just wondering

[Guest]

For those who have entertained thougts of something more long term than what you had in your past, do you ever think the kind of girl you are looking for is so rare that she basically doesn't exist?

I can find hot girls with baggage all day long and have become an expert at it! lol, thats not something to really be proud of. Does the majority of the population come with a ton of baggage? I see it all over the dating sites.

Then I wonder about what a friend told me. He said its a trade off between stability and sexuality. By this he meant.......the hottest women aren't fit for long term success. You know there is something to be said for "balance". Girls who have used their looks to get them thru life often end up with a shallow skill set.

I suppose I could be happy just going thru life having fun with random hot girls. :p Thats the rut I seem to be in. A part of me wants more tho.

Maybe ltr's aren't really something to strive for in this day and age?? Maybe thats my conservative, old school, midwest upbringing taking over.

I just can't get excited about a girl that isn't an HB8.5 or better. And with each girl I go thru I get more selective, allow less baggage, and am less tolerant.

I just want somebody that is on my level as far as having little baggage, educated, and has some relationship skills. I don't feel I am asking for too much.

You guys run into this same shit too?

[Guest]

Hey man, it's hard not to get jaded out there bro. A lot of women just make really, really poor decisions when it comes to matters of the heart. I was with my ex-LTR for about 3 years. I remember the first night I met her and KNEW that night exactly what KIND of girl she was/is. And, I knew exactly how our relationship would play out. I would refuse to fully committ to her because of her massive amounts of baggage and hyper-gamous, highly sexual ways. Eventually, she would seek out someone else to be with and leave me for him. She actually tried this twice, the first time I successfully crushed the other guy and reframed her to keep my sex toy, party girl around (while I fucked other pussy on the side, something I did the entire time we were together). The second time, however, was just too much and I didn't fight or try to Game her back. I figure I pretty well used her up and thought I'd let her go pull her bullshit on some other poor sap.

Over the last 3 years with the ex and while fucking other tail on the side (some of whom I'd actually date for weeks on end), I learned a few things. First, the girls like my ex are just so much fun man. They're usually pretty hot/sexy, they fuck like pornstars, party like rockstars, and are generally just a blast. But, FUCK if they aren't a pain in the ass to be in a relationship with. You have to constantly Game them, they always have to be on their toes, you can't let them get comfortable or complacent with you otherwise they'll revert to their past and jet for another man (which is what all women with baggage do because their self-worth is tied up in being validated by men). Not only that, but it's hard to respect them. Sure, you can care for her as a person, which I did with the ex, but you'll never respect her and, as such, the relationship will be pretty meaningless to you. Which sucks hardcore.

Then, on the other end of the spectrum are the girls that don't have as much, or really any, baggage. But, fuck are they boring. The sex usually sucks and they like down time just as much, if not more, than having a good time. They're clingy. But, they usually require little to no Gaming. Maybe a little aloofness and occasionally ignoring her/denying her affection. You don't have to worry about these girls fucking around on you because that's just not how they think.

When I was a little bit younger, I was always dating the edgy, 'bad girl' types. The ones with baggage, the sluts, and the promiscuous girls. They were just so much fun. Sure, I got shit on a lot but that came with the territory. I would actively avoid the nicer girls.

But, after the 3 year experience with the ex and the emotional exhaustion from the constant Gaming and the ever present tension between the two of us has worn me down a bit. It was fun but Jesus was it a pain in the fucking ass and, ultimately, not worth the effort. Now, I find myself being perfectly happy with a more virtuous girl with much less baggage. Sure, it's a little boing and feels slightly domesticated but fuck if it isn't much, much easier. I'm sure this is just a temporary thing though...I'll get bored here and seek out another girl like the ex and the cycle starts again.

So, it seems to me that our plight is much the same as women. They want and are attracted to the bad boy, the uber Alpha male. But, relationships with those types of men always end in disaster and heartbreak OR they just wear you down from the constant bullshit. Eventually you seek out something more. To me, that more is peace of fucking mind.

The problem is that hot girls tend to have the most baggage because they've been around the block the most because they've had the most opportunities. The girls with the most baggage tend to have the most social savvy, best skilled sexually, and know how to use their sexuality to get what they want (which is what all of them do). The girls with baggage are the most fun, by far. But, they're the least trustworthy and require the most effort to keep them on the straight and narrow. The issue with all that effort is that you eventually grow tired, like I did, and you just say 'fuck it' and let them revert to their old ways and they walk.

I ask myself the same question all the time. I just want a girl that I find to be super hot, that's a little bit edgy, that's talented in the sack, and that has some idea of right and wrong in a relationship. No kids, no divorces (unless they were super young then I'm OK with that), no history of cheating, no history of riding the Cock Carousel, etc. I just don't think such a woman exists man but I'm going to keep on looking...

[Guest]

I'm sorry to say she doesn't exist. I too once thought she did and through trials and tribulations never found her. You can find sexy, good in bed, won't stray, has her shit together, etc, etc, but you won't find it all in one package.

The only thing you can really do is make a list of what you want in a girl. Order them from most important to least important. Figure out what is a MUST and what is a WANT. I don't know I am just rambling...the truth is I will end up a lonely man or an unhappy man, I just haven't decided which one is worse yet. Settle with a girl who is OK or just play the field until I go gray, going from one nonsensical relationship to the next.

[Guest]

[URL]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4TOR7856d4[/URL]

Marry an ugly woman, or one that's just attractive enough, then cheat on her with hotties from time to time ;)

[Guest]

I was hoping you two would reply. ;)

-You guys got me reflecting a little on my past and I'd have to say the one I was married to was probably one of the best I've ever been with. Never knew how good I had it.....I do now.

She scored high in all the categories that are important to guys like us. Few since have come close. But like PC said....[B][I]you won't find sexy, good in bed, won't stray, has her shit together all in one package.............[/I][/B]yeah she eventually strayed.

-That song about ugly women came out in 1963, not much has changed.
[B][/B]
[B][I]-"our plight is much the same as women" [/I][/B]I never thought of it that way. Maybe we're as messed up as some of these girls we go with! :D lol, just in a different way. There are several personality characteristics that lend themselves well to a lifestyle of multiple relationships with random hot & crazy women. If we are ever to escape that cycle, we'll have to change what we value.

I haven't decided what I truly want but I'll definitely make a list of what I'm looking for in the opposite sex when the time is right. Part of me says fuck it, and stay on the crazy train til the wheels come off. But I don't want be the old dude at the bar still living in the past, or that domesticated guy that thought he found Ms. Right and lost his balls in the process.

I like the freedom I have. I do what I want when I want and answer to no one. I like the adventure and never really having a plan. New girls are fucking awesome. The feeling you get when you have seduced some new girl and she's practically eating out of your hand is incredible. Its a challenge and I like to win. I control the throttle and the steering.....don't need a fucking brake to drag me down.

I'll probably end up like an old stripper.....

[Guest]

My brain was tainted with negative thoughts today. Most of these thoughts centered around my own mortality. Inside the confines of my head I kept asking myself if I would be happier to just be single or just settle down. I know the consequences of both actions. Yes, I know I said consequences because unfortunately neither, IMO, yields the utmost chance of happiness. A bit of self pity mixed in with the feeling of getting older has no doubt sharpened my senses of the future, and I don't like anything about it.

Not only do I have to consider all things a girl must possess to make me happy NOW, I have to delve into the future and decide if she will make me happy in the future. My head is so fucked up, will she gain weight, what about when she gives birth, will her body just go to shit? Will I find myself even wanting to be associated with her? I was at the store today and made witness to two atrocities. One was a woman ohhh probably in her upper 30's and she was just a fat ass cow, I mean disgusting. I just sat there and said to myself if that was my wife I would get a divorce(I don't believe in divorce). Then I saw another girl who was in her early 20's who I have seen on many occasions over the past year or two as I frequent the store. She was a very cute petite girl when I first started going there, even though I could tell her body wasn't to my liking. Over the years I noticed she started gaining weight ever so slightly. Unfortunately for her, genetics were never on her side, even though she was petite her body was never put together well. I saw her today for the first time in about a year or so and I must say I was blatantly disgusted by what I saw. She had enough back fat on her to feed a robust family of football players. It was truly sad to see and while I felt sorry for her, shame was most likely my reaction.

I have a buddy who has always been able to turn a blind eye to girl with a little, or a lot, of extra weight on her bones. I have always been envious of this guy because down the road he is going to still love his wife, and even be attracted to her. I on the other hand am going to be ungrateful, spiteful even of my future wife if she puts on even a hint of weight that doesn't mesh well with her frame. I am going to shutter at the sight of stretch marks and cellulite. The semi chub in my pants will mellow to flaccidness. My eyes will stray and my commitment will betray me. My future is attached with guilt.

Even if you find the needle in the haystack, the one in a million girl who is blessed with dynamite genetics, time her enemy, will always catch up. Winning the marital lottery, a crap shoot in futility, finding this ever so rare creature is almost impossible. Look around at any woman north of 35 and you will see not a one who makes you hungry. I fear you will grow old in this ever elusive search, and regret your missed chances for happiness with the girl who was possibly, probably, good enough.

Today, the day of many negative thoughts, allows me to see all things negative on both sides of the fence. There is no doubt in my mind I can continue the charade of chasing wool well into my upper 30's, possibly even for another decade. I would find success, lots of it, sleep with many beautiful women from all walks of life, even have some meaningful relationships. Time would pass and though these experiences would be fruitful, age the enemy would catch up. It would fill my head with rage, disappointment, anger and most importantly sorrow. Friends would come and go but mostly go entering into their own marriages and commitments. Eventually you would end up being that guy at the bar on Thanksgiving and Christmas, having no one of meaningful importance to spend your time with. Sitting at the bar, sipping your drink, wallowing in self pity.

Mr. Frost fails to tell you, although the two roads diverge, they always end up at the same place. What an asshole.

UH, it sounds to me that you are ready to find a girl and get into some sort of relationship. Unfortunately for you, and for me, and for any guy who jumps headfirst down the rabbit hole of game, this is a problem. The very things we learn to meet girls ends up being detrimental to us in the end game. Just today I wished I never learned game. Although I wouldn't have slept with many girls in my life I truly believe I would be happier. I hate having any feelings of misogyny towards women, even though I probably had a little before game, it is at an all time high right now. The best advice I can offer to you and myself is to let some things slide. You want a girl to have X? Well come down just a little and accept that 90% of X is adequate. We all must make concessions in the partners we choose, as they will do the same for us.

I once truly believed I would find the perfect girl, and I must confess a small part of me still thinks she exists. For now though compromise is in my vocabulary, often on the tip of my tongue.

Goodluck

[Guest]

Beautifully written pc.

In the end, it's all a matter of compromising. Truth is, as much as we would like to believe, there is NO perfect girl out there. Each and every girl has imperfections or things you don't like about them, but the question is, does she make you happy enough (or brings enough value to the relationship) that you can overlook these flaws?

Some girls yes, most girls no.

One can argue that we should never settle, but if she makes yo the happiest you've ever been, even for a brief time, is that REALLY settling?

I don't think it is.

Like you pc, a huge part of me wishes I did not learn game. It's shown me the truths about most women and why they act the way they do. And, it's depressing. Sometimes, I wish I was oblivious of the fact....

Maybe ingnorance is blisss.... :/

[Guest]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting the last few weeks in the wake of the end of the 3 year LTR and I can’t help but wonder if I’ve created a recurring self-fulfilling prophecy with respect to the women I date. I am a misogynist, I know this without doubt and say it without hesitation. I believe women, innately, cannot afford the luxury of being virtuous, of possessing values and integrity. I think the reason for this stems back to biology and the fact that women are physically weaker than men AND because women spend an inordinate part of their lives caring for the well-being of a child. In a rough, violent world, women cannot afford the luxury of virtue and loyalty. They cannot afford the opportunity to stand up to the evils of the world, slavery, communism, fascism, etc. Obviously, there have been exceptions, but generally speaking when it comes to dying for a CAUSE it is done by men because we are not prisoners of our biology. We are strong, analytical, capable, and are not required to rear children (just produce them). We are free to devote ourselves to ideals and we have throughout history. Women are prisoners to convenience and security.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]You may say to yourself that I’m full of shit. That I’ve gone off the deep end. But, consider this story. A long time ago, an Alpha male took a liking to a beautiful, married woman from another tribe. He wanted her so he took her by killing her husband and kidnapping her. Now, the woman has two choices 1) she can deny the new Alpha male her body (which he will inevitably take anyways) and stay loyal to the memory of her since dead husband OR 2) she can let go of the memory of her fallen husband and become a good wife to the new man. Which do you think most women in today’s society would do?[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]A[/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3] woman with a strong religious background would most likely remain loyal to her husband but most women in the America do not have a strong religious background. I would contend that without that institution and its forced morality, that pretty much every woman on Earth would pick the second choice. Betray her integrity and the memory of her dead husband and submit to the will of the new man. In fact, it’s a smart reproductive strategy. This did happen at one point in history, the woman submitted to the new man’s will and she eventually gave birth to Genghis Khan. It is estimated that she has well over 16 million descendants.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]I’m not saying women are immoral, instead I’m saying that they’re amoral. They do not have the luxury of things like loyalty, virtue, and integrity. They’re practical because they have to be so. This lends itself to women engaging in actions like that of my ex-LTR: riding the Cock Carousel, leaving one man for another, etc.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]So, let’s get back to the self-fulfilling prophecy that I mentioned earlier. I innately believe that a woman cannot be trusted fully. I’ve taken the She Wants Revenge, which is my favorite band, approach to relationships.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]“How can I trust you? How could you need me now?[/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Its getting to be so cold, old[/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]The decision is in that I won't break[/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]You cut and you run with our lives at stake[/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Well, someone might get hurt and it won't be me[/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]The decision is in there will be no fight[/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]It might sound cold but I know it’s right[/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]'Cause someone must get hurt and it won't be me”[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Yep, someone must get hurt and it won’t be me. So, I meet a girl, I find out about her past and I make a choice. How much will I let her in? The answer is almost always very little. I carve a part of my heart out and just keep it off limits to them at all times. This is why girls tell me that I’m a hard man to love, that I’m a hard man to know, that if only I would let them in, blah, blah, blah.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]I have found that this dynamic has only been exacerbated since I’ve been in the Community. Very often, I wish that I never knew the things I now know. The truth is that I’m not a hard man to love, instead I’ve become a dangerous man to love. I have the ability to keep a girl on the hook for YEARS while still plow through dozens of other pussies behind her back without either party ever knowing about the other. But, fuck that’s an empty life, I know because I lived it.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]I’ve come to the conclusion that Game is my sole existence on this planet. I realize now that everything I do, I do for Game. And, ironically, this is the complete opposite of what Game is intended to teach us. We’re not supposed to focus our entire lives on pulling pussy. That’s supplication on the ultimate level. Frankly, I’ve grown tired of living my life for women. They’re wonderful and all but fuck it if they aren’t all pretty much empty.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]I met up with a chick last night that I pulled online. It was our first ‘date’ and I sat there the entire night listening to the various interests and hobbies she has. She, quite frankly, was a person of immense depth and, from what I could tell initially, didn’t appear to be the kind of girl that particularly liked ‘dating around.’ She hates meeting guys in bars. She’s OK with being single. She’s never been married. She’s probably never cheated, never left one guy for a different guy, and isn’t a hyper gamous slut. In fact, she once stopped seeing someone because she still had feelings for her ex and felt it was unfair to the new guy to lead him on. I doubt she knows what it’s like to have ridden the Cock Carousel. I’m sitting here thinking to myself, now this is a high value woman.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Man, was I super pumped about that…[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Until, that is, it came time for me to start talking about my interests and hobbies. Truth is I only have the one: bedding women. Yeah. There was a time, before PUA, when I was an interesting person with a lot of depth. I actually had hobbies and tried new things all the time to see if I liked them and to see if they would stick. Now, I’m just a script. Sure, I can spit out some good bullshit. Sure, I can execute the right body language and make the right moves at the right time. I’ve learned all that shit. But, what’s underneath the surface? Not much.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Needless to say, I could see the attraction spark in her eyes the moment I saw her. And, it started to spike as I ran my early game routines and spit out my clever, albeit contrived, lines. She started lightly touching me and turned her body towards me. Full on and 100% open to me. But, the early game lines would only act to feed her disappointment as 15 minutes turned into an hour. Within 15 minutes I had her on the hook, by the end of the night she had jumped off because she realized that I was just a shitty product with great packaging. Talk about humbling. She left the bar and I stayed. I sat there for a few hours nursing a couple of drinks knowing that I’ve become that which I never wanted to ever be: boring.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Years ago, I wrote a post about being a man of value. I re-read it today and I’ve realized that I’ve gotten off track. Somewhere, I took a wrong a turn and stopped trying to develop that value, that depth that is truly attractive to women. But, more than that, that would make me HAPPY even if there were no women in my life.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]I think this has become one of our problems. We’re too focused on women because that’s what PU is all about. They’re too important to us. We’ve grown accustomed to validating ourselves and our worth through women and building attraction with them. They have become a crutch. Well, I’m here to say no longer.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]One cannot expect to bag a woman of high value if one does not possess high value themselves. Game is the great amplifier. It gives us an edge over normal guys. BUT, I can promise you that over time no amount of Game is ever going to be enough to keep someone interested and engaged with you. No, depth as a man will only do so. Game will keep them attracted but depth will keep them in love.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]As such, I’ve identified a handful of new hobbies that I’ve always wanted to take up but never did because I was too focused on pulling pussy:[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Symbol][SIZE=3]·[/SIZE] [/FONT][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Photography – I’m going to sign up for some classes and start getting into this…I’ve really been interested in Urban Exploration and this will be a great compliment to that hobby[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Symbol][SIZE=3]·[/SIZE] [/FONT][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Cooking – I can actually cook pretty well, but I know Central Market and Whole Foods have cooking classes that they offer in the evenings. I’m going to sign up for one and have some fun learning how to be a better cook. Being surrounded by women is just a plus.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Symbol][SIZE=3]·[/SIZE] [/FONT][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Boxing – This ties into my renewed vigor to get my physique to the place I want for it to be. Lately, I’ve been hitting the gym 8 – 10 times a week. That’s 6 days a week with a couple of double duty days thrown in the mix. But, I’ve always wanted to take up boxing so I’m going to do that three times a week.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Symbol]· [/FONT][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Improv -- I've always thought that I could do just as well at improv as those guys on stage. Well, there are workshops available that will let me prove that to myself. If I do well, then I'll develop a routine and hit up an open mic night somewhere around town. It's time to put my money where my mouth is...[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Symbol][SIZE=3]·[/SIZE] [/FONT][FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Culture and the Arts – I’m going to make a more concerted effort to go to events at the DMA, Nasher, etc. I love art, always have, I should spend more time, and money, enjoying the beauty of the world of art. Also, I’m going to check out more Independent films. I just love that shit.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]I’m going devote the time and resources I use to meet and fuck women to these exploits instead. I’ll meet women along the way, I’m sure. And, I’ll bet you that these women will have depth and value. I might hit up some of you guys to join me on some of the above.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Think of it like this. An Alpha male is concerned with quality because he thinks of himself as quality. He deserves nothing less. I’d rather have 5 quality girls to spend the remaining years of my life with than 50 mediocre girls.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]As far as relationships are concerned, I think that we all need to ask ourselves this simple question:[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Are people a prisoner to their past? Are people doomed to repeat the sins and mistakes from their past and carry those things with them into the future?[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]OR[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Can people change?[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]I’m starting to believe the latter. I’m starting to think that if I had carved out parts of my heart to devote to hobbies and undertakings worthy of a man instead of keep those parts empty, dark, and cold that my ex very likely would have changed her stripes. Understand, though that I would never have married her because of her child (I’m not going to be voluntarily cuckolded), but I want to be prepared for the next girl that comes. I think that if you give them something worth changing for, mix some high quality Game in there for good measure, and spread your love, passions, and energies to other things in your life that provide you with depth and value as a person I find it very likely that no woman would ever leave you.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Instead of holding back my passions, I’m going to spend them on other things. I’m not afraid of getting hurt, I’ve been hurt a lot in my life, it comes with the territory. But, I do think that if you’ve put yourself in a position to get hurt by a woman then you’ve devoted too much of your life, passion, and love to her, which is not a worthy undertaking for a man. No woman is worth a man’s entire devotion and heart and passion. I think that’s what we’re all really talking about here. We’re afraid to take on a woman that isn’t virtuous, of letting her in too much, and waking up one day to find out that she’s got some other dude’s cock down her throat. Someone must get hurt, someone always gets hurt.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]The way to ensure that it isn’t you, is to view women as any other hobby in your life. Sure, it may be the BEST, most important hobby but it’s not the ONLY hobby. Fill your life with passions beyond pussy and you’ll find that there’s something inside that they can’t get to, that they can’t touch. Something that’s yours and yours alone. She’ll spend her life trying to get in, trying to share that part of you but she’ll never get it…and that will keep her around and loyal. Be a man of value and depth and passion and you’ll see that even the most tainted woman will become the most virtuous woman for you. Your strength, value, and depth as a man will give her the ability to have morals and integrity. You’re the source of her virtuousness.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]And, if she does leave then you’ll be fine because you’re a man full of love and you spread it across many different parts of your life. That piece will be gone but, it will soon be replaced with the flame of another.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]I’m tired of being paralyzed with fear with respect to whether or not a woman is virtuous. Should I let her in or not? Fuck all that shit. Fill your heart with other things and let in whomever you wish to let in. But, keep parts to yourself. Sections that they can never touch…[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]Someone must get hurt and it’s not going to be me.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]That’s goddamn right…[/SIZE][/FONT]

[Guest]

Amazing, simply amazing post. I started to respond to it with some points I disagreed with and found that your arguments were so compelling that I could not hide from the hideous truth of the nature of women.

[Guest]

Epic post BR. But, I have a few cents to add...

For the past several months, and especially the past couple of days, the subject of relationships have also been on my mind. Some of you may know that I’ve recently stopped seeing a girl that I was dating and I was a little down about the fact. Truth is I liked her, regardless of her shady ways. I take full accountability for how I feel—I emoted and committed to the wrong girl and should’ve only let my feelings get involved with quality women. But through the process, I realized something...

Being hurt is not such a bad thing.

Of course you feel down, depressed and like shit for a few days (or weeks, or months), but at least you know you’re ALIVE—living! The truth is that with every relationship that you emotionally invest in, you WILL get hurt. Statistically speaking, most relationships “fail.” What matters is how you frame it. You can feel sorry for yourself that it didn’t work out, or, you can be happy that you got to create amazing memories with a cool girl. I choose the latter. Instead of dwelling on the negative, I choose to focus on the good moments—I choose to celebrate the fun times I had with her. The dinners, the movies, the time spent with each other, the sex—the moments that put a smile on my face and made me feel at ease. Those are the things I choose to remember (of course while acknowledging the fact that there just wasn’t a future with us). I do not regret letting myself get emotionally involved with her. We had some good times that trump what little discomfort I felt. In the end, it was all worth it and I’d do it all over again (definitely with better game though lol).

I think that too many people are afraid of loving someone unconditionally; always keeping someone at arms length for fear of being hurt. I’m not saying that you need to focus all your energies on her, but just loving her as much as you possibly can. Just like how you should give 100% to all of your other passions. I know that this is setting yourself up for heartbreak, but by taking that risk, you are taking a leap of faith in something that may turn out to be the most fulfilling, rewarding, amazing, loving relationship you’ve had. I don’t think you can have that kind of relationship unless you’re willing to risk it all...

I will invest fully into each relationship I have with high quality, high value woman moving forward. I think that that’s the only way to have a truly meaningful relationship. If you’re always holding back, you’ll never really experience the full potential of what the relationship can be...

/end rant