[QUOTE=Fuzz;37590]She just texted me with a "hey". I have no clue as to how to reply.[/QUOTE]
She likes you man. I get the feeling that she's not sure if you like her for more than just sex. Just be real.
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Flaked on....
by Guest » Sat Sep 11, 2010 6:31 pm
[QUOTE=Fuzz;37590]She just texted me with a "hey". I have no clue as to how to reply.[/QUOTE]
you should respond like how you normally would. Act as if last night didn't even occur and that it has no effect on you.
I think your assumptions are right; i think she wants a relationship. She wants to know that what you want is more than just sex (which is not the case here).
My personal opinion is that you be honest with her. Tell her that you're not looking for a relationship, just dating. If she can handle that, shell stick around. If she wants more, than shell walk away. No worries, there are plenty of other girls you can game and sleep with....
If you're heartless and want to fuck her, than lie your ass off. Tell her you really like her and that you want to date "monogomously." If she bieves you, you'll continue to date and you'll fuck her. Just be prepared, you'll have to end it when she gets too attached, or if she catches you cheating...
I don't know about you, but I'd go with being honest.
you should respond like how you normally would. Act as if last night didn't even occur and that it has no effect on you.
I think your assumptions are right; i think she wants a relationship. She wants to know that what you want is more than just sex (which is not the case here).
My personal opinion is that you be honest with her. Tell her that you're not looking for a relationship, just dating. If she can handle that, shell stick around. If she wants more, than shell walk away. No worries, there are plenty of other girls you can game and sleep with....
If you're heartless and want to fuck her, than lie your ass off. Tell her you really like her and that you want to date "monogomously." If she bieves you, you'll continue to date and you'll fuck her. Just be prepared, you'll have to end it when she gets too attached, or if she catches you cheating...
I don't know about you, but I'd go with being honest.
- Guest
by Guest » Sun Sep 12, 2010 9:58 am
From my experience, she doesn't necessarily want a relationship. Maybe she just wants to konw you won't disappear after sex. When I've been in this situation where she stops me before penetration and it's clearly not just token resistance, I would say, "I can sense that you're not ready to have sex. As I'm sure you can tell (look down at crotch), I'm really attracted to you and I really want to have sex with you. But my life is not ruled by sex. It's not like I have to have it all the time. I enjoy spending time with you. I always have a good time with you. So if you don't want to have sex, that's ok with me." I'm telling you, probably 7 times out of 10, she'll have sex after that without bringing up relationship crap. She just wants to know that you're interested in more than sex and that you're not going to disappear afterwards.
The other 3 out of 10 times she might bring up relationship crap. Be prepared for that possibility. I wouldn't change anything. You're living life by your rules. Stick with that and be honest. If she doesn't want to comply to be with you (her right), then let her go.
The difference is that I would have said that the first or second time. You're in a weird situation now where you've already conformed to the fooling-around-without-sex dynamic, so saying that wouldn't make as much sense. You could probably still do it, just tweak it a little. The thing is, she has a vagina and hormones surging through her body. If you basically tell her (not in these words), "as you can tell I have a throbbing hard-on I want to slip inside you, so you choose, boring friends without sex or friends with hot sweaty ferocious orgasms," she'll probably choose the latter over the former. It's not even a gamble, because if she chooses the former, then she was always going to choose the former, only now you know where you stand. Why waste your time trying to fuck a girl like that. Just be casual friends.
The other 3 out of 10 times she might bring up relationship crap. Be prepared for that possibility. I wouldn't change anything. You're living life by your rules. Stick with that and be honest. If she doesn't want to comply to be with you (her right), then let her go.
The difference is that I would have said that the first or second time. You're in a weird situation now where you've already conformed to the fooling-around-without-sex dynamic, so saying that wouldn't make as much sense. You could probably still do it, just tweak it a little. The thing is, she has a vagina and hormones surging through her body. If you basically tell her (not in these words), "as you can tell I have a throbbing hard-on I want to slip inside you, so you choose, boring friends without sex or friends with hot sweaty ferocious orgasms," she'll probably choose the latter over the former. It's not even a gamble, because if she chooses the former, then she was always going to choose the former, only now you know where you stand. Why waste your time trying to fuck a girl like that. Just be casual friends.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Sep 15, 2010 9:08 am
She isn't looking for a relationship persay, instead she's looking for structure. She wants to know what she is to you so she knows how to act towards you. If it's a serious relationship then she knows to act one way, if it's more casual and more open-ended then she knows to act a different way, if it's nothing more than fuck buddies then she knows that what she's dealing with.
Women want to comply with the demands of men, especially men they are attracted to. She wants to know what you want so that she can give you exactly that, no more and no less. Tell her what you want and then sit back and let her please you. This is what she wants, it is what ALL women truly want.
Women want to comply with the demands of men, especially men they are attracted to. She wants to know what you want so that she can give you exactly that, no more and no less. Tell her what you want and then sit back and let her please you. This is what she wants, it is what ALL women truly want.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Sep 15, 2010 12:40 pm
Took Prodigy's advice with the reply to her "hey" on Saturday.
Me: Hi goofball, what are you up to?
HB: Are u going to [event we had planned too go to earlier]?
Me: Possibly. But I might not head out until 11. [I was very tired from work and staying out the night before]
A little while later she calls me to as for the location of the venue, and I comply. I assume she is now going with her friends. She asks me again if I'm going out and I say no, but I'm, probably going to go out later. I then ask her what she's going to do afterwards, and she tells me where she's going, but does not invite me. Before I hang up she asks me to text me the name of the venue again, which I decide not to.
Later that night I go out with other friends, and the text starts coming in (by which point I am drunk):
HB: What's up
(only a few minutes later before I can reply)
HB: Are u mad at me???
Me: ????
HB: ???Are u?
Me: Stop being a silly billy, lets hang out tonight.
HB: Haha I can't
Me: Why, are you mad? ;)
HB: U didn't buy us drinks
Me: I'm a feminist. :P
HB: Well good luck with that!!!
Me: Haha! (I know for a fact that laughing at her texts really pisser her off)
I have an okay night. Decide not to go confront her in person, even though I knew where she was gonna be. The next morning, I decided to try and make light of the whole thing, but I think it only made me come off as more passive aggressive.
Me: Obviously you're mad at me. :)
HB: Nope
Me: Yes you are. You need anger management. :)
HB: No I don't
Me: [giving up] I know; I'm teasing you.
This is where we stand. I haven't tried to contact her since Sunday, and neither has she. This, however, is not unlike where we stood many months ago when we first broke off contact, and other times in the past that I can remember. Part of me personally believes this girl thrives on conflict. Personally I thought the best thing to do would be no contact for a week or two but I'm not sure. I don't want to be investing as much into this as a feel I already am, especilly in light of newer options that have popped up recently. Still, this girl remains a challenge to me.
I have learned a lot from a lot of the advice posted in this thread, believe me. It has made me approach certain aspects of my game (especially with regards to other women) in revolutionary new ways I had NEVER thought of before. Nonetheless, I still think I'm missing the bigger picture, especially in regards to this girl. And I'm acting too impulsively sometimes, or conversely over thinking when I shouldn't.
Me: Hi goofball, what are you up to?
HB: Are u going to [event we had planned too go to earlier]?
Me: Possibly. But I might not head out until 11. [I was very tired from work and staying out the night before]
A little while later she calls me to as for the location of the venue, and I comply. I assume she is now going with her friends. She asks me again if I'm going out and I say no, but I'm, probably going to go out later. I then ask her what she's going to do afterwards, and she tells me where she's going, but does not invite me. Before I hang up she asks me to text me the name of the venue again, which I decide not to.
Later that night I go out with other friends, and the text starts coming in (by which point I am drunk):
HB: What's up
(only a few minutes later before I can reply)
HB: Are u mad at me???
Me: ????
HB: ???Are u?
Me: Stop being a silly billy, lets hang out tonight.
HB: Haha I can't
Me: Why, are you mad? ;)
HB: U didn't buy us drinks
Me: I'm a feminist. :P
HB: Well good luck with that!!!
Me: Haha! (I know for a fact that laughing at her texts really pisser her off)
I have an okay night. Decide not to go confront her in person, even though I knew where she was gonna be. The next morning, I decided to try and make light of the whole thing, but I think it only made me come off as more passive aggressive.
Me: Obviously you're mad at me. :)
HB: Nope
Me: Yes you are. You need anger management. :)
HB: No I don't
Me: [giving up] I know; I'm teasing you.
This is where we stand. I haven't tried to contact her since Sunday, and neither has she. This, however, is not unlike where we stood many months ago when we first broke off contact, and other times in the past that I can remember. Part of me personally believes this girl thrives on conflict. Personally I thought the best thing to do would be no contact for a week or two but I'm not sure. I don't want to be investing as much into this as a feel I already am, especilly in light of newer options that have popped up recently. Still, this girl remains a challenge to me.
I have learned a lot from a lot of the advice posted in this thread, believe me. It has made me approach certain aspects of my game (especially with regards to other women) in revolutionary new ways I had NEVER thought of before. Nonetheless, I still think I'm missing the bigger picture, especially in regards to this girl. And I'm acting too impulsively sometimes, or conversely over thinking when I shouldn't.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Sep 15, 2010 12:58 pm
[QUOTE=SaladSpoon;37643]im curious, after the last minute cock block did you attempt a freeze out then do-over? i know im a lil late haha[/QUOTE]
If you're asking about this:
[url]http://www.dallaslair.com/forum/showpost.php?p=37227&postcount=28[/url]
The honest answer is I don't remember exactly. I plowed through but was intent on respecting her wishes to not have sex. I wanted to develop comfort with her, and prove that I was someone who was gonna stick around afterwards.
If I remember correctly, I did not spend the night over that night, but I was only because I had very important things to do in the morning, and not as part of any freeze out ploy. Shortly thereafter, I pulled the same thing where I spent the night over, but no sex, but she get incredibly turned on, and the next day she kept sending me texts with nothing but "<3" symbols that honestly frightened me into thinking she was looking for a real relationship.
If you're asking about this:
[url]http://www.dallaslair.com/forum/showpost.php?p=37227&postcount=28[/url]
The honest answer is I don't remember exactly. I plowed through but was intent on respecting her wishes to not have sex. I wanted to develop comfort with her, and prove that I was someone who was gonna stick around afterwards.
If I remember correctly, I did not spend the night over that night, but I was only because I had very important things to do in the morning, and not as part of any freeze out ploy. Shortly thereafter, I pulled the same thing where I spent the night over, but no sex, but she get incredibly turned on, and the next day she kept sending me texts with nothing but "<3" symbols that honestly frightened me into thinking she was looking for a real relationship.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Sep 15, 2010 1:32 pm
[QUOTE=Fuzz;37649]Took Prodigy's advice with the reply to her "hey" on Saturday.
Me: Hi goofball, what are you up to?
HB: Are u going to [event we had planned too go to earlier]?
Me: Possibly. But I might not head out until 11. [I was very tired from work and staying out the night before]
A little while later she calls me to as for the location of the venue, and I comply. I assume she is now going with her friends. She asks me again if I'm going out and I say no, but I'm, probably going to go out later. I then ask her what she's going to do afterwards, and she tells me where she's going, but does not invite me. Before I hang up she asks me to text me the name of the venue again, which I decide not to.
Later that night I go out with other friends, and the text starts coming in (by which point I am drunk):
HB: What's up
(only a few minutes later before I can reply)
HB: Are u mad at me???
Me: ????
HB: ???Are u?
Me: Stop being a silly billy, lets hang out tonight.
HB: Haha I can't
Me: Why, are you mad? ;)
HB: U didn't buy us drinks
Me: I'm a feminist. :P
HB: Well good luck with that!!!
Me: Haha! (I know for a fact that laughing at her texts really pisser her off)
I have an okay night. Decide not to go confront her in person, even though I knew where she was gonna be. The next morning, I decided to try and make light of the whole thing, but I think it only made me come off as more passive aggressive.
Me: Obviously you're mad at me. :)
HB: Nope
Me: Yes you are. You need anger management. :)
HB: No I don't
Me: [giving up] I know; I'm teasing you.
This is where we stand. I haven't tried to contact her since Sunday, and neither has she. This, however, is not unlike where we stood many months ago when we first broke off contact, and other times in the past that I can remember. Part of me personally believes this girl thrives on conflict. Personally I thought the best thing to do would be no contact for a week or two but I'm not sure. I don't want to be investing as much into this as a feel I already am, especilly in light of newer options that have popped up recently. Still, this girl remains a challenge to me.
I have learned a lot from a lot of the advice posted in this thread, believe me. It has made me approach certain aspects of my game (especially with regards to other women) in revolutionary new ways I had NEVER thought of before. Nonetheless, I still think I'm missing the bigger picture, especially in regards to this girl. And I'm acting too impulsively sometimes, or conversely over thinking when I shouldn't.[/QUOTE]
I wouldn't have replied to her the next day and just left it at that. By replying, you showed weakness, obviously she got to you. She pushed your buttons, tested you and you failed -- youtexted her to ask if she was mad at you...
Having said that, if you're impulsive and aboslutely have to text her the next day, you should test her. If you know for a fact that she's mad, ask her why. If she responds as she did, you can do two things.
Talk / game her as if she's not.
Or
tell her that she's acting childish and when she's ready to discuss it like adults, to cantact you. Then you ignore her and do not contact her. If it ends, so be it.
My honest opinion is that you're investing WAY too much effort, especially for a girl you just want to fuck. Personally, I would just let it go...
Me: Hi goofball, what are you up to?
HB: Are u going to [event we had planned too go to earlier]?
Me: Possibly. But I might not head out until 11. [I was very tired from work and staying out the night before]
A little while later she calls me to as for the location of the venue, and I comply. I assume she is now going with her friends. She asks me again if I'm going out and I say no, but I'm, probably going to go out later. I then ask her what she's going to do afterwards, and she tells me where she's going, but does not invite me. Before I hang up she asks me to text me the name of the venue again, which I decide not to.
Later that night I go out with other friends, and the text starts coming in (by which point I am drunk):
HB: What's up
(only a few minutes later before I can reply)
HB: Are u mad at me???
Me: ????
HB: ???Are u?
Me: Stop being a silly billy, lets hang out tonight.
HB: Haha I can't
Me: Why, are you mad? ;)
HB: U didn't buy us drinks
Me: I'm a feminist. :P
HB: Well good luck with that!!!
Me: Haha! (I know for a fact that laughing at her texts really pisser her off)
I have an okay night. Decide not to go confront her in person, even though I knew where she was gonna be. The next morning, I decided to try and make light of the whole thing, but I think it only made me come off as more passive aggressive.
Me: Obviously you're mad at me. :)
HB: Nope
Me: Yes you are. You need anger management. :)
HB: No I don't
Me: [giving up] I know; I'm teasing you.
This is where we stand. I haven't tried to contact her since Sunday, and neither has she. This, however, is not unlike where we stood many months ago when we first broke off contact, and other times in the past that I can remember. Part of me personally believes this girl thrives on conflict. Personally I thought the best thing to do would be no contact for a week or two but I'm not sure. I don't want to be investing as much into this as a feel I already am, especilly in light of newer options that have popped up recently. Still, this girl remains a challenge to me.
I have learned a lot from a lot of the advice posted in this thread, believe me. It has made me approach certain aspects of my game (especially with regards to other women) in revolutionary new ways I had NEVER thought of before. Nonetheless, I still think I'm missing the bigger picture, especially in regards to this girl. And I'm acting too impulsively sometimes, or conversely over thinking when I shouldn't.[/QUOTE]
I wouldn't have replied to her the next day and just left it at that. By replying, you showed weakness, obviously she got to you. She pushed your buttons, tested you and you failed -- youtexted her to ask if she was mad at you...
Having said that, if you're impulsive and aboslutely have to text her the next day, you should test her. If you know for a fact that she's mad, ask her why. If she responds as she did, you can do two things.
Talk / game her as if she's not.
Or
tell her that she's acting childish and when she's ready to discuss it like adults, to cantact you. Then you ignore her and do not contact her. If it ends, so be it.
My honest opinion is that you're investing WAY too much effort, especially for a girl you just want to fuck. Personally, I would just let it go...
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Sep 15, 2010 2:22 pm
[QUOTE=Fuzz;37651]If you're asking about this:
[URL]http://www.dallaslair.com/forum/showpost.php?p=37227&postcount=28[/URL]
The honest answer is I don't remember exactly. I plowed through but was intent on respecting her wishes to not have sex. I wanted to develop comfort with her, and prove that I was someone who was gonna stick around afterwards.
If I remember correctly, I did not spend the night over that night, but I was only because I had very important things to do in the morning, and not as part of any freeze out ploy. Shortly thereafter, I pulled the same thing where I spent the night over, but no sex, but she get incredibly turned on, and the next day she kept sending me texts with nothing but "<3" symbols that honestly frightened me into thinking she was looking for a real relationship.[/QUOTE]
The first time she does that you can assume it's token resistance and try a freeze out. After that there's definitely more going on. This girl went way beyond token resistance.
[URL]http://www.dallaslair.com/forum/showpost.php?p=37227&postcount=28[/URL]
The honest answer is I don't remember exactly. I plowed through but was intent on respecting her wishes to not have sex. I wanted to develop comfort with her, and prove that I was someone who was gonna stick around afterwards.
If I remember correctly, I did not spend the night over that night, but I was only because I had very important things to do in the morning, and not as part of any freeze out ploy. Shortly thereafter, I pulled the same thing where I spent the night over, but no sex, but she get incredibly turned on, and the next day she kept sending me texts with nothing but "<3" symbols that honestly frightened me into thinking she was looking for a real relationship.[/QUOTE]
The first time she does that you can assume it's token resistance and try a freeze out. After that there's definitely more going on. This girl went way beyond token resistance.
- Guest
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