be suprised if this is the most common archetype, but I would also say that *I* wouldn't hang in a group like this; I find it far too cynical and limiting. I wouldn't want to be the alpha, because I don't like dominating my friends -- that isn't friendship to me -- and I sure as hell wouldn't be a sucker or a gallery.

I find that with my friends having a balance is important to me. Sometimes the group works for me, sometimes we work for someone else in the group. IMO friendship without symbiosis is parasitism.

[Finesse]

When I talk about the types of people in these group there is a scale in which I didnt mention. For instance

The Sucker can be anywhere on the scale of (worst case) buys all the drinks all the time that the group drinks, all the way to a (modest) emotional trashcan for the girls in the group, to just a validation friend. What I mean by validation friends is that they are there only when the "alpha" wants to feel validated.

The scale isnt set in stone, but usually the sucker is the one in the group that tries to please everyone.
The alpha is the one that usually makes the discissions and usually the party revolves around their idea of fun.
And the Gallery is along for the ride, but none of them have stepped out of their shells to be up there with the alpha in fun-ness.

Ya'll are right this isnt the only model though. It's just the one I 85% of the time see.

As PUA's though, we know the difference so alot of us could never use people the way that others could. For instance, a girl "friend" of mine likes to go out with a particular guy. The guy always buys her AND the people she is with drinks. He is supplicating that his only useful purpose in life is to provide things that everyone around him wants. That is his reality, and he is a great guy which is why I like hanging around with him, but I don't take alot of, if any, drinks from him. 1) because I am aware of whats going on, and 2) because im not a douche. But he still does it, despite me even telling, yes.... telling him about the error in his ways.

Leader/Follwer, mentality. He is obviously a follower.

It's all about the perception you have. The people I hang with are just important than I am. The opinions matter to me, and if they want to lead then they are more than welcome to. There will be times where I lead as well.

Exactly what you said NobodyUKnow, friendship without symbiosis is parasitism.

It's a respect thing, and unfortantely alot of people in this world dont have it.

[MagicBalls]

Don't forget the token gay guy.