Frames my daughter tries to pull...

[Guest]

"Daddy, is my food cooking?" (no talk of food prior, and she hasn't even said she was hungry before.) or sometimes, "How long until my food is ready?" i.e. Make me some food bitch.

"Daddy, I want to sit outside." (as we walk by a snow cone stand without mention of ever getting one. ) i.e. Buy me a snow cone, you over-sized wallet.

"Grandma, I want purple toenails." (without asking for them to be painted) i.e. paint me nails you asian-ish lady... make em purtty.

She certainly has her mother whooped though, I find it funny when the mom asks me stuff like, "Does she ever get an attitude with you?"

the mother/other grandparents: "Does she ever get an attitude with you?"
Me: "No because I'd beat her if she did."
the mother: "She's been getting real demanding lately. We have to go get snow cones, or go to the store, she throws tantrums if we don't."
Me: "Um, interesting." (Cut thread, and leave)

She plays them like a fiddle and I am loving it...

BTW I posted it here to also illustrate for others who may be interested who don't already know about frames, to be able to identify frame words.

[Guest]

I didn't know you had a daughter man.

[Guest]

My daughter hasn't gotten their yet, she ask for exactly what she wants. However, it is clear that this is coming. For guys with kids, this is an excellent example of real life frame setting. We all do this auto-magically, it's learning to think about what you say and the frame you set before hand so that you can get what you want out of an interaction.

[Guest]

Finesse, this raises an interesting question. I have a son, so I want him to learn to be unreactive, challenging, confident, relaxed, etc.

Now, you have a daughter, so do you encourage her to develop the tools that women learn? For example, do you encourage her to shit test? Do you reward her for trying to control the frame? After all, if she becomes good at these techniques, she will end up with a higher quality man. On the flip side, it makes your life harder. Perhaps being a good example of a high quality man in her life is enough.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Rhody;36787]Finesse, this raises an interesting question. I have a son, so I want him to learn to be unreactive, challenging, confident, relaxed, etc.

Now, you have a daughter, so do you encourage her to develop the tools that women learn? For example, do you encourage her to shit test? Do you reward her for trying to control the frame? After all, if she becomes good at these techniques, she will end up with a higher quality man. On the flip side, it makes your life harder. Perhaps being a good example of a high quality man in her life is enough.[/QUOTE]


Actually, I don't encourage her to do anything, her mom is rather good already (after all, she did get with me.. hehe). I see my role in her life as a template on how she should view a man who is actually being a man.

When she exerts these frames I just laugh and then make her do something menial for me. Later in life, when she understands how to recognize context a little better I will show her (most likely unknowingly to her) how to try and control things like you said.

I think this is one of the key things that a lot of girl's have now-a-days, daddy issues.

I also think the reason why I feel I have semi decent understanding of frames and context clues is because my mom has a very good level of understanding, and her and I go back and forth frame wise. I tend to recognize context clues others don't. When someone says something may seem menial to one person, but it may give me insight into everything that person has planned or their intentions.