Negative social proof

[Guest]

is this possible to overcome? Like for instance i did this douche bag thing because this girls were being complete shit heads in my group, so i took it upon myself to be a dick back. I did not do this right away, they kept on going and I just got sick and tired of their bull shit(did it for a month CONSISTENTLY). So I told them that they can either change the way they are treating the rest of the group or I would refuse to turn in the project.

I did this to not only get the them to stop but I also did it to help the other girl who they treated like shit. Except she black mailed me and said that if I did not turn it in, she was gonna tell the teacher. I turned it in.


Is there anyway to turn this into a positive situation?

[Guest]

I think time might heal this.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=maenad;40899]is this possible to overcome? Like for instance i did this douche bag thing because this girls were being complete shit heads in my group, so i took it upon myself to be a dick back. I did not do this right away, they kept on going and I just got sick and tired of their bull shit(did it for a month CONSISTENTLY). So I told them that they can either change the way they are treating the rest of the group or I would refuse to turn in the project.

I did this to not only get the them to stop but I also did it to help the other girl who they treated like shit. Except she black mailed me and said that if I did not turn it in, she was gonna tell the teacher. I turned it in.


Is there anyway to turn this into a positive situation?[/QUOTE]

first off, i dont think this is an example of negative social proof. an example of negative social proof is hanging out with someone who is perceived as lower value than you at a pretentious club. for example, the popular hs quarterback hanging out with a nerd; this would be negative social proof for the quarterback because it would lower his value.

as for this situation, im not sure what you can do besides cooperating with the group and just continue to carry your own weight on the project. dont be an ass to them but you dont have to be nice either. just be respectful and cordial and do your work. be the bigger person and be mature about the whole thing.

as for the nice girl, if you want to help her, stand up to the other girls and tell them not to treat her like shit--instead of saying that you wouldnt turn in the project..

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Prodigy;40902]as for the nice girl, if you want to help her, stand up to the other girls and tell them not to treat her like shit--instead of saying that you wouldnt turn in the project..[/QUOTE]


Prodigy is correct. You have the chance to be the White Knight here, the protector of loved ones. This can be a super Alpha role if you play that card with the rest of the group and defend the girl being treated poorly. The key is to act as if you stood up to the group because you didn't believe they should treat ANYONE that way, not just her. Don't make it about her. Make it about the treatment by the others. This way you don't appear to be a supplicating Beta. Example:

Maenad: "You guys need to stop treating people the way you treat this girl. No one deserves to be treated so shitty. We're all in this together and we need to treat each other with some minimal level of respect...even if we don't like each other."

Not turning in the project would have harmed everyone in the group. And would have made you look like the bad guy. Plus anyways, why hurt the innocent girl in the group?

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;40903]Prodigy is correct. You have the chance to be the White Knight here, the protector of loved ones. This can be a super Alpha role if you play that card with the rest of the group and defend the girl being treated poorly. The key is to act as if you stood up to the group because you didn't believe they should treat ANYONE that way, not just her. Don't make it about her. Make it about the treatment by the others. This way you don't appear to be a supplicating Beta. Example:

Maenad: "You guys need to stop treating people the way you treat this girl. No one deserves to be treated so shitty. We're all in this together and we need to treat each other with some minimal level of respect...even if we don't like each other."

Not turning in the project would have harmed everyone in the group. And would have made you look like the bad guy. Plus anyways, why hurt the innocent girl in the group?[/QUOTE]

I told them that I was sick and tired of there stuff. My intention was also to cover the good girl(who screwed me) and my own ass. My whole entire life Ive protected those that matter to me. I remember getting into a fight with this kid when i was younger because he called my friend the N word and was hitting him. Ive been doing this my whole life, protecting friends, family and the under dog alike. Also I'm aware of how I looked and its probably the reason why she black mailed me plus shes a dumb ass to considering that she almost got kicked out of college for grades.

What was really weird a little after that. I think it was a month she acted like nothing happened. What a Bitch......