FR: 3/26-29/10 Traxxus - Day Game - Night Game - Trip to Atlanta

[Guest]

So I flew to Atlanta to meet this girl I work with and have been gaming over the phone since she came on a close team I have been working with. Flight there was absolutely awful, very target poor.

I got there, and f-closed the first day. Of course, I'm not going to fly to frazzin' Atlanta and not F-Close, but anyway. I met her at my hotel (I think that was a good decision because it gave us some space from her roommate and was a DHV showing me as a man of means) and upon meeting her face to face just went right for a kiss. No hesitation. (That's worked for me a few times now) Then we went to dinner. I ran strawberry fields, ring routine, 5 questions, basically my entire stack. Then I switched to my natural intuition and body language and eye movements, which I have been reading up on. Combine this with a bit of NLP and she thinks I'm a mind reader! I'm so inside her head and set such a strong frame that she can't escape. I spent the rest of the weekend getting inside her head and her pants.

I think this went so well for a few reasons:

[LIST=1]
[*]I'm pre-qualified because we work together. Not closely, but close enough.
[*]I build comfort before the visit by casually flirting with her.
[*]I really felt like I controlled the frame leading up to our intimate encounters. I captured her interest, escalated and closed
[*]I had a time constraint because she knew I was only going to be there over the weekend.
[/LIST]

Now for the challenge:
[list=1]
[*]She is starting to refer to me as her boyfriend. I have not responded to this, and I know it's her natural instinct to draw me in, but I am not interested in a monogamous relationship atm. I want MLTR's. How do I accomplish this?
[/list]

So she was the main reason for the visit. However, once on the home trip I opened some other women,

The Asian woman was a HB8, and she was flying to Japan to visit her family. She lives in NYC. She sat next to me on the plain so I opened her, ran ring routine, talked about her business, and ran 5 questions. I built some comfort but she was cagey. I've noticed that when I run ring routine and go kino that they let me, but right after I'm done they jerk their hand away. Not sure if it's something in my delivery or what? I always keep it upbeat and positive. This happened on this chick and an Air Force chick I talked to. I closed this when she gave me her business card with her email on it. I wasn't really after a number close because unless I goto NYC, it's useless to me.

The Air Force chick was next. She was a HB6 and had a strong inner core. I haven't used to many neg's, as I don't entirely feel comfortable with them. I opened by calling her a sleepy head because she had passed out in the terminal while waiting on the flight. She perked up and I basically followed the same stack as above. As mentioned she also let me go kino, but then jerked her hand away.

Finally was the Verizon chick. She was sitting across the isle of the plane on my row. We shared isle seats. She actually opened me and we began talking. I probably could have number closed, but wasn't really feeling it with her.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=traxxus;35582]So I flew to Atlanta to meet this girl I work with

[LIST=1]
[*]She is starting to refer to me as her boyfriend. I have not responded to this, and I know it's her natural instinct to draw me in, but I am not interested in a monogamous relationship atm. I want MLTR's. How do I accomplish this?
[/LIST]

[/QUOTE]

Well, maybe not fly to Atlanta just for a fuck buddy. Maybe when she calls you her boyfriend you correct her. Maybe you tell her from the get-go you aren't looking for a girlfriend. Maybe you are a little honest with her. It just might do the trick.

[Guest]

Good advice, and a bit of a kick in the but. I probably needed that.

[Guest]

Good advice, and a bit of a kick in the butt. I probably needed that. So that is something that was left out of the Field Report. I did set the expectation while I was there that I am not interested in a deep "leading to marriage" relationship. She felt the same way, as we are both fairly recent divorcee's. I believe the understanding is there. I consider myself a very honest person. I suppose what I am asking is :

How do I correct her when she calls me her boyfriend without coming off like a douche?

Of course, for me, in my world, everything has the potential to change, move, shift. What I want today, may be different from what I want tomorrow. I wouldn't have known that I didn't want a LTR with her alone without meeting her face to face. I'm glad I took the trip, it was an awesome experience. And what else should life be, but a collection of awesome experiences tied around a common thread.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=traxxus;35598]
How do I correct her when she calls me her boyfriend without coming off like a douche?
[/QUOTE]

Since you have waited so long you are going to sound like a douche anyway. Just tell her and get it over with. It's like pulling off a bandaid.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Lion;35602]Since you have waited so long you are going to sound like a douche anyway. Just tell her and get it over with. It's like pulling off a bandaid.[/QUOTE]


Any time you tell a girl that you're not her boyfriend you come off as a douche. The timing doesn't matter all that much. Like Lion said, just tell her.

[Guest]

On the ring routine question, it sounds like you're running it too soon. One of the purposes of the ring routine is to give her (and you) plausable deniability to touch. If she hasn't built attraction she doesn't want to touch. Sounds like you're giving value before she's earned it. Make her work for the cold reads. Tell her something like "It's interesting that you wear your ring on that finger, why do you wear it there. You know it tells a lot about someone, but I don't know you well enough to get into that with you." Wait for her to almost beg for it...JMHO

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Dead Poet;35606]On the ring routine question, it sounds like you're running it too soon. One of the purposes of the ring routine is to give her (and you) plausable deniability to touch. If she hasn't built attraction she doesn't want to touch. Sounds like you're giving value before she's earned it. Make her work for the cold reads. Tell her something like "It's interesting that you wear your ring on that finger, why do you wear it there. You know it tells a lot about someone, but I don't know you well enough to get into that with you." Wait for her to almost beg for it...JMHO[/QUOTE]

This is similar to something Traxxus said about palm reading. I don't understand the point of saying, "I don't know you well enough." To me, it sounds weird and rude to tell a girl that you know something interesting about her and then tell her that you're not going to share it with her. It's like walking up to a stranger and saying, "I have lots of delicious cookies and you can't have any." Well, why the fuck did you bring it up?

I would say, "someone once told me something interesting about how the finger you wear your ring on reveals secrets about your personality." And then just stop talking. Create a vacuum. If she asks, share it. Teach her something. If she doesn't ask about it, drop it. But don't punish her before she has a chance to ask.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Dead Poet;35606]On the ring routine question, it sounds like you're running it too soon. One of the purposes of the ring routine is to give her (and you) plausable deniability to touch. If she hasn't built attraction she doesn't want to touch. Sounds like you're giving value before she's earned it. Make her work for the cold reads. Tell her something like "It's interesting that you wear your ring on that finger, why do you wear it there. You know it tells a lot about someone, but I don't know you well enough to get into that with you." Wait for her to almost beg for it...JMHO[/QUOTE]


There are two pre-conditions to run any routine that requires you touch someone else: 1) they've already touched you (if a girl likes you, she'll find a way to touch you) OR 2) you're firmly planted in comfort. If she hasn't touched you and/or you're not in comfort, then they'll feel weird if you run a kino routine.

One of the things I've noticed about the Community, and kino, is that when a guy is trying to kino a girl in a deliberate fashion it comes off as creepy. If you're doing everything else right (i.e. building comfort) then kino will occur naturally and spontaneously. Don't try to force it lest you be labeled the creepy, touchy guy.

As for Dead Poet's statement, I'm not sure it's about rewarding her or giving her value. It's way too early in the interaction to firmly have the dynamic that you're the prize working properly. That dynamic takes time. The goal is that you start building that frame early and it's cumulative, not something that is or isn't. It's subtle, it builds up. I don't think of cold reads as providing value to her, instead it's a way for me to show my value to her. That's really what you're trying to get to. You show her your value through whatever means necessary (interesting stories, gambits, routines, passing shit tests, etc), once you've built enough value she's going to start coming to you. When that happens, that's when you start the push-pull dynamic. She knows your value, she wants you, so you give a little and take a little.

She's not going to beg for a cold read from some dude that may or may not have a lot of value...but, she definitely will beg for a cold read from a guy that has showed and projected a lot of value.

[Guest]

BR, thanks for the clarification and correction. I do learn much from reading this forum. I'm still a newbie with way too much AA than I should have, but I am still learning much from reading the "masters" here :)