just wondering

Open PUA discussion

Postby Guest » Thu Apr 07, 2011 2:18 pm

[QUOTE=Prodigy;40864]I will invest fully into each relationship I have with high quality, high value woman moving forward. I think that that’s the only way to have a truly meaningful relationship. If you’re always holding back, you’ll never really experience the full potential of what the relationship can be...[/QUOTE]


I agree 100% and it was the point I was trying to ultimately get at. When you decide to love a woman, love her. Period. End of story. BUT, do not devote all of your heart, passion, and energies to her and her alone. A person should never devote their entire energies to just one thing.

Also, understand that there are different types of love. People tend to forget that. They tend to think that love is love and that's that.

Wrong.

In Ancient Greece, they identitfied 5 different types of love:

Agape -- this is meant to represent an ideal type of love, something that transcends the physical. This is the highest and purest type of love and is generally used to refer to the love one holds for a God or set of beliefs.

Eros -- is passionate love. This is the what we normally think of when we tell a girl that we love them.

Philia -- is a dispassionate, virtuous love. It includes loyalty to friends, family, community, etc.

Storge -- is natural affection like that felt between brother and sister and parent and child.

Xenia -- is hospitality.

You see, not all love is created equal. There are different types for different things. The issue that people have today is that they don't understand that you can love other people in different ways and still have a great, passionate love for your significant other. This is what I'm referring to when I say carve out parts of your heart, passion, and energy to devote to worthy causes. Don't spend all of your capacity to love on eros or storge or philia, etc. Spread that shit around.

If focus your attentions on other things, besides just eros, then if your relationship does flounder and fail you'll certainly be hurt, but you won't be broken. You didn't spend all of your emotional capital focusing on one type of love, even though women WANT all of our love to validate them and to make them feel more secure that you won't leave her. This is when men get hurt, this is when men become broken and jaded...they, wrongly, believed that all of their love and passion had to be channeled through the eros category when, in fact, they have every right to love other things and people in different ways. That's what I meant by carving out parts of your heart for certain things.

Devote that part 100% to what you have allocated it for, but do not increase that allocation lest you run the risk of being truly hurt...
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Postby Guest » Thu Apr 07, 2011 3:02 pm

Agreed, 100%.
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The Alpha Lifts Up Everyone Around Him

Postby Guest » Thu Apr 07, 2011 6:23 pm

This is a very interesting thread and I have to admit I never expected to see a thread running so long that considered something as deep as this...

I'll throw my two cents in...

The main thing I see with nearly every response is the belief in the "hardness of reality."

Sure, women cheat. Sure, they have baggage. Sure, there are good ones in retrospect. But, the "how things are" ideas aren't for the Alpha.

If the Alpha wants a truly quality woman, one he has envisioned and imagines creating a good future with, he finds one with the basic ingredients and then stands strong and creates it.

He lets her know what he is trying to create. He lets her know the Goal of The New Game they are creating. He tells her the Rules and invites her to be his number one teammate.

Are all teammates perfect?

No.

In fact, perfection is only identified in retrospect.

The Alpha lifts up everyone around him. A person can become a much better person when someone lets them know they expect it of them, that they can do it and that they are going to create an amazing future.

She will LIVE INTO your expectations.

Captain Jack
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Postby Guest » Thu Apr 07, 2011 11:18 pm

Excellent thread. I'm going to throw in my scattered thoughts here.

I will start off by saying that quality women absolutely do exist. In fact, they exist in abundance. The downside is that they do not exist in America. A woman will behave the way she thinks she is expected to behave. In America she is expected to behave, for lack of a better word, like a feminist. In other words, completely unmarriable. To find a quality woman just look at a culture that expects women to behave with virtue and modesty. A family oriented, unapologetically patriarchal culture.

Here is my personal list of must haves for a potential wife:

Virgin - The thought of having a wife that has had other Men's dicks in her mouth is unacceptable. Your wife should only ever know your touch. If she does not keep her virtue until marriage she is not suitable for marriage. She is suitable to have fun with, even a long term relationship but never marriage. She will not know how to be a good wife. Every culture in the world , at one time or another, values virginity amongst brides before all else. Forget the nonsense about having a good education and being "independent" all men want a virgin bride, whether admitted or not. All the nincompoops that say "whatever a girl did before she met me is irrelevant" are unknowingly spouting stupid feminist propaganda. What she did before she met you is an absolutely relevant indicator of her character (for lack of a better word).

Strong family values - If she comes from a divorced family marriage is out of the question. The lack of a father always manifests in unacceptable behavior. In the best scenario she will live with her parents until she is married. Again, the is not just a personal preference, this is a worldwide preference.

Around 25 years of age - A 30 year old single woman usually has something wrong with her if she was unable to marry at a younger age. She is now a leftover.

Beauty - Obviously she has to be attractive.

Fit and petite - This is just a personal preference.

Can cook and clean without complaint - If she can't cook and clean without complaining she is unfit to be a wife. This value is expected in most parts of the world.

Pleasant personality - Duh.

Most of those are pre-requisites for a woman to get married in many places of the world but are impossible to find in America. I have never found a girl like that in America. And I have had tons of girls. I moved to China and I met that exact girl my 3rd day here. They do exist, they're easy to find IF you put in the work to find one. It may be possible to find a girl like that somewhere in America, I would say it is impossible to find her in any big city.

I have been thinking of the above list of traits for a number of years now. I knew exactly what type of girl I wanted. If you are looking for a quality girl you should define exactly what quality means to you and fix it firmly in your mind. Eventually you will find one who meets your description and then you can just scoop her up. There is zero doubt in my mind that I will marry a girl that fits the exact above description. It is a done deal, it has already happened at some point in the future.

Side note: Marrying for love or beauty is tomfoolery that is destined for failure. What is left after her beauty fades and she has none of the quality traits needed for a wife? What happens after the infatuation you call love fades? Look at the divorce statistics for the answer. If she has all the qualities you seek then you will grow to love her. You cannot truly, deeply love someone you have not spent significant amounts of time with. Years, not months.
Guest
 

Postby Guest » Fri Apr 08, 2011 3:39 pm

Great thread.

Normally when people say they don't think there are any good ones out there, my reaction is that they're looking at the wrong girls in the wrong places. Actually I should credit Playercool because he initially gave me that advice.

I say sometimes we just need to shake things up. If nothing else, to keep things interesting and give yourself new perspective. If you do the same thing over and over, you get in to a "groove." After a while, a groove becomes a rut.

Expand yourself.

The world is full of amazing people - if you venture out of your comfort zone. Even if it means doing the same things, just in a different way, you'll gain a lot.

Don't meet women on the internet anymore, try a different approach. Try changing up your "type." Whatever. I'm 100% sure you'll find women out there who will dazzle you, if you can un-block your own mind a little bit.
Guest
 

Postby Guest » Fri Apr 08, 2011 7:39 pm

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]I was wondering when someone was going to say that you just need to be Alpha. That being Alpha is all that matters, that telling a girl what you expect from her is all she needs to remain faithful and loyal. The reason I was waiting for this response was because that would have been my response a year ago, shit maybe just a few months ago:[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Bull Run circa 2010’s response to thread:[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Pssh. You guys just need to man up and be Alpha. Tell her what you want and expect from her and make her comply with those demands. Women want to please men, let her do so. But, in order for that to happen, she has to respect you and in order for her to do that, you have to be Alpha.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Yeah, that’s bullshit man. It’s such a simplistic view of the world and one that I would expect from the Community with our tunnel vision and all.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]I think of all of the Alpha males I know and I can’t tell you if any of them actually do anything. Myself included. This country, Western civilization, was built on the backs of the labor of Beta males doing what Alpha males told them to do. But, Alpha males don’t really DO anything other than intimidate, remain confident, and lead. That’s all. We have no real skills. Everyone else is doing our bidding. And, that makes for a pretty boring individual. Sure, power is attractive to women BUT it gets boring after a while without some depth.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Being Alpha isn’t the answer. It’s part of the answer but not the entire answer. Many of the guys on the boards hung out with me and my ex-LTR on several occasions. They got to know her pretty well actually. And, I’m sure they would say that I was pretty fucking Alpha with her. On time in particular I remember she interrupted playercool while he was talking. I turned to her and said you interrupted playercool, apologize to him. She did. Then, I turned to playercool and said finish your story. She didn’t question my request AND she even apologized to ME for making ME look bad in front of MY friends because I had a RUDE girlfriend.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]So, for 3 long years I was super fucking Alpha with this chick. But, at some point, it just wasn’t enough. Did she get tired of waiting for me to commit to her and her son? Did she meet a MORE Alpha guy? Did she meet a guy that was willing to give her the commitment that I refused to give? Hard to say, but knowing what I know about this guy I can say that it was, most likely, the last of the three. She got tired of me not giving her what she wanted so she jumped ship. Being Alpha meant nothing at that point. Sure, it kept her around for a long time but, ultimately, it didn’t make a goddamn bit of difference.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Now, understand that I’m cool with her going it was time AND it was never going to work anyway but I realize now that life is not lived in the black and white. Attraction, affection, and love occurs in the gray areas of life. What I’ve come to realize is that being Alpha is REQUIRED but it is not the only requirement. You also have to be a person of depth and value. I’ve met plenty of Alpha males that can pull a chick and keep her around for a few weeks/months until she realizes that all he has is his Alphaness.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Let her live in your reality is important but it’s not the answer and, actually, I find it to be a very, very dangerous answer because guys, like myself at one point, will think that all you need is Game to keep a woman of value interested, intrigued, and in love. Sure, maybe it works on the lower value women, but it will not work on higher value women.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Remember, we’re pick up artists. Our specialty is to create and generate attraction and interest, which is a valuable tool to have during a relationship but it’s hardly the answer. There’s so much more to it than that. Be Alpha, definitely. But, be interesting, have passions, continue growing as a man, and cultivate as much depth as possible.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]As for the hardness of reality, reality is hard on occasion. If you live your life without at least understanding and respecting that dynamic then you’re living in a fantasy land. To think that women only require a man to be Alpha isn’t denying the hardness of reality, it’s denying reality altogether.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Grimm, you're absolutely right my friend. Do what you've always done, get what you've always got. That's goddamn right my friend.[/SIZE][/FONT]
Guest
 

Postby Guest » Sat Apr 09, 2011 2:07 am

I don't know about you guys but a large part of me thinks that the person who wants to settle down with the perfect girl is caught somewhere between 1950 and 2011.

A woman has choices in todays society. She doesn't have to be obedient and act proper for her man like she did in 1950. Its so easy today with technology to have relationships on the side and the temptation is great for many. A woman with multiple partners isn't frowned upon like she was in 1950. Its acceptable to have children out of wedlock. Marriage doesn't mean shit in 2011. People don't live their life according to the bible like they did years ago. More people are waiting to get married if they even do. People are putting off having kids until their 30s. It all boils down to a woman simply doesn't need a man supporting her in 2011 and couple that with the fact that most females lack a lot of integrity and loyalty.

Now there is a group of women that I see all over these dating sites that are having a tough time making it with out a man but they aren't smart enough to value a good thing when they do see it. They are the single moms with a couple kids & baby daddies who don't pay child support, no education, no career, live paycheck to paycheck, etc. They come from divorced parents who lack relationship/social skills and they do as well. Just take a look at some of these hookers profiles. They've made poor choices and struggle to get out of the vicious cycle they barely function in. They see no way out other than thru a guy that can sweep them off their feet. Most of us have fucked these girls, but I'll bet most of the more alpha ones refused to give them a long term future. So over time many guys come and go and she ends up with deep mental issues regarding men.

The type of woman I don't see on the dating sites in large are women who have their shit together with little baggage. I dated one a few years ago. Decent looking HB7, good career, in control of her emotions, educated, home owner, unlikely to cheat, very easy to communicate with. But she didn't fuck like a pornstar, never created the slightest bit of drama, she didn't dress to attract attention. She was almost too boring and couldn't hold my interest although I think she is a great person.

Definitely being "alpha" is not enough. You can be alpha all you want and there will likely be some needs she has that aren't being met. Well guess what, she'll march right out of your life and into someone elses to get them met. You can't control someone forever, even an alpha like Hitler lost control in the end.

I don't have the answers but if you guys get it figured out let me know.
Guest
 

Postby Guest » Sat Apr 09, 2011 10:53 am

i think that women have always had the propensity to be unloyal, even in the 1950's. the only difference is that if she cheated and got caught, she would have to face extreme shame and criticism from her peers and/or community. as a result, she didnt cheat (plus if she did, she wouldnt have a way to support herself since men made all the money back then).

i am one to believe that humans are promicuous by nature. we are not like penguins or other species of animals where they only have one lifetime partner. we are biologically designed (men at least) to impregnate and spread our seed as far and as often as possible. it is very tough for people to control their animalistic urges, that is why women are vulnerable to game and why people cheat.

as for the perfect girl (for me), i dont think she exists in america. i belive in male and female gender roles. i want a wife that is going to stay home, tend to the kids and be a great mother. unfortunately in america, there arent many women like that anymore (unless you venture to rural america). the typical woman today has been brainwashed to believe in feminist ideals and that there is more to life than just being a housemom.

while i believe that women should pursue whatever makes them happy, they have to understand that feminist beliefs conflict with traditional family dynamics. it is very difficult to manage a career, and maintain the duties of a wife and mother.

because of this, most people in marraiges are unhappy.

just look at the statistics. divorce in america is roughly 50%. distill that further and you will realize that a large portion of the other 50% are unhappy in their marraiges. thats alarming!!

what people dont realize is the breakdown of the family is whats causing all these teenagers to be complete fuckups which will become the citizens of tomorrow--this is slowly destroying america. damn you feminists!

i hate to be so pessimistic, but ive met alot of women in my lifetime; women from all walks of life. and i have to tell you that many of them do not possess the qualities that would make them a good wife and mother, and that is truly disheartening..
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