Wanted: Advice on Starting Out

[LavianOrlandu]

I've been extremely busy lately with life so I haven't been able to check the boards until recently. I got a new pad out of the deal though, so it feels like I can start fresh. And what better way to start fresh than to right my dating life?

The issue though is where to start? I've read the Game, I've been through most of the Classic PUA texts on the forum, but I haven't seen anything that would help an AFC get started. What books should I grab and start reading? What methods to employ? How to improve my inner game? Because that could use some serious work: I got das boot from my most recent girlfriend which kind of shattered my spirits and desire to get out until now.

Any help would be appreciated.

[quipster]

I would start off SLOW and get your life in check and start talking to everyone. There is WAY too much info out there which will overwhelm you, so I suggest you stick to one method/theory and stick to that for a while. Since you are new taking a bootcamp can be a huge help. Bootcamps are more personal and will teach you what you need to improve.

-Quipster

[TheAwakened]

Inner game is by far the most important part of being a PUA, so work on that first. Start out just practicing holding eye contact with people (guys and girls alike) and keeping a friendly smile on your face...don't look away until they do. From there, move on to a simple greeting and then to casual conversation. Once you can do that, then start figuring out how to implement the method of your choice, and ideally, find someone more experienced to wing with so you can get some pointers.

[BluesCluesPUA]

There's a lot of advice out there, but I'll point you to a few that I think are great. Read Tyler Durden's 25 point checklist at http://www.seductiontuition.com/tyler-d ... oints.html and try to adhere to as many of those as possible. Also, start approaching people at random. Open everyone and everything: girls, guys, old people, babies, dogs, cats, and anyone or anything else you see. Get good at carrying on random conversations about nothing and you'll be much better at calibrating when it really matters. That's a good place to start.

Also, one point I cannot emphasize enough: don't shit where you eat. Try to keep your pickup studies separate from your existing circles of friends. A lot of guys jump at the idea of being PUAs, but most do not have the dedication to follow through and will ultimately end up causing you trouble if you try to get them involved. Problems also arise when you sarge girls that are part of your social circle or that know your friends. Your sticking points with those targets become known to everyone, and you cannot afford to have that happen. You need that existing circle of friends for social proof and to keep you grounded. Draw a FIRM line between friends and targets, and don't fuck around with it.

[LavianOrlandu]

Quip, I think taking a bootcamp is a great idea. Unfortunately, I'm one of those poor college blokes that can't really afford a large expense like a bootcamp. I'll do some shopping around and see where I can do it for cheap. I know, I know, I get what I pay for, but what I can pay isn't a whole lot at the moment.

Awakened, I was doing your exercise yesterday when I realized that I have a huge stumbling block already: I avoid eye contact like the plague. The was most noticeable when I talked to an HB8 and an HB9 at work. Most of my friends tell me that I come across as a confident person, but I'm surprised that I do when I catch myself looking elsewhere every 5 seconds. I'll just have to force myself to hold eye contact until it becomes natural.

Blue, the link that you sent me is exactly the resource that I'm looking for: an archive and treasure trove of pickup advice. I'll begin perusing it over the week as I have the next few days off. Thanks for the warning too. I'll admit, I'd been wondering as to where I draw the line with this.

[Scoundrel]

Mystery’s newbie mission: Go out three nights a week. Open four sets a night.

After you’ve done that for a few months patterns will emerge and things will start to become clear.

[TheAwakened]

Haha, I know man, I remember how hard it was at first. I think the first night I really tried to do it, I was at the swimming pool up at UNT and there was a fairly cute lifeguard on duty, so I was just trying to make and hold eye contact with her. I didn't think she was really noticing me, but as I left she said something along the lines of "Have a good night." At that point, I realized "I can fucking do this."

[LavianOrlandu]

Scoundrel, I was contemplating how I was going to be able to get out into the world three nights a week when I realized that I usually get out and play DDR three nights a week. If you play it off right, it's a massive DHV (especially if I get off my lazy ass and freestyle). I've even been opened sometimes after a game. It's just that now, I have an idea of what to do.

Awakened, I feel that. I'm having a hard time opening too, but it is getting easier. I keep thinking of the confidence that I'll have as a result and it's giving me the drive to keep going.

Just tonight, I bumped into this HB7 who flaked on me after we had made plans for Saturday night. I went to a friend's house to help my friend move when the HB7 showed up. She approached me for a hug, so I casually brushed her off as a neg. She got huffy and left, but I played it cool and walked off to talk to some other people there. I went inside the house and she followed me in. She approached me and made some quip about ditching me Saturday.

"Whatever you ditched me for, I bet you would have had a 100... no, a 1,000x more fun with me."
"Hah, whatever, you have no life without me," she shot back.
"Actually, my roomie's girlfriend had her birthday, so I celebrated with them. It worked out pretty well."

Oooo, that hit a sore spot. She's used to having the attention focused on her, so I ignored her and paid attention to my friend who's moving... which would have been the right thing to do anyway. I sat there and enjoyed controlling the frame, telling stories about how I went Office Space on a crappy printer, moving around the room joking and having a good time shooting the shit. This pickup stuff is worth learning just for that. Of course, HB7 saw all of this and tagged close along, I guess hoping that I'll talk to her. I decided to punish her some more and didn't bite.

I announce that I'm leaving to chill with my little bro and HB7 meets me by the doorway. She says that I can make plans with her to do something on Friday. I tell her that I'll have to find room in my busy schedule... if I decide to forgive her for flaking on me. I do give her a teensy hug just to reconcile a bit.

Damn, this feels good.

[MagicBalls]

Keep it up, Lavian. Keep your frame and be the one in control.

[brooklyn]

This is true. Inner game is definitely key. I've been studying and practicing the game for 3 years now... Out of everything I've learned i always go back to inner game and being the natural.

I've chilled with many naturals, and now I prefer to befriend and sarge with naturals over PUA's... For some reasons naturals understand everything that the PUA is trying to achieve. They don't think of it as game or a routine or method... It's just the way to be, the way they always were. The reason they think this is b/c of inner game. You see naturals have had inner game since they were young in elementary school. If you ask them they all have stories about when they were young and how they handled girls in school and in the neighborhood.

Learn natural inner game first then your outer game will take car of itself you will see a big difference in your personality with women.