Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
The 4 month mark
21 posts
• Page 2 of 3 • 1, 2, 3
by Guest » Mon May 02, 2011 10:21 am
It's possible. But I don't think it will ever be more than a social relationship. I don't think you'll ever get the traditional relationship you want.
I would love to be wrong on this though.
Edit**
I wanted to add, that what you are talking about is part of being a man of quality and virtue. Knowing what you want, damning the torpedoes and going full steam ahead. If that's what you want then you need to pursue it with all vigor.
I would love to be wrong on this though.
Edit**
I wanted to add, that what you are talking about is part of being a man of quality and virtue. Knowing what you want, damning the torpedoes and going full steam ahead. If that's what you want then you need to pursue it with all vigor.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon May 02, 2011 10:44 am
I posted something similar to this here:
[URL]http://www.dallaslair.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6332[/URL]
And, yes, it sounds like value is what is needed to have healthy, awesome, successful relationships but I'm not sure it's enough. Will it keep a woman around? I don't know. I'd like to think so. But, I'm just not sure it's as simple as 'be high value/status.' At some point, things are out of your control. I think you build value for you and for you alone. Doing it for someone else just doesn't seem right. Your values are misplaced if you build value for anyone besides you.
I had a 3 year LTR (if you want to call it that) end just a few months ago. The relationship played out exactly the way I expected it would and, although I am saddened that she's no longer in my life, I'm not in any way surprised at how things turned out.
My understanding is that she left to be with another man that was more willing to provide her and her son with the things that she believed she needs to be happy and fulfilled in life. You talk about value well, compared to this guy, I have WAY more value than he does. I'm highly educated, own my own place, have a good career paying nice scratch, confident, capable, intelligent, about 4 inches TALLER, more muscular, etc. She moved in with this guy about 2 - 3 weeks after she left me so she had him ready and 'primed' (but that's her pattern, she left her husband to move in with another guy, left that guy to try again with her husband, left him to be with me, and left me to be with this new guy...it's HER pattern, HER choices, HER flaws).
Anyway, this 'new' guy has a dead end job, makes very little money (and quite a bit of it I'm sure goes to pay child support), lives in a sketchy part of town, and has a long history of drug, domestic violence, and general criminal activity. The guy's on a three year probation right now and is basically one mistake away from jail time. So, I don't think it has much of anything to do with the value I possess or with that which he possesses. Instead, I think it has to do with the traits that SHE values. Maybe he's really good with kids, she has one. Maybe he's got a really strong sense of family, she desperately wants one. Maybe he's willing play the role of beta provider. Maybe she and he share more of the same interests. Maybe she got tired of waiting for a guy that was way out of her league to commit to her and decided to settle for a guy that's more on 'her level.' Maybe this guy was/is just super Alpha (as criminals tend to be). I don't know and I never will.
What I do know is that it is about HER and HER alone. She justifies her decisions by saying that she just wants to be happy. We all want to be happy right? Sure, we do. But, at what cost? In her case, it's dragging her poor little boy around from man to man as she rides the cock carousel. He's paying the cost for her selfishness all under the guise of happiness. Of all of the things that upset me the absolute most about her and our LTR wasn't that she left for another, that she left at all, or any of that shit. No, I'm most upset that she's so selfish and short sighted as to drag her little boy around that way. Exposing him to unsavory characters and introducing men in his life that she barely knows, this is what pisses me off and makes me very sad. He and I didn't have a relationship to speak of. He was just an intolerable little shit to be around, poorly behaved, no discipline, no respect, etc. I would never have been with her because of him, which I find to be so ironic. The reason I never committed fully to her was because of him and he's the reason I'm saddened about how things turned out. I feel sorry for him. Truly I do. He's a shit, but fuck he deserves to have a mother that isn't so fucking selfish.
My point is this: when it comes to women and their 'romantic' decisions you have to understand that they make all of their decisions based on one thing. How does this feel? Women are incapable of making rational, sound judgements and decisions because their mind is clouded too much by the gravity of emotion. I don't think your girl left you because you lacked value or because you weren't Alpha enough or because you didn't Game her right or any of that shit. Most likely it comes down to this one question that she asked herself: am I happy? Clearly, the answer was no. The why part of the question is not important and has nothing to do with you. Most likely there is no 'reason' why she left. Most likely she couldn't articulate what you were lacking, what she wanted more of/less of, etc. She simply hid behind the vail of being 'unhappy,' of you not fitting together, of it not feeling 'right.'
I'm seeing a girl right now and I can tell you with 99% confidence that we will not last much longer. I enjoy her company and she's fun and cool. But, I can do better. The difference between me and a woman is that I can tell you specifically what it is that she's lacking and what I need from her to want her to stay around. Almost no women on the planet will be able to do the same about a man. They're just so fucking entitled and selfish to not understand what they're working with. They're children. They do what makes them happy without any regard to the consequences of their decisions. They destroy lives, their own, their children, and the lives of various men, and they don't give two shits because they deserve to be happy.
So, it's not about value. It's not about Game. It's not about Alpha, Beta, Omega, etc. They make relationships 100% about THEM. Everything is centered around them and how they feel. The other day I didn't want to fuck my lady. I was fucking tired and I just wanted to go to sleep. Did she ask if I was okay? Nope. She asked if it was something wrong with her. If the roles were reversed I would have asked (or at least thought, probably wouldn't have asked) if she was okay. I would have been concerned that something was wrong with her. I know it's not me. And, if it is, that's okay. I'm a man and can deal with it. Maybe I put on some lbs, needed to take a shower, I don't know. My point is that men can handle these things. We understand that life is not all about US. Relationships are not all about US (or at least they SHOULDN'T be). This is the NATURAL ORDER of things. Protectors, providers, leaders. Those are the roles men play. We solve problems and use logic. We get shit done.
But, women have become infected by feminism. Everything is now about being happy. About experiencing pleasure. Damn the consequences. I'm a hot bitch and my pussy's made of gold so I DESERVE to be treated like a princess. To have men swoon over me. To get what I want when I want it because I'm a hot piece of ass. I deserve to be happy and damn the consequences to my decisions. If people get hurt along the way then that's too bad. I deserve to be happy. The infected woman is fucking ruthless and careless with the hearts and lives of those around them.
How does a man combat such a dynamic? Game? Mimicking the behavior of Alpha males? Turning your back on women? Creating as much value as possible? I don't know.
But, I do know this:
[LIST]
[*]I want to have as much value as I possibly can possess as a man. Not to attract women but because I believe in living a life based on accomplishment and life experiences.
[*]I want to have an orderly, functional life and attitude.
[*]I want to have control of my attitude and my emotions instead of allowing them to control me.
[*]I want to love and care for a worthy woman but if I do not I will make sure that my heart is full of friends, family, hobbies, passions, etc.
[*]I want to craft a core set of beliefs, principles, and values and live my life staying true to those core beliefs. I'd rather die poor and alone with the knowledge that I lived my life with integrity than to violate my integrity for the conveniences of security.
[/LIST]In short, my life exists for me to live. Period. And, I'm going to do so. Women will come and go. If I'm lucky I'll meet one that's worthy of my value and status as a man. The key is to live your life the same way regardless of whether or not a woman is present. All of the above things that I stated will still exist and drive my life and be the basis for my decisions regardless of whether a woman is in my life or not. And, if she ever demands, expects, or requires that I violate my integrity in any way then she can walk out that door. Being a man of virtue and integrity, living a principled life is more important than a woman. Love is fleeting, integrity is a rock.
I've been reading this ebook (link below), I'm about 2/3rds through the book and it makes a lot of sense to me. Give it a read, I have a feeling you'll enjoy it.
[URL]http://www.manhood101.com/[/URL]
Good luck to you man.
[URL]http://www.dallaslair.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6332[/URL]
And, yes, it sounds like value is what is needed to have healthy, awesome, successful relationships but I'm not sure it's enough. Will it keep a woman around? I don't know. I'd like to think so. But, I'm just not sure it's as simple as 'be high value/status.' At some point, things are out of your control. I think you build value for you and for you alone. Doing it for someone else just doesn't seem right. Your values are misplaced if you build value for anyone besides you.
I had a 3 year LTR (if you want to call it that) end just a few months ago. The relationship played out exactly the way I expected it would and, although I am saddened that she's no longer in my life, I'm not in any way surprised at how things turned out.
My understanding is that she left to be with another man that was more willing to provide her and her son with the things that she believed she needs to be happy and fulfilled in life. You talk about value well, compared to this guy, I have WAY more value than he does. I'm highly educated, own my own place, have a good career paying nice scratch, confident, capable, intelligent, about 4 inches TALLER, more muscular, etc. She moved in with this guy about 2 - 3 weeks after she left me so she had him ready and 'primed' (but that's her pattern, she left her husband to move in with another guy, left that guy to try again with her husband, left him to be with me, and left me to be with this new guy...it's HER pattern, HER choices, HER flaws).
Anyway, this 'new' guy has a dead end job, makes very little money (and quite a bit of it I'm sure goes to pay child support), lives in a sketchy part of town, and has a long history of drug, domestic violence, and general criminal activity. The guy's on a three year probation right now and is basically one mistake away from jail time. So, I don't think it has much of anything to do with the value I possess or with that which he possesses. Instead, I think it has to do with the traits that SHE values. Maybe he's really good with kids, she has one. Maybe he's got a really strong sense of family, she desperately wants one. Maybe he's willing play the role of beta provider. Maybe she and he share more of the same interests. Maybe she got tired of waiting for a guy that was way out of her league to commit to her and decided to settle for a guy that's more on 'her level.' Maybe this guy was/is just super Alpha (as criminals tend to be). I don't know and I never will.
What I do know is that it is about HER and HER alone. She justifies her decisions by saying that she just wants to be happy. We all want to be happy right? Sure, we do. But, at what cost? In her case, it's dragging her poor little boy around from man to man as she rides the cock carousel. He's paying the cost for her selfishness all under the guise of happiness. Of all of the things that upset me the absolute most about her and our LTR wasn't that she left for another, that she left at all, or any of that shit. No, I'm most upset that she's so selfish and short sighted as to drag her little boy around that way. Exposing him to unsavory characters and introducing men in his life that she barely knows, this is what pisses me off and makes me very sad. He and I didn't have a relationship to speak of. He was just an intolerable little shit to be around, poorly behaved, no discipline, no respect, etc. I would never have been with her because of him, which I find to be so ironic. The reason I never committed fully to her was because of him and he's the reason I'm saddened about how things turned out. I feel sorry for him. Truly I do. He's a shit, but fuck he deserves to have a mother that isn't so fucking selfish.
My point is this: when it comes to women and their 'romantic' decisions you have to understand that they make all of their decisions based on one thing. How does this feel? Women are incapable of making rational, sound judgements and decisions because their mind is clouded too much by the gravity of emotion. I don't think your girl left you because you lacked value or because you weren't Alpha enough or because you didn't Game her right or any of that shit. Most likely it comes down to this one question that she asked herself: am I happy? Clearly, the answer was no. The why part of the question is not important and has nothing to do with you. Most likely there is no 'reason' why she left. Most likely she couldn't articulate what you were lacking, what she wanted more of/less of, etc. She simply hid behind the vail of being 'unhappy,' of you not fitting together, of it not feeling 'right.'
I'm seeing a girl right now and I can tell you with 99% confidence that we will not last much longer. I enjoy her company and she's fun and cool. But, I can do better. The difference between me and a woman is that I can tell you specifically what it is that she's lacking and what I need from her to want her to stay around. Almost no women on the planet will be able to do the same about a man. They're just so fucking entitled and selfish to not understand what they're working with. They're children. They do what makes them happy without any regard to the consequences of their decisions. They destroy lives, their own, their children, and the lives of various men, and they don't give two shits because they deserve to be happy.
So, it's not about value. It's not about Game. It's not about Alpha, Beta, Omega, etc. They make relationships 100% about THEM. Everything is centered around them and how they feel. The other day I didn't want to fuck my lady. I was fucking tired and I just wanted to go to sleep. Did she ask if I was okay? Nope. She asked if it was something wrong with her. If the roles were reversed I would have asked (or at least thought, probably wouldn't have asked) if she was okay. I would have been concerned that something was wrong with her. I know it's not me. And, if it is, that's okay. I'm a man and can deal with it. Maybe I put on some lbs, needed to take a shower, I don't know. My point is that men can handle these things. We understand that life is not all about US. Relationships are not all about US (or at least they SHOULDN'T be). This is the NATURAL ORDER of things. Protectors, providers, leaders. Those are the roles men play. We solve problems and use logic. We get shit done.
But, women have become infected by feminism. Everything is now about being happy. About experiencing pleasure. Damn the consequences. I'm a hot bitch and my pussy's made of gold so I DESERVE to be treated like a princess. To have men swoon over me. To get what I want when I want it because I'm a hot piece of ass. I deserve to be happy and damn the consequences to my decisions. If people get hurt along the way then that's too bad. I deserve to be happy. The infected woman is fucking ruthless and careless with the hearts and lives of those around them.
How does a man combat such a dynamic? Game? Mimicking the behavior of Alpha males? Turning your back on women? Creating as much value as possible? I don't know.
But, I do know this:
[LIST]
[*]I want to have as much value as I possibly can possess as a man. Not to attract women but because I believe in living a life based on accomplishment and life experiences.
[*]I want to have an orderly, functional life and attitude.
[*]I want to have control of my attitude and my emotions instead of allowing them to control me.
[*]I want to love and care for a worthy woman but if I do not I will make sure that my heart is full of friends, family, hobbies, passions, etc.
[*]I want to craft a core set of beliefs, principles, and values and live my life staying true to those core beliefs. I'd rather die poor and alone with the knowledge that I lived my life with integrity than to violate my integrity for the conveniences of security.
[/LIST]In short, my life exists for me to live. Period. And, I'm going to do so. Women will come and go. If I'm lucky I'll meet one that's worthy of my value and status as a man. The key is to live your life the same way regardless of whether or not a woman is present. All of the above things that I stated will still exist and drive my life and be the basis for my decisions regardless of whether a woman is in my life or not. And, if she ever demands, expects, or requires that I violate my integrity in any way then she can walk out that door. Being a man of virtue and integrity, living a principled life is more important than a woman. Love is fleeting, integrity is a rock.
I've been reading this ebook (link below), I'm about 2/3rds through the book and it makes a lot of sense to me. Give it a read, I have a feeling you'll enjoy it.
[URL]http://www.manhood101.com/[/URL]
Good luck to you man.
- Guest
- Guest
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