Hurdle Game

[Guest]

There are a few hurdles, objections, whatever you want to call them, that you'll need to overcome with every woman you meet if you want to pursue a sexual relationship with her. They are, in no particular order:

1. Safety. Am I going to get an STD? Am I going to get pregnant? Is this too soon? Will this guy hurt me or rape me?

2. He might fall in love too quickly and turn in to a stalker.

3. Not enough value - you're in the friend zone.

4. People will think I'm a slut

5. If I do this, it might endanger a future relationship or friendship

6. It's too soon - not enough comfort


So what's the best way to handle these? My personal view is that if the questions come up - it's already pretty much too late and you're playing catch-up. Any attempt to quell the objection after she's raised it - and you seem try-hard and insincere.

So the best thing to do is to PREEMPT these objections before they come up. For example, one great thing to do in every set is to flip the script on some of these, and frame it as if she's a stalker for example. Preemptively display that you have enough social intelligence to know that you don't stalk a girl if you hook up with her.

And so on. There are a million ways to preempt these concerns. But that should be your goal.

[Guest]

The single best way to preempt all of these questions is to turn her from the pursued to the pursuer. In the normal course of events, the man is the one pushing towards sex and the woman is the one resisting sex. At some point during your interaction, you've got to flip that switch and get her coming after you instead of you coming after her. The best way I've found to do this is through incongruence between your words and your actions, being presumptuous, and fighting to stay in comfort.

She must hear that you don't want sex, but you must act as if you do want sex. Say things like:

"Whoa, slow down there...I'm not a piece of meat, I need comfort and rapport before I get physical." (This is to be done after she touches you in a semi-intimate way...usually I wait for her to touch my leg)

"Just so you know, I'm not going to have sex with you tonight..." (Say that after you've been kissing her or otherwise caressing some part of her body)

"You know, I feel like I've known you for a long time, BUT I still don't know you very well...I'm not into sleeping with strangers." (Be serious about this and say it much later in the night)

"You're nothing but trouble...if my mom knew you she'd say that you're a bad influence and you only want to corrupt me and steal my innocence..."

Say those things, but keep touching her, keep kissing her randomly (sometimes after an improtu kiss I'll apologize...usually I wait for her to tell a story then I kiss her and say "Sorry, I just couldn't hold out any longer...now, finish your story," keep looking at her as if she's an object of your sexual desire. But, don't TELL her that. She doesn't want to hear that you want to fuck her, she wants to her that you don't but she's just too irresistable and you can't control yourself. Your words are virtuous, but your actions are being corrupted by her sex appeal. That's what she wants. Give her what she wants.

You've got to presume that she wants to fuck you. You've got to think that sex is an inevitable outcome but you also need to fight the desire to escalate too quickly. If she asks how the date is going, you respond with "it's going just I thought it would...the problem with being intelligent is that you pretty much know what's going to happen next...it takes the fun out of life" then leave it at that. She'll ask for more, so she'll say something like "really and what's going to happen?"...to which you say "well, it all depends on how much restraint I can muster."

Again, you're alluding to sex, but not outright saying it. You're both adults, you both know what's going happening. So, be an adult and refrain from telling her specifically what you're referring to. She knows, she doesn't want to hear it, she wants to feel it.

If she brings up sex, which she absolutely will, then tell her your philosophy regarding sex. I usually say things like:

"I think sex should be an outlet for two people that are drawn to each other, that are intrigued by each other, and feel comfortable with each other to cut loose and have some fun."

"Sex is something that should be kept between the two people engaged in it...there's no need to kiss and tell...there's no need for anyone else to know what a freak either of us are..." Shoot her a wink and a smile after that one.

"When I was younger, I thought sex was the end all be all. But, I've found that it's so much better when you're having sex with someone that you geniunely like and enjoy being around."

"When I'm with a woman, I treat her like a lady in public...but, when I get her home, well that's a different story. She's mine and I'm hers and I excecpt for us to act as such..."

What all of the above does is diffuse her anti-slut defenses because I've promised to be descrete, because I've articulated why it's important that no one know what we're doing, I've also diffused the idea that I'm CURRENTLY a man whore (I've admitted, in a round about way, that I used to be one but now I understand the importance of personal connections and the role it plays in sex).

If she brings up timing, which she will, I usually answer with:

"What does too soon or too late mean? What does it matter? Are there really rules when it comes to that sort of thing? If I like someone or feel a connection with them then I just let sex take care of itself. If it happens tonight or in two weeks, it makes no difference because sex will happen when the time is right for both of us."

Again, I diffused the idea that it's too soon. I have acknowledged that I've held out before and that I've I had sex early but hav also said that none of that shit really matters in the end. It's really all about the connection, not where the connection leads. It also makes her feel as if my outcome isn't sex, that it's not a huge concern of mine and thus not something I'm trying to 'talk her into.'

The last piece of the puzzle, which is actually the backdrop to the entire interaction is that you have got to continue to fight to stay in comfort. What you want to do is plant firmly in comfort and create the frame that she's pulling YOU into seduction. If you read some of the lines above, you'll see what I'm talking about. I don't come out and acknowledge that we're headed for sex, I don't talk specifically about sex unless specifically asked, and I'll spike into seduction only to fall back into comfort moments later. What you want is to give her tastes of seduction, wet her palate, then when she decides that she likes what she's tasting she's going to pull your ass into seduction.

Your goal is for her to come right out and say that she wants to see where you live, she wants to spend the night with you, she wants you to come over. To which you respond with something funny like, "well, I'll only come over if you Scrabble..." That last line is the nail in the coffin, it displays your social intelligence and lets her know that she'll be in good hands with you because you know what you're doing.

In other words, give her the tools to empower herself. Make her feel as if she's seducing you, make her feel that you're have good intentions but her appeal is too strong for you to resist, she wants to know that you're human, that you're falliable. If she succeeds in seducing you, she'll feel like the most desirable, most beautiful woman on the planet, and she'll thank you for that in more ways than you can imagine.