Making them jump through hoops.

[Guest]

[I]A girl who's attracted to you will move mountains to be with you.[/I]

I've read this common bit of wisdom on here countless times. I've even experienced it firsthand. Lately with a few girls I've been trying to game I've been hitting this roadblock in which I feel I'm suffering from either lack of attraction, or I'm making them jump through too many hoops, with this "move mountains" mantra in mind. Yes, a girl will move mountains to be with you, but at some point it's the guy who has to take the initiative and lead, right?

As an example, let me set up a recent scenario with a girl I met out at a bar, recently. I wish I still had the text messages from these interactions, but unfortunately they were deleted. Nevertheless, I'll try to piece it together as best I can.

Day 1: we were texting back and forth, I asked what she was up to that night. She told me she didn't know and might be going to [bar x], and asked me what I was up to. I told her about my awesome plans with friends and told her she could come along. She said it sounded cool, but I don't remember if she ever specifically committed to meeting up with me.

We were all supposed to meet up at a friend's place to pre-game and then go to this karaoke place that was conveniently located near her place. The problem was, my friends all decided not to go to karaoke, and that we would all go to a different bar. I told her the plans had changed, and suddenly, she seemed to lose interest, and said she was home having drinks with friends and would probably end up at [bar x] the bar she originally considered going to before.

I told her that I was with friends too, and none of them were feeling [bar x], and neither was I. She wrote back "ok"

As it turns out, we went to some random party instead that night. I had my phone on silent. When I got home I noticed she had texted me a few hours later, asking me what did I end up doing. I don't reply

Day 2: The next day, she texts to say a mutual female friend of ours is in town, and we should hang out. I wait an hour to reply. I tell her I'm working overtime and would want to hang out after work. She says okay, she's just at home drinking with this girl. After work, I text her, and she invites me over. I ask her for her address and suddenly there is a lag in the response time. She gives me the address, but says she is drunk, tired and about to pass out. I write, "Aw, that's no fun. Another time, then." She replies with "just come."

By this time, it's really late at night, and I had to be up early in the morning. I decline the invitation.

Day 3: She texts to apologize for the night before. I set up a meet up for the next night. She agrees.

Day 4: I contact her, she says she's at her parents house and will call IF she gets out soon. She never calls. I next her.

Based on what I've written, did I make this girl jump through too many hoops, or was there just not enough attraction? I feel like I've had similar problems with a couple girls lately.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Fuzz;39615]
Based on what I've written, did I make this girl jump through too many hoops, or was there just not enough attraction? I feel like I've had similar problems with a couple girls lately.[/QUOTE]

The opposite, you didn't make her jump through any hoops. You made yourself easily available to hang out.

Couple pieces of advice:

1) Don't text back and forth so much. It's a pussy dryer. Make yourself scarce.

2) Never ask if she wants to hang out. Find out what she's doing and say "I'm taking you out to so and so place" or "I'm coming over tonight after work".

[Guest]

What Lion said.

[Guest]

What should I have done differently? Radio silence for a week after day 1?

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Fuzz;39622]What should I have done differently? Radio silence for a week after day 1?[/QUOTE]

Nah. No need to follow any of those stupid 3-7 day rules. Text her whenever you feel like it. Just don't go 100 texts in a row back and forth. Your time is money, you can't waste it texting ladies all day. Use text to set shit up, not to shoot the shit. Don't be afraid to ignore some of her texts. Next time you want to see her just text her (after making sure she doesn't have other plans) that you're doing such and such. Remember, don't ask. Just tell.

[Guest]

Personally, I would never have invited her to hang out with you and your friends. A lot of girls simply will not do that on the first day2. Even then, there's too many distractions. Save the friends for later. Plus anyways, it sets the wrong frame.

One of the best ways to build attraction and intrigue and create a woman that will move mountains, as you put it, is to be mysterious. Don't introduce her to all aspects of your life. Actually, be clear that she's just a component of your life. You can do this by referring to things you did with your friends or by yourself or things you plan to do. Simple as that.

All FIRST day2s are best planned for a weekday. Don't waste a weekend on a girl you don't know that well.

As a matter of fact, I would say all girls are weekday material until after you fuck them.

If you do chose to do the meet me and friends bit do it WHILE YOU'RE OUT. This makes sure that you don't have to keep changing plans with her based on the whims of the group. Which, by the way, made you look like a tool in her eyes. It made you look like you weren't a leader. This turned her pussy into sand paper. You could have salvaged this by saying that you're going to the karaoke bar any way...with or with out your friends AND with or with out HER. She probably would have met you up there had you done that, if not it definitely would have turned her pussy into a Slip and Slide (whether you REALLY went there is of zero consequence).

Putting your phone on silence was the smartest thing you did that night. Otherwise, you would have been texted her while you were out with your friends...not good. The only time to text a girl while you're with your boys is to set up a 2am booty call OR coordinate to meet up with her that night so you can fuck her later.

The next day when she said she wanted to hang out you should have NOT made yourself available. All you had to say was I've got plans later and I'm all booked up tomorrow. But, I'm free the day after tomorrow. Let's meet up at xyz place at xyz time.

Say it like this:

Fuzz: "Sounds good. I'm busy the next few days, but let's grab an adult beverage at Capitol Pub Tuesday at 7ish..."

She'll either accept or negotiate. Act accordingly.

You talk about hoops. You gave her none. A hoop is basically a call to action. It's something you demand of her. Telling her to meet you at a specific place on a specific day at a specific time is a call to action it is a hoop. It is not a request, it is a demand. Women respond to demands. When you take your dog out do you say, "hey, puppy please use the bathroom." No. You say, "Potty." You make a demand of the dog and the dog will comply because the dog wants to please you. Women are the same.

Make definitive, strong, aggressive statements and women will comply.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;

Make definitive, strong, aggressive statements and women will comply.[/QUOTE]

in a low, deep, demanding voice, I said to her, "give me the fuckin' money!" next thing you know, the cops knees were dug deep into my back.

I guess the bank teller didn't like me very much... :/

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Prodigy;39626]in a low, deep, demanding voice, I said to her, "give me the fuckin' money!" next thing you know, the cops knees were dug deep into my back.

I guess the bank teller didn't like me very much... :/[/QUOTE]

No you just didn't say it deep enough.

[Guest]

Thanks guy. These replies have all been very helpful, and are helping me rethink my approach in a lot of ways.

[QUOTE=Lion;39624]Nah. No need to follow any of those stupid 3-7 day rules. Text her whenever you feel like it. Just don't go 100 texts in a row back and forth. Your time is money, you can't waste it texting ladies all day. Use text to set shit up, not to shoot the shit. Don't be afraid to ignore some of her texts. Next time you want to see her just text her (after making sure she doesn't have other plans) that you're doing such and such. Remember, don't ask. Just tell.[/QUOTE]

Question. Sometimes I don't have time to hang out with a girl or set up a day 2 or anything, but I will text a girl anyway just to stay on her radar until I do have time. Is this the wrong approach?

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;39625]Personally, I would never have invited her to hang out with you and your friends. A lot of girls simply will not do that on the first day2. Even then, there's too many distractions. Save the friends for later. Plus anyways, it sets the wrong frame.
[/QUOTE]

I'm curious about this. It has worked for me in the past. I already have fun plans, so tell the girl to meet up with me and tag along. Maybe I wouldn't consider it a Day 2, but more a way of getting her out on a "date" that's non-comittal, in which I can build enough comfort for a real one-on-one day 2 later.

This meet-up in particular, I was hanging out with a bunch of other girls (I don't remember if I mentioned that to her or not), and surely that would've given me pre-selection, no?