Not a good week

[MagicBalls]

I was called "sweet" by two girls this week, which I understand is the Kiss of Death.

My oneitis is suddenly not returning my messages.

I got a number from a sexy girl on the elevator and she actually got out of the elevator on my floor and not hers, hung up her phone with her friend, just to give me her number. She was cute; kinda reminded me of that Meredith from Grey's Anatomy. I asked her out for lunch without setting a definite date and she seemed to be ok with it. She was a bit nervous and showed it. So I called her up just now. She was at work.

me: Hey, how's it going?
her: Hey! I didn't recognize your number.
me: Wacha doin?
her: I"m at work. And you?
me: Oh just here chillin.
her: settled down in your new place yet?
me: oh, for the most part, just real busy with work and school so it's hard to find the time. So you're at work?
her: yeah.
me: you want me to call you later?

At that point I raised the boyfriend flag. Nosedive.

me: oh, I don't want you to get the wrong idea, I just wanted to have lunch with you, and actually, that's why I was calling. Would like to have lunch next tuesday? It's up to you.

her: no, I have a boyfriend, and actually I shouldn't have given out my number, I usually don't do that.

Holy shit. I had my hopes up and was SHOT DOWN. Where did I go wrong? Did my calling on Saturday at 8:30 have something to do with it? It's just that during the week, man, I don't have time to call girls. Should I have had a story ready? I didn't want to keep her if she was working.

[Scoundrel]

You need to build a time bridge. Make plans to see her again while you're with her. While she's attracted to you. By waiting you let her lose those feelings.

Learn and grow.

[MagicBalls]

Yeah, I know about the time bridge thing, it's just that at that moment I really did not know when I would be free. I'll keep that in mind, though.

I'm trying to read the books I ordered when I get the chance. Right now I'm reading "Nice Guys Don't Get Laid". And boy, does that fit the bill with my oneitis. I fit the "Average Guy" description because sometimes I do treat certain girls like shit as well. As a matter of fact, I'm not afraid to use my oneitis to get laid, but we just don't hang out often enough to be worthwhile.

I think my confidence level is going up, though, I'm getting to the point where I make women nervous, and I kinda like the feeling of power that it gives you.

[Tribulus1000]

I was called "sweet" by two girls this week, which I understand is the Kiss of Death.

This is weak. Reframe it. So you got called "sweet". The next time this happens say "If you're a reptile" and then give a smirk smile or a Billy Idol grin.

Do not interalize this idea. It sucks. Move over and above it. Reframe it. There's a great book out there on this called "Mind Lines" by Michael Hall on reframing.

My oneitis is suddenly not returning my messages.

All or most of the guys here are here because of a crush. Some won't admit it but its true in 85-90% of the cases. You're not alone. Talk to the guys.

The thing to do is GF10. Go fuck 10 girls. Its easier said than done, I know but that is the prescription for a life of empowerment with women.

I got a number from a sexy girl on the elevator and she actually got out of the elevator on my floor and not hers, hung up her phone with her friend, just to give me her number. She was cute; kinda reminded me of that Meredith from Grey's Anatomy. I asked her out for lunch without setting a definite date and she seemed to be ok with it. She was a bit nervous and showed it. So I called her up just now. She was at work.

me: Hey, how's it going?
her: Hey! I didn't recognize your number.
me: Wacha doin?
her: I"m at work. And you?
me: Oh just here chillin.
her: settled down in your new place yet?
me: oh, for the most part, just real busy with work and school so it's hard to find the time. So you're at work?
her: yeah.
me: you want me to call you later?

At that point I raised the boyfriend flag. Nosedive.

me: oh, I don't want you to get the wrong idea, I just wanted to have lunch with you, and actually, that's why I was calling. Would like to have lunch next tuesday? It's up to you.

her: no, I have a boyfriend, and actually I shouldn't have given out my number, I usually don't do that.

Holy shit. I had my hopes up and was SHOT DOWN. Where did I go wrong? Did my calling on Saturday at 8:30 have something to do with it? It's just that during the week, man, I don't have time to call girls. Should I have had a story ready? I didn't want to keep her if she was working.

Nice job asking her out to lunch. Taking action is 100% better than sitting on your ass doing nothing.

You miss 100% of the shots you never take.

So good job.

Making girls nervous is anti-seductive. You should try to at least make them laugh and put a smile on their face.
Then lean back and be cool and ask what they're about (qualify them if that makes any sense.)

You should also learn something about phone game. Read some stuff on it. Do some research on it.

I hate the phone but one of the tenets of good phone game is to get the girl laughing and into a good state just like you do when you first meet her.
Then you go for some rapport on the phone and then you can lead it to going out and seeing her.

One big thing on getting phone #s in the first place is to set up a reason to get back together... and seem busy while doing it.

Example "Hey you seem pretty cool, have you been to Velvet Hookah? My friend said it was so cool and they play really trippy new age Indian music. I'm going to be busy with work for a few days but I am free Thursday. Do you have any friends you think would want to come?"

Its like presupposing the sale. Its like saying "Its a wonderful three bedroom 2 bath...your kids will love it. Now when's a good time for you to move in?"

Hope that helps.

[MagicBalls]

The next time this happens say "If you're a reptile" and then give a smirk smile or a Billy Idol grin.

I don't get it. Do lizards like sweet? Maybe I could say, "Like milk chocolate."

[Westfall]

I was called "sweet" by two girls this week, which I understand is the Kiss of Death.

Tell her "Sweet!? Do you want to taste me?"

me: oh, I don't want you to get the wrong idea, I just wanted to have lunch with you, and actually, that's why I was calling. Would like to have lunch next tuesday? It's up to you.

Based on my humble understanding of ASF, "I'm going to this really cool place for lunch next tuesday--you'd love it. Want to tag along?" might work better

her: no, I have a boyfriend, and actually I shouldn't have given out my number, I usually don't do that.

When a girl says something like this, I agree with her, then reframe the situation. Something like:

MB: You're right. You shouldn't have...but you wanted to and you needed to. I'll give you a call when I'm not busy--and LEAVE.

WF

[Midnight]

keep in mind the 'boyfriend' sometimes truly doesn't exist and is part of her "shield". you had her attraction when you met but never build comfort. so when you call her later she doesn't have the attraction and doesn't really know you are feels uncomfortable -- so boyfriend is the easy out without hurting feelings. that is why digits are really just pie in the sky and why you need comfort and time bridge (or ideally venue change and insta-date).

a good tip for when you call. do NOT ask to meet for lunch! say, well, i'm about to go grab a bite, i'm meeting a friend and after i'm going to XXX, it's really good. you should come by and meet me (you may even want to delay asking her to meet you. tell her about your plans, then don't invite her until a few minutes later, it's a tease in a way). this strategy, as WF mentioned, takes the pressure off of her, and makes you seem indifferent if she goes or not (DHV)

and I love to say something if she hesitates, something immediately like, "listen, meeting out is better anyway, it will be quick, and if you turn out to be really creepy i can tell you i have to go wash my hair and i can sneak off." this totally reframes the situation and builds comfort. good stuff.

and good pointers WF...

[NobodyUKnow]

The phone number should merely be a receipt for plans already made, not a stairway to heaven.

"Hey, we're going to X next week... you should SO go with us... great! (hold out cellphone) here... punch in your number #... now call it ("So you know it's me when I call u... I hate having "unknowns" call me")... send a text a few minutes later... "It's me... SMILE... in fact smile every time I text you. Get her associating you=smiling.