Deep thoughts...

[Guest]

Man, you guys are awesome. Thanks is all I can say.


So here's the plan of action, now that I'm in the game again.



#1 Working out -

Who said looks don't matter?

So the first thing I am doing - I went and bought a funky-gizmo body fat measuring thing today and it says I'm at 20% body fat. I'm cutting this down to 8%. There's a two-part plan here. First, I'm on a strict 1500 calorie per day diet. Second, I've started doing pushups and pullups and some other exercise.

I'm planning to do a little style makeover as well. For instance, I haven't cut my hair in a couple months. So little shit like that is going to have to come back into the regime.


#2 Quit being a pussy and talk to more girls without being drunk

I walked around Sears today, looking for my body fat gadget, and I saw a few hotties in a group. But I chickened out and didn't do anything. That's unacceptable. I don't regret anything that I've done in life up till now, but I do regret a lot of things that I haven't done. So some how, some way, this is a problem that's GETTING taken care of. I've got a few ideas.

Bite the bullet and see a therapist/life coach. I'm willing to pay someone a couple hundred a month to re-wire my head.

Join the Chicago Lair - so that I have someone to kick my ass if I don't live up to my expectations.

Read, study, and learn. I've had the teacher hat on for a year now or so. Time to take that off and become a student again. My priorities are that I'm after results now. And I'm going to figure out what it takes to get them.

Well, that's all I can think of for now.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=grimm1111;35712]
#1 Working out -

Who said looks don't matter?
[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't look at it that way. It will give you energy, a better mood, etc. I guess the improved physique is important, as that will influence your self esteem and stuff...but anyway...when I lost my weight, I couldn't look at it like that. I had to focus on making myself mentally healthy through physical exercise...that might just be me, though.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Smirks;35718]I wouldn't look at it that way. It will give you energy, a better mood, etc. I guess the improved physique is important, as that will influence your self esteem and stuff...but anyway...when I lost my weight, I couldn't look at it like that. I had to focus on making myself mentally healthy through physical exercise...that might just be me, though.[/QUOTE]

I'm trying to increase my marketability. Think of it like re-doing the kitchen before you sell your house. You could have sold it before, but now you'll get more for it.

[Guest]

Welcome back man!! I am envious that you live in Chicago,I have heard amazing things about the nightlife there.Yes, join a lair so that you would have somebody to motivate you and help you focus. That alone will help you A LOT( i have been in San Antonio for about 2 years now and there is no lair).1 week full of good,hard nights and you will be back up to your peak again.

[Guest]

[QUOTE]It honestly feels like drug withdrawl. Like a big source of happiness and security is just gone, and I'm going thru cravings.[/QUOTE]

Love is a drug. It activates all the same addiction and reward pathways that drugs do. Ever wonder why relationships fail after a year? It's tolerance to the reward chemicals. All this only applies to passionate love. Companion love or[FONT="] mutual understanding, caring, and empathy/[/FONT][FONT="]Self-expansion / Self-other overlap[/FONT] can last forever. I think many people get blinded by the passionate love and it never truly develops into companionate love.

My ex moved away about 6 months ago forcing me into a similiar situation to what happened to you. I thought I really loved her, but like you it was only really at certain moments. When I think about it now the majority of those moments were close to high moments of passion, just laying with her in a park after sex, looking at the stars after a passionate kiss. It's crazy how blinding passion can be to how truly connected to someone you are. I assume you will get in a relationship someday again so when you do don't be blinded by passion like I was.

Best wishes on finding your cute blonde and it's good to hear some genuine ness around here. With a world full of narcissists it's refreshing to hear from you.