Basics of Conversation - Threading

[Guest]

One thing I think a lot of people lack is basic conversation skills. So here is my contribution. To have a good conversation, you basically need three skills. The first of these will be the topic of this post - called threading. (storytelling and emotional intelligence are the other two, incidentally)



To thread, you have to be able to master three skills. Pick, comment, and add.

Imagine this simple platonic conversation with a girl friend:

YOU: I like your dress.

HER: Thanks. It's from MACY'S, my SISTER gave it to me for my BIRTHDAY.


Step one is to pick a topic off of what she says. Now, you have three topics to choose from, 1.) Macys, 2.) Sisters, 3.) Birthdays, which I've capitalized above. You should master the ability to pick up on potential topics as they come up.

Step two is to comment on one of them. I choose birthdays.

YOU: For my birthday, I got an awesome cookware set.

(note that it doesn't have to relate to her story at all. in fact, as the man, you should be driving the conversation)


Step three is to add a couple additional topics, so that she can pick and comment.

YOU: I like your DRESS.

HER: Thanks, it's from MACY'S. I got it from my SISTER for my BIRTHDAY.

YOU: For my birthday, I got an awesome COOKWARE SET. I love DIFFERENT FOODS. I want to TRAVEL the world and learn about gourmet dishes.

HER: I love cheesecake...


And round and around we go. Note that you could have gone off in to a story at any point here. What this lets you do is hold a conversation with as few questions as possible, it also allows you to control the direction of the conversation.

[Guest]

Boo~ I saw your post about storytelling, but missed this one! Good work, This is definitely My biggest problem. Looking forward to a post about Emotional Intelligence

[Guest]

It's amazing how simple this concept is, yet so many are not good conversationalists...

Good post Grimm

[Guest]

The underlying key to this technique is to create several topics that you can explore with the person you're talking with without asking questions. That's where most guys fuck up, they ask too many questions and it grows old and trying for a woman. Conversations should have a flow to them, it should be back and forth, not an interview.

Good post Grimm.

[Guest]

Yup, that sums it up.

Muk, if I knew all about Emotional Intelligence I'd write up the post. I'm still figuring shit out.

[Guest]

Now what would make this absolutely great is a 2nd tier of stories that are built to hit attraction switches!

I love this technique... one of the best things I got from my boot camp was the power of story telling. I just finished watching a story telling DVD.

The concept of how to get to telling attraction stories isn't always so smooth. Never mind that you tell different stories at different times.

Funny.. so many guys are practicing openers and tricks... when conversational banter and stories that DHV are critical to move beyond approach and attraction.

It would be easy to come up with what 2-3 of the most common answers are and then thread a story from that. Kick ass!

It's like panning for gold... you my friend have put a light bulb over my head!!!

[Guest]

[QUOTE=bigdprince;35956]Now what would make this absolutely great is a 2nd tier of stories that are built to hit attraction switches!

I love this technique... one of the best things I got from my boot camp was the power of story telling. I just finished watching a story telling DVD.

The concept of how to get to telling attraction stories isn't always so smooth. Never mind that you tell different stories at different times.

Funny.. so many guys are practicing openers and tricks... when conversational banter and stories that DHV are critical to move beyond approach and attraction.

It would be easy to come up with what 2-3 of the most common answers are and then thread a story from that. Kick ass!

It's like panning for gold... you my friend have put a light bulb over my head!!![/QUOTE]

Or, you could be genuine and come up with your own stories.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Smirks;35959]Or, you could be genuine and come up with your own stories.[/QUOTE]


Well absolutely.... the stories are your own.

I've had so many different experiences in my life, but being able to break down your stories and understand the attraction switches in them is big.

Sometimes, I think some guys have a hard time recalling life events.

Are you inferring that the stories are 'canned'? If so... man, I agree with you all the way. Everyone should have their own.