punishment and compliance

[Guest]

So the other night, I had a successful day 2. I met this chick at the BAM and we went out last Sunday night for the first time. Starbucks(bounce)park at night(bounce)my place to chill out and "watch a movie together". I escalated, one thing led to another and then some LMR. I doubled down and we went at it, then another round of LMR.

Now, since joining the community, I have come to think of this situation as a comfort issue and a compliance issue. Now in this situation, I punished her by backing way off and watching the tube, to which she responded a few minutes later by forcible pulling my attention away from the TV, in a very good way.

The lesson learned here for me was that punishment should last until compliance. However, this seems to me as if it could have gone very differently. She could have gotten pissed off and the date would have ended in a sour note instead of earth shattering orgasmic pleasure.

Which leads me to my question. With you guys having massive experience with this, I really have three questions:

1) What do you find the best way to punish is? Seems to me that withdrawling attention only can work some of the time, because you can seem like a pouting babe if you do it to much.

2) For how long do you punish? Does her compliance determine the length of the punishment? Do you only hold the state for so long and then let it go as you would a child?

3) What is the best way to end a punishment? Instantly returning her affection worked for me in the above scenario, but it seems like sometimes you would want to play it off as a slow warming, lest she think your to eager and that your punishment is a ploy.

Ideas?

[Guest]

1)Act bored.

If you act bored you are no longer pouting, you are just bored with her *insert whatever here; games, neediness, womanly ways, etc*

2) You answered your question correctly. Punishment lasts until compliance with what you want,or until you forget... which ever comes first.

3) I believe you answered it right again. Make her "work a little" but not too much or she'll get bored and move and think you're, not interested, gay, mad, blah blah. This one was hard for me... sometimes when she would eventually comply I would usually have already lost interest.

[Guest]

Excellent post Trax, I too am eager to hear what the more experienced members have to say.

For me though, when I tried to think about the scenarios where I encountered a lot of LMR they all seemed to happen when I was very early in game and trying to practice plowing or getting through this "successfully".

Once I had more confidence in myself something really did change internally and this quit being a tactic and became true indifference. I would think "This girl does not want to have sex with me... Oh well plenty of other girls do" and either leave, literally their place or coldly stop making out with them and say something like "That's cool, I understand". A few times this didn't really lead to success per say, but I didn't really care.

If you were that girl that was determined to call my bluff so to say... I was that guy that never called you again. Once I quit trying to emulate this behavior as a tactic to get laid and really took on this mindset I finally realized why it works.

1) The right way to "punish" is to act (be) indifferent

2) The right amount of time is until she complies with your reality

3) The best way to end "punishment" is to make sexy time

But punishment is not the correct term here. Ultimately she will find you more attractive for knowing what you want and sticking to your guns.

[Guest]

Well said Ram.

I've always been of the belief that LMR doesn't exist. LMR implies that the girl has made a decision to have sex with you but decides at the last second not to do so. As we all know, this NEVER happens. If a girl thinks about fucking you and you take care of the logisitics properly, then she WILL fuck you.

LMR isn't her saying to herself, "self I want to fuck him but I'm not going to for xyz reason." No, it's more or less her telling you that she's not ready to fuck you. Sure, it's possible at some point in the future, as evidenced by her physical affection towards you. BUT, she's not there yet.

Personally, I'm of the belief that LMR is handled in the field. If you ran your Game properly while you had her out and about then LMR will not be an issue. Your goal is to get her to think about fucking you, even if it's your idea. This is WHY you take girls out on dates.

I don't take a girl out on a date or bounce her from venue to venue for my health. It's not for the company, I can have as much fun rolling alone. It's not for the conversation, I have those with men. I'm only out with her to fuck her. The date is nothing more than me putting myself in a position to give her the gift of my magnificent cock and balls. To make her into turkey at Thanksgiving and inject her with my gooey goodness. That's all. That's how I think about it.

When you have that mentality, you begin to do things to head off LMR, which I'm not sure really exists. I build tons of comfort, that's the point of the date. I spend a little time with them. I talk about sex but don't talk about having sex with HER. I do so in a funny way so as to make her believe that I'm just joking. But, a 'joke' is powerful because even if it isn't serious it still illicits the same emotions as if what you said was geniune. You lead her, you touch her, you tease her, you ignore her, you reward her, etc., etc., etc.

If I get a girl back to my place, or vice versa, and she gives me LMR I literally stop what I'm doing. If she's not ready to pounce on me like Tigger on Pooh Bear then I have zero interest in fucking her. She will be boring. First rule of fucking the Bull, you have to WANT it more than anything right now.

So, Trax you did it right. If she resists just find something more interesting in the room to focus your attention on. If she tries to get your attention again just simply say "we shouldn't be doing this...this isn't a good idea" while you're doing what ever it is that's supposed to be so 'bad.' If you play that once or twice you should be able to get past her silly little game.

But, make no mistake. A woman decides to fuck you well before you ever get her back to her place. If she hasn't thought of fucking you before you get back to the venue of the fuck-a-thon then you're not getting laid. Simple as that.

My suggestion is to think of ways to get her going while you're not at the fuck venue. Get her going before you get her home and she won't say no.

[Guest]

One of my favorite things to do on a date is to walk up and kiss a girl immediately upon seeing her. It works really well for me, as if she is on a date with me she has already decided that I have passed the aesthetics test and she already has some level of attraction or interest. After I kiss her, then I can back down the escalation latter or resume at kissing because I've already kissed her and she has complied. It also communicates sexuality, hunger for her, and dominance. It's something I have tried out many times and it just works. I have not done this with all of my dates, and on those dates I do find that I struggle more to communicate sexuality. It's like there is some stress there that the kiss relieves so that you can actually enjoy yourself.

For LMR girl, I didn't kiss her immediately at the beginning of our date, so maybe that was the issue.


[QUOTE=Finesse] 1)Act bored.[/QUOTE]

I have alot of trouble acting any way. I tend to be a on or off type of guy and I struggle with wearing my thoughts on my sleeve. I'm really pretty transparent. It was pretty hard for me to just stop and watch TV. Kinda like my inner caveman was telling me to hit her over the head and rip her panties off. My logical mind saved the day, which is why I think I was successful with her.

[QUOTE=Ram]3) The best way to end "punishment" is to make sexy time[/QUOTE]

I never thought of that, but your right. Some of the best sex I have ever had has been make-up sex.

[Guest]

you can also punish by ignoring the girl, i had to do that to this one girl in my ex social circle.

[Guest]

Hey Guys, Im digging this thread back up out of the graveyard because I need some advice. I've been seeing this gamer girl over the past two months. She always complies with my reality and let's me be the man and she is my woman while we are out. She's cool and I have to admit that since my divorce, she's the first girl I've really felt anything for.

Anyway, she got me to dig out my old WoW account. I stopped playing a few years back and we've been spending time in WoW as well as IRL. We'll tonight out of the blue she snaps at me on skype while we're playing . It was something insignificant, but I do not like being snapped at. I got very pissed off very quickly. When this used to happen, I'd bark back and usually start a fight over something very stupid. However, I had an opportunity to think about my reply and I just told her I was done for tonight and logged off. Denying her my attention. I hope she will figure it out.

I don't know if any of this makes sense or not, but my question is, did I handle it correctly. I didn't tell her I was logging out because of her bad behaviour, I just did. I figure she will either figure it out or not. If not, then Im not sure what I should do besides start a fight. What would be the ideal way to handle this in the future? Does a snap deserve a snap or do you just deny the battle and walk away? As in oh look, another shiny toy! Personally I am happy with what I did tonight, but I am not sure it is the right way to amp her attraction.

[Guest]

Sometimes women snap at those they're closest with. Maybe she had a bad day, I usually consider snaps to be a pop-off valve. If it continues then you should snap back.

Edit* btw I think you did the right thing.