Got the # to oneitis girl

[TheAwakened]

Forget her, at least for the time being. I had horrible oneitis awhile back and I ended up calling the girl and telling her I just couldn't talk to her anymore. Now I'm thinking I'd like to talk to her again at some point, but I'd like to get some action elsewhere first.

[PUA1234]

yeah this is what im pretty much told by every single person on every possible seduction board....I posted this topic onto another board and got flammed really badly ..."supposedly" I was to get her # the "right" way not through a friend which is true but I fucked up and ran out of time before I could do it and I didn't want to get into the LJBF zone besides shes got a bf so unless she dumps him I don't see us going out....

[TheAwakened]

Looks like I'm on speaking terms with the aforementioned girl sooner than I thought. On the plus side, it'll give me more motivation to go out and sarge so I don't go oneitis over her again.

[rumsey]

haha. how can you both be so aware of your one-itis and yet so oblivious that you have it just as bad now as you ever had?

[NobodyUKnow]

The reason FTOW is standard advice for oneitis is that once you've fucked ten other women, everything that make "the one" special will now appear common... you have this list of things you like in "the one"... and you'll see some of those things in all the other women, and some things you like that weren't possessed by "the one".

Anyway, with regard to this chick, my opinion on how to handle it is to be completely upfront and honest the next time you see her (do NOT call her again -- she didn't give you her #, and that makes you creepystalker) : "Hey, X! blah blah blah... listen, that call the other night... it was a little wierd... I wanted to talk to you but you left before I got your number, so Z was kind enough to give it to me. Look, I have to be honest with you: I really think you're special, we're going to <some> next week, and I really think you should go with me". Period.

- Don't apologize; just recognize what you did might have been wierd for her. Be a man about it. Don't puss around what you're trying to say - lead her.

[TheAwakened]

haha. how can you both be so aware of your one-itis and yet so oblivious that you have it just as bad now as you ever had?

Hahaha, don't even go there. I may have an inkling of it now (or at least when I posted that), but you have no fucking idea how bad it used to be. I've since realized though that what we had then has long since passed...we can't seem to have a genuinely interesting conversation anymore.

[MagicBalls]

What you gotta do is something like this:

"Hey, that was me calling you the other day. I got your number from one of those private investigator sites on the Internet. The last four digits they gave me was wrong, so I tried a thousand combinations until I got to yours. By the way, I've been driving by your house every day, and there's this new Ford F150 parked outside that I hadn't seen before. Who does that belong to? You need to water your Magnolias, by the way, they're wilting. Hey, I wrote you a love poem. It's 10 pages long. I'm going to post it on your myspace as a comment. It's just to show you how much I love you and that I don't love anybody else. I had originally written it for my mom, but I changed the wording a little and dedicated it to you. I think about you all the time. The other day the microwave went "beep beep beep", I jumped up, and blurted out your name. I put you down as a reference for all the jobs I've been applying to lately, by the way. I don't have many friends that I could put on there, and I figured you wouldn't mind. I also put you on the emergency contact list for my lithium medication prescription. OK I gotta go finish my Half Life 2 game. I'm at the 300th level and I just unlocked a secret level where the FBI encryption codes get downloaded into the remote. See you soon, and I'll remember you with these pictures I got on my cell phone that I took from outside your window."

[Midnight]

you will NEVER get your one-itis girl if you only focus on her. NEVER. that only happens in romance novels bro... we've all had it and i'm sure the other guys will attest it never works.

the GFTOW advice is to change you mindset. you need it. the more women you get the more attractive you will be to other women.

[TheAwakened]

Ha, the only reason I thought she was special to begin with is that I was such a loser last summer that she was about the only girl I talked to.

[Midnight]

well, at least you're here to improve yourself, that is the first step.

sounds like you need to work on your confidence and inner-frame more than anything. you should take Jugglars seminar this weekend or one of the other bootcamps and keep reading these posts for advice.

my advice is you need to focus on success in your life, and self-improvement. find the weaknesses and why you would call yourself a 'loser' and do anything you can to change it.

anything in life that is worthwhile takes sacrifice. and usually involves stepping out on a ledge and taking risks. so grab your balls and do it.

cheers,
AK