Deep thoughts...

[Guest]

Being in a relationship can really fuck you up.

I was in one until about a month ago, which lasted a little over a year. I thought I was in love, man. I thought it was the real deal. I thought I'd figured it out.

We ended because she had a lot of tragedy go on in her life, and she needed more sacrifice from me than I could give her. She couldn't be with someone who didn't love her enough.

And I guess if I'm honest with myself, there were parts of me that were holding back from her. I didn't want to give 100 percent to a long distance relationship. And then, there was always a shallow part of me that wanted a hot little blonde girl.

So now I'm back in the real world. Hello world.

It honestly feels like drug withdrawl. Like a big source of happiness and security is just gone, and I'm going thru cravings.

I'm yammering.

OK here's the point. Don't do long distance relationships. And don't go getting yourself in love unless you know what the fuck you're getting in to.

Cheers, and see you out there in the big bad world.

[Guest]

OK fuck this whiney nonsense. You know what I'm going to do? I'm gonna take all that emotional hogwash, and focus it. It's going to become the source of my determination.

I'm gonna re-double my efforts, and I'm going to go out there, and I'm going to find the RIGHT girl for me. And I won't make the same mistake twice. And then I'll be happy. Count on it.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=grimm1111;35695]OK fuck this whiney nonsense. You know what I'm going to do? I'm gonna take all that emotional hogwash, and focus it. It's going to become the source of my determination.

I'm gonna re-double my efforts, and I'm going to go out there, and I'm going to find the RIGHT girl for me. And I won't make the same mistake twice. And then I'll be happy. Count on it.[/QUOTE]


Hey bro, I know how you feel and where you're at right now. As much as I sound like a misogynist, as jaded as I come across, I do know one thing for certain. Loving a woman, I mean truly loving her, and her loving you back is one of the single most beautiful things that a man can experience in his life. Too often, as PUAs, we like to think that we're stronger, smarter, and above the entire concept of love. But, part of being a man, a real man, is to love and protect and provide and nurture and, to be loved.

Having said that, here is the key. You are worthless until you are happy and fulfilled with who you are, what you represent, and where you're going. You're an awesome person and have become a great friend. Whether you know it or not, you have impacted my life in many ways.

So, I pose this question to you. You say that you fell for the wrong woman, but I ask you this my friend: do you think that maybe the wrong you fell for the right woman at the wrong time?

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;35696]Hey bro, I know how you feel and where you're at right now. As much as I sound like a misogynist, as jaded as I come across, I do know one thing for certain. Loving a woman, I mean truly loving her, and her loving you back is one of the single most beautiful things that a man can experience in his life. Too often, as PUAs, we like to think that we're stronger, smarter, and above the entire concept of love. But, part of being a man, a real man, is to love and protect and provide and nurture and, to be loved.

Having said that, here is the key. You are worthless until you are happy and fulfilled with who you are, what you represent, and where you're going. You're an awesome person and have become a great friend. Whether you know it or not, you have impacted my life in many ways.

So, I pose this question to you. You say that you fell for the wrong woman, but I ask you this my friend: do you think that maybe the wrong you fell for the right woman at the wrong time?[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't want to be too strong or too smart for love, that would be a very boring existence. Passion makes life beautiful.

To answer your question, I think in the end it wasn't really love at all - we were both fooled. We caught the scent of it. We were seduced by the idea of it. But it was an illusion all along.

Was she the right woman at the wrong time? Maybe. I'm only a man, but I have little self-doubt at my core. I know who I am, where I'm going, what I represent. But I am not fulfilled. I have a hole in my being that only the love of a beautiful woman can fulfill.

I won't relent until I'm whole again.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=grimm1111;35694] I didn't want to give 100 percent to a long distance relationship. And then, there was always a shallow part of me that wanted a hot little blonde girl.
[/QUOTE]


This one thing right here will screw a relationship up faster than anything. You may have subconsciously been holding out for better.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Finesse;35698]This one thing right here will screw a relationship up faster than anything. You may have subconsciously been holding out for better.[/QUOTE]

This is a bit of a chicken-and-egg question. I was in a relationship for almost 2 years and at times I was very fulfilled by the liberating feeling of loving someone 100%. However, there were certain aspects of our personalities that made us incompatible, and whenever those would surface and I would really focus on them, I would start to miss sarging and dating different women.

Does holding out for better doom the relationship? Or does a bad relationship motivate you to look for better?

[Guest]

If it's a bad relationship, then it's doomed from that point in which you realized the relationship was bad. Thinking about other women just adds fuel to the flames.

But not only that, holding out for better means the one you're with doesn't ever get the full you.

[Guest]

A quote from one of my favorite movies:

Once upon a time, I wanted to know what love was. Love is there if you want it to be. You just have to see that it's wrapped in beauty and hidden away in between the seconds of your life. If you don't stop for a minute, you might miss it. -- Cashback

For my entire life, I had the 'hold out for better' mentality, which was only exacerbated by the Community. In my head, I was so focused on the pick-up aspect of relationships. As a result, I found that I very rarely fully enjoyed the current girl because I was always looking for the next girl. You could argue that I was holding out for better but, in truth, I never really got to know any girl I ever 'dated' so I never knew if they were better or not.

That's one thing I'll always regret, missing out on getting to know a lot of potentially awesome women on a more intimate level. The fact is that I simply didn't allow myself to care for these women. In truth, until recently, I've never really loved any woman (funny thing is that I think about some of the women before that I never cared much for and I realize that I very likely could have loved them if I was open to that idea).

I often wonder if we're the ones stopping us from feeling that way about a woman. Is it holding out for better? Or is that just the excuse we use to justify why we don't fall for someone because we just aren't ready, don't want to, or can't? How much of the outcome of a relationship is essentially driven by a self-fulfilling prophecy?

[Guest]

Grimm- no need to be ashamed for wanting a "hot little blonde" as long as she can offer as much mentally as she does physically. A chic that you are totally into mentally and physically is a keeper and very satisfying, not to mention hard to find!

Go get what you want and when the times right give it all you got!

[Guest]

Every serious relationship I have had I always had at the Forefront of my mind was she isn't good enough. She isn't hot enough and I know I can do better. There is no doubt unless I got to the point that I was willing to settle I always wanted something better. This doomed the relationship at least until the point that I would fully settle.

I always felt bad for the girl and most times I would cut the cord and let her go before the relationship had run its course. I didn't want to use up the best remaining years of her life so essentially setting her free.

You probably made the right decision based on some of the conversations I have had with you. Sure it sucks right now but your hot little blonde is surely just around the corner.