Basics of Conversation - Stories

[Guest]

Storytelling -

There are three main aspects to storytelling - A.) Structure/Content C.) Emotional Ride C.) Delivery


Let's start with structure/content.

Every story has four parts.

1.) Setup
2.) Problem
3.) Resolution
4.) Conclusion


So first break down every story in to FOUR and only four sentences. Here's an example of a plain one, from my day today.


1.) Setup - Who is the main character? What was he doing prior to the story?
eg. "I decided to play hookey from work today instead of driving out to see a customer"

2.) Problem - What happened to screw up your state?
eg. "I got a call from my boss."

3.) Resolution - How did you get out of that jam?
eg. "I turned on the room fan to full blast, placed the phone by it, and pretended to be in my truck."

4.) Conclusion - So what happened?
eg. "My boss praised me for doing a great job, saying I reminded him of him at my age."

so.... "I decided to play hookey from work today instead of driving out to see a customer. But then, I got a call from my boss. Thinking quickly, I turned on the room fan to full blast, placed the phone by it, and pretended to talk to him from my truck. At the end, my boss praised me for doing a great job, saying I reminded him of him at my age."


And we have a coherent story. Dudes would like this story. But from a girl's perspective, it's boring. Why? You need to go on to step B.) Emotional roller coaster. Basically, you need to juice the story up in two ways.

First, she needs to RELATE to your story. Second, you need to spell out what you were FEELING during the ride. So for instance...

"I was stressed out about some stuff and decided to play hookey from work today to take care of it, instead of driving out to see a customer. But then, I got a call from my boss. Listening to that phone ringing, I got scared for a minute because it felt like I was totally being busted for skipping work. But I closed my eyes for a sec, snapped my fingers, and pulled myself together. I turned the fan to full blast when I answered the phone, and luckily he believed I was in my truck! I'm pretty relieved I pulled that off. He even praised me for doing a great job, saying I reminded him of himself a my age!"

And so on.

Now you have a story that hopefully she can relate to.



Finally, delivery. Step C. All you need to do here is BELIEVE WHAT YOU SAY, SAY WHAT YOU BELIEVE, and don't be afraid to get in to your story!

That's it. You're now a conversational master.

[Guest]

Nice!

I've been working on story telling lately.

I would share what I have and where I'm at. Especially since I think it was one of the strengths of ABC's of Attraction boot camp I attended. But, I don't want to hijack the thread because I'm curious about where your advice comes from, etc..

TO ME... this really is a HUGE part of success in the field.

Do you have any new advice? Where did the model above come from? What have you studied?

Thanks bro!!

[Guest]

[QUOTE=bigdprince;35957]
Do you have any new advice? Where did the model above come from? What have you studied?

Thanks bro!![/QUOTE]


Dallas Lair (in general) has a different outlook on the community and the skill set we've all come here to learn. You are fresh out of a boot camp, and so you will look at the game as a highly structured pseudo-script to follow in-field.

That's not how the veterans of this board operate.

We gravitate more towards congruent NATURAL game. Learn to BE the man, not imitate him.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=bigdprince;35957]Nice!

I've been working on story telling lately.

I would share what I have and where I'm at. Especially since I think it was one of the strengths of ABC's of Attraction boot camp I attended. But, I don't want to hijack the thread because I'm curious about where your advice comes from, etc..

TO ME... this really is a HUGE part of success in the field.

Do you have any new advice? Where did the model above come from? What have you studied?

Thanks bro!![/QUOTE]



Not to put words in my bro's mouth, I only put my penis in there, but I'm pretty sure Grimm learned all of this by being a smart motherfucker and sarging in the field.

Bootcamps, DVDs, ebooks, etc are all well and good, but if you have any level of competence a few weeks in the field should open your eyes to how this 'game' works and what it is that you should do and say. Everything else is marginal at best and destructive to your game at worst.

[Guest]

There's one aspect of storytelling that I have trouble with. Juggler says to leave questions unanswered in your story. That leads her to participate, drawing the story out of you by asking questions. She invests in the story.

So Grimm's story would start out:
"The craziest things can happen when you play hooky from work."
[vacuum]

HB will be compelled to ask, "why? What happened?"

Grimm:
"I was stressed out about some stuff and decided to play hooky today instead of driving out to see a customer. But then, I got a call from my boss. Listening to that phone ringing, I got scared for a minute because it felt like I was totally being busted for skipping work. But then I came up with a genius plan, and it totally worked! I was really proud of myself. I was in a great mood the rest of the day."

HB: "Sometimes I get the idea to play hooky, but I always chicken out. What was your genius plan? Maybe I'll use it."

Grimm:
"Well, I closed my eyes for a sec, snapped my fingers, and pulled myself together. I turned the fan to full blast when I answered the phone so it would sound like I was in my truck! I'm pretty relieved I pulled that off. He even praised me for doing a great job, saying I reminded him of himself at my age!"

A story is much better if it isn't a monologue. And this is where I struggle. When I tell a story, I tend to want to get the good parts out. However, it is much better to bait her into contributing to the story by asking questions. I find it difficult to think two moves ahead like that when telling a story.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=bigdprince;35957]Nice!

I've been working on story telling lately.

I would share what I have and where I'm at. Especially since I think it was one of the strengths of ABC's of Attraction boot camp I attended. But, I don't want to hijack the thread because I'm curious about where your advice comes from, etc..

TO ME... this really is a HUGE part of success in the field.

Do you have any new advice? Where did the model above come from? What have you studied?

Thanks bro!![/QUOTE]


You have some awesome enthusiasm man!

I think we all started out studying a little or a lot of something. I took a bootcamp about 2 years ago, and read everything under the sun at that time. I remember what that's like - you're going out there and soaking up stuff, trying new things out in the field, and finding your feet. I think it's great.

I think we all go through this progression, and at some point realize that the quickest way from point A to point B is the natural way, which is what I think the guys were talking about.

This is an important point, so I will dive in to it, although it's a little off topic, but I think it's useful for folks.

We're not just saying "be yourself" and throwing you to the wolves - that would be a pretty shitty community. What we are saying is that the more experience you get, the simpler things become. I still am growing myself, but I think I can sum up all game as we understand it in basically one concept:

Know who you are, what you're about, what you believe, and genuinely like yourself. Enjoy your own company, and don't let others be your source of validation. Because you like yourself, take pride in what you do, how you look, how your house looks, your manners, your style. Be sure of yourself.

That's the core concept of the game.

To give you an example of how this works, compared to the running around you do when you start out, let's look at the apple pie - the Mystery Method.

Here's an overview of the Mystery Method, and I'll try not to butcher it -

The method takes you thru "stages", from meeting to seduction.


First, you are supposed to get a girl's interest. You do this by being the center of attention, and being disinterested in her.

Next, you should set a vibe, which is just shared emotion in the group. The idea is to set the vibe, and not show interest in your target.

After that...attraction. Here you should show Social proof, Negs, Humor, Preselection, Willingness to walk, Protector of loved ones, Social alignment, Risk taker, Body Language etc. This stage is about showing value. Mystery defines value as: Social status and alignments, wealth, looks, height, emotional/physical strength, health, intelligence, healthy emotional programming

Next we're on to connection, where the woman and man generate understanding of each other on a deeper level. She knows your value, you know hers. You show her your genuine interest, you show her you're genuine period - and build trust and comfort.

Seduction is the final stage, where all the magic happens.


There is absolutely nothing wrong with this theory, except that it is more complicated than it needs to be. Let's look at how an interaction would go thru the stages if all you had was the maxim I said above:

"Know who you are, what you're about, what you believe, and genuinely like yourself. Enjoy your own company, and don't let others be your source of validation. Because you like yourself, take pride in what you do, how you look, how your house looks, your manners, your style. Be sure of yourself."

Stage 1 - interest. Because you've done your homework before opening the set, you're in shape, you look nice, you are having a good time, and it is obvious to the room that you are not needy. So this stage happens automagically when you open your mouth to speak. No effort required.

Stage 2 - vibe. Because you genuinely like yourself, and are the source of your own validation, you send out a positive radiant vibe, and are not affected by her shit tests, or anything else. This also comes naturally.

Stage 3 - attraction. This is the easiest. If you internalize the maxim above, you become a man of value, and you don't need to do anything to show it. She sees it in you without your trying, which makes it more genuine, and eases you in to stage 4.

Stage 4 - comfort. This is where natural game really excels. Since you're being congruently a man of value, there is no question that you are being genuine. You can be confident that the more time you spend with a woman, the more she will like you - although that doesn't matter, since you're the source of your own validation.

So you see, the natural game is a shortcut. You become the man that she's programmed to be attracted to.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;35961]Not to put words in my bro's mouth, I only put my penis in there, but I'm pretty sure Grimm learned all of this by being a smart motherfucker and sarging in the field.

Bootcamps, DVDs, ebooks, etc are all well and good, but if you have any level of competence a few weeks in the field should open your eyes to how this 'game' works and what it is that you should do and say. Everything else is marginal at best and destructive to your game at worst.[/QUOTE]

I graduated from the University of Life. All right? I received a degree from the School of Hard Knocks. And our colors were black and blue, baby. I had office hours with the Dean of Bloody Noses. All right? I borrowed my class notes from Professor Knuckle Sandwich and his Teaching Assistant, Ms. Fat Lip. That's the kind of school I went to for real, okay?

[Guest]

[QUOTE=grimm1111;35977]Stage 4 - comfort. This is where natural game really excels. Since you're being congruently a man of value, there is no question that you are being genuine. You can be confident that the more time you spend with a woman, the more she will like you - although that doesn't matter, since you're the source of your own validation.[/QUOTE]


Interesting that your last stage is comfort. I think the exact same way. My goal is to have sexual comfort with a girl. I want her to feel comfortable with me, who I am, and what I represent. Then, I take that a step further and I want her to be comfortable with me in a sexual a way. That's the key with women, comfort. If a woman is comfortable with you, she'll do whatever you ask of her.

Grimm outlined it very simply: prepare, have fun, approach, and build comfort. It's that simple.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;35982]Interesting that your last stage is comfort. I think the exact same way. My goal is to have sexual comfort with a girl. I want her to feel comfortable with me, who I am, and what I represent. Then, I take that a step further and I want her to be comfortable with me in a sexual a way. That's the key with women, comfort. If a woman is comfortable with you, she'll do whatever you ask of her.

Grimm outlined it very simply: prepare, have fun, approach, and build comfort. It's that simple.[/QUOTE]

Yep. If two people are comfortable being themselves around the other person, and they're in to each other, the sex will just happen.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Rhody;35968]There's one aspect of storytelling that I have trouble with. Juggler says to leave questions unanswered in your story. That leads her to participate, drawing the story out of you by asking questions. She invests in the story.

So Grimm's story would start out:
"The craziest things can happen when you play hooky from work."
[vacuum]

HB will be compelled to ask, "why? What happened?"

Grimm:
"I was stressed out about some stuff and decided to play hooky today instead of driving out to see a customer. But then, I got a call from my boss. Listening to that phone ringing, I got scared for a minute because it felt like I was totally being busted for skipping work. But then I came up with a genius plan, and it totally worked! I was really proud of myself. I was in a great mood the rest of the day."

HB: "Sometimes I get the idea to play hooky, but I always chicken out. What was your genius plan? Maybe I'll use it."

Grimm:
"Well, I closed my eyes for a sec, snapped my fingers, and pulled myself together. I turned the fan to full blast when I answered the phone so it would sound like I was in my truck! I'm pretty relieved I pulled that off. He even praised me for doing a great job, saying I reminded him of himself at my age!"

A story is much better if it isn't a monologue. And this is where I struggle. When I tell a story, I tend to want to get the good parts out. However, it is much better to bait her into contributing to the story by asking questions. I find it difficult to think two moves ahead like that when telling a story.[/QUOTE]


I like the spirit of what you're saying here man, there's def ways to embellish on the method I wrote down. I used to use a similar intrigue trick all the time, it's money. This is kind of 201 stuff though, and the post was meant to be the basic meat and potatoes.

You can over-use intrigue. Remember that intrigue is an emotion, and if you're doing this in every story you will seem one-dimensional and boring after a while. Try to cycle in other emotions, like fear of loss, humor, challenge, sexual tension, moments of honesty, etc. to show off your whole persona.

And don't be too afraid of monologues. Who gets to sit around the fire and tell stories when everyone else listens? The alpha man. Just make sure that your monologues ADD to the vibe, that they ADD value and make people feel good.

But great addition, keep it up.