Weird Encounter. Need Understanding

[Guest]

So Saturday night, I took my kids out to Logan's Roadhouse. (for those of you who do not know, it is a steak place). Anyway, The waitress comes up, and as they normally do, they are a bit flirty. Anyway, I go cocky funny and just bust on her a bit. Nohing to creative, hell I didn't really pay attention to what I said, as I was just having fun and giving most of my attention to my kids.

Anyway, at the end of the dinner, she brings me the check, and I give her my card. She comes back a few seconds later, with card and check in hand. She gives me that face that means your card has been declined or something but doesnt say anything. So I ask if something went wrong. She then tells me that she hit some wrong buttons on the cash register (yeah right) and so she is going to have to take care of it at the end of the night. I ask if she is buying me dinner and she gets this big smile and says yes. So I tell her I want to return the favor and hand her my cell to type her number. She complies and I number close.

I call her the next day and ask what she's doing, and when she wants to go out. She the proceeds to blow me off, saying she has to work a double and she'll call me back later in the week and let me know.

WTF is this about. The woman buys me dinner (that's an IOI) she's flirting with me all night (a series of IOI's) and then I call her to set something up and she goes mental?

[Guest]

First, hired guns are fickle. Generally speaking, the best way to effectively close a hired gun is to become a bit of a regular. I've number closed a lot of hired guns, but it was only after seeing them a few times over a span of a few weeks have I been able to actually pull any one (save for a couple of girls that I met that one time).

Secondly, take any IOIs you get from them with a grain of salt. It is their job to be flirtatious, so when you think you're getting an IOI chances are pretty good that they're just doing their job.

Third, she only bought you dinner because she fucked up at the cash register. She didn't do it because she wanted to do it, she did it because she HAD to do so.

Fourth, I've got a phone full of number closes. And, the ones in which I didn't build sufficient comfort with are the same ones that generally flaked on me. So, go back to point 1, build comfort by making yourself a regular. Further, understand that number closes mean absolutely nothing. Women give their number out to men all the time, especially hired guns. As for this being a real number, don't think that that means anything. Of all of the number closes I've gotten, only 1 turned out to be fake...but I only suspect it was because she was way drunk and the number only had 9 digits.

Finally, not that I think this matters, but I'm not sure I would have called her the next day. It doesn't really matter, but usually I don't call them the next day unless I spent a lot of time with her or set up a date for the following day. And, I'm not sure how you asked her out, but remember that you don't ask women out...you tell them to come out. "Let's grab dinner this week, I'm free Wednesday night..." After you say that, you should get into a negotiation on what day to go out. If she gives you a non-committal response, then she doesn't want to go out. Women jump at opportunities to go out with men they like.

Having said that, the way to play this is to just let her sit idle for a while. Don't come across as needy by calling her back. If she's interested, she'll contact you. Most likely, it'll be via the medium that requires the least amount of investment (i.e. if she has your number and only your number, she'll text vs. call...if she has your e-mail and your number, she'll email instead of text/call).

[Guest]

[QUOTE]Secondly, take any IOIs you get from them with a grain of salt. It is their job to be flirtatious, so when you think you're getting an IOI chances are pretty good that they're just doing their job.[/QUOTE]

See that's just the thing. I'm 33 years old. I know what those types of places are like and I typically know when they are just doing their job and when they are really flirting. I mean after being on this earth and exposed to that for most of my adult life, i feel that I am pretty dialed in.

I didn't really think of her as a hired gun. Logan's isnt really that upscale. I can see it though. Maybe your right about it being her just doing her job, although I can normally tell the difference. Either way, your absolutely right about not calling her again. If she wants some of this, she is going to have to work for it. LOL

[Guest]

[QUOTE=traxxus;36740]See that's just the thing. I'm 33 years old. I know what those types of places are like and I typically know when they are just doing their job and when they are really flirting. I mean after being on this earth and exposed to that for most of my adult life, i feel that I am pretty dialed in.

I didn't really think of her as a hired gun. Logan's isnt really that upscale. I can see it though. Maybe your right about it being her just doing her job, although I can normally tell the difference. Either way, your absolutely right about not calling her again. If she wants some of this, she is going to have to work for it. LOL[/QUOTE]


Maybe I'm just cynical, which is very possible, but I think of every woman that works at any establishment where she has to interact with the public or engage in customer relations as part of her compensation is a hired gun. Women will flirt for dollars. The best ones will seem genuine. End of story.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;36742]Maybe I'm just cynical, which is very possible, but I think of every woman that works at any establishment where she has to interact with the public or engage in customer relations as part of her compensation is a hired gun. Women will flirt for dollars. The best ones will seem genuine. End of story.[/QUOTE]

I see a hired gun as anyone at work. So are you talking to a girl that is currently at work and on the clock? That's a hired gun.

[Guest]

You are all correct. She may have genuinely made a mistake at the register and was emabarrased about it. Rather than adding insult to injury she may have just decided to comply with the # exhchange.
It's very hard to build REAL comfort with a hired gun because of all of the distractions. Hired guns are flirt machines with lots of practice, the ones that aren't good at this don't make money. She may have experienced "buyers remorse" after the number exchange, and when you called the next day, eager to arrange plans, she probably declined because she had no basis or reason to meet up with you without that comfort. Usually when I number close and I know I haven't built up enough comfort, I wait a few days before calling and excuse myself for being soo busy. Of course "there's more than one way to skin a cat."

[Guest]

I used to live in a small town where the only cute women available were hired guns. They are flaky, but it is possible to get them with only a limited amount of comfort. How? Involve the rest of the restaurant. Me and my roomate used to run this party planning business back where I was from. Kinda like a van wilder sort of thing. Sometimes I would have tons of flirting with 1 girl.. There would be obvious chemistry and she would be sitting on my lap. I even had a few stroking my hair and crap, but I'd call them the next day and theyd act like they didn't even know who I was.

Other times we'd bring this ghetto sign in for our business.

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Wed flirt with our waitress just enough to get her to think we were cool, and at that point would bust out the sign and ask her gather all of her waitress friends in the restaurant to take a picture for our website and that if she did we'd invite her and possibly her friends "if they were cool" to one of our parties. Crazily enough about 90% of them would comply. After that massive social proof we'd gather all their numbers and tell them that we'd give the ones we liked a call. When I did call them guess who answered the phone the next day and was eager to do something?...

Only about 3 out of 10 of them man.. Restaurants are in many ways a numbers game, but as the other guys have said build comfort with them. Being just fun in this environment is not enough. Go for wide rapport. If you can make her feel that you can talk about anything and make her think you are sexy too then you are in. You must not let yourself become part of the "he's just a guy from work" frame. Be unique and make the night memorable. The nights I did that were the ones that had the most turnout at the parties. It doesn't have to take something so crazy. There was a time that making a stressed out waitress bust a smile and have a laugh was all it took. Build wide rapport somewhere I posted an in field audio of me talking to a girl about her love of big bird and motocross in the same paragraph. While hired guns can be flaky as hell I really think there are some great uhmm possibilities with them you just have to have a good understanding of the environment you are in and the special dynamics of getting a girl while shes at work.

All this said I think you should have called her and been like

[B]You:[/B] "wow, Lindsey.. dude I can't buy you dinner tonight"

[B]Her:[/B] "why not?"

[B]You:[/B] "oh I was at the drive thru at the bank and the girl inside hit some wrong buttons on the cash register and poof all my money was gone.... You don't work at a bank do you?"