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Need some help with younger women.
12 posts
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by Guest » Tue Feb 23, 2010 1:56 pm
A girl who is 22 and a girl who is 27 think differently. So we sort of need to know these girls ages to offer the best advice.
Since I am about your age I will offer my take from experience. I will speak in generalities since it also depends on the value of the girl - or at least the value the girl thinks she is. When I was active in the community I only dated one girl older than me. I think she had a few months. Most girls aged about 25 or so on average although it swung from 19-30.
Most girls in the lower range are still in party mode. They haven't quite gotten to the point of settling down. These girls typically have more than one suitor lined up. These girls also usually have more options in regards to just girlfriends. At this age many of their girlfriends are still around, not married, tugging at them. These girls are still bouncing around in life trying to figure out what they want. They are not opposed to a boyfriend at all, but are ok with being single as well. They are seeing signs all the time that guys are interested in them.
When you scale up to about the 24-25 range is when girls start to think a little differently. They have added 5-10 lbs and just aren't quite put together as they were when they were 22. They are much more mature and poised but their looks are slightly fading. They are starting to realize time is catching up and they had better start settling down. Keep in mind I am speaking in generalities here. These girls are more open to a relationship than they were at 22. They aren't quite as wild and probably don't have as many people tugging them in different directions. Their girlfriends are starting to take on careers, husbands, children, etc.
Heading up to the 27+ range girls are once again slightly different. Many at this age are starting to get JADED on dating. They are more scared to open up to the random guy. They require more dates to get into bed. They require an actual Dinner. These girls if they are career driven at all are usually on their path or maybe even in their dream job. These girls don't have many friends around. Once again they have moved, married, have kids, etc. These girls have much more time on their hands and it isn't rare to spend a lot of time with them if you choose. They are usually open to cooking you dinner or taking you out multiple times a week. Like I said above these girls will be slightly more guarded. They have seen every trick in the book and most things will not work on them. They are not as geared to just sleeping around like they would in their early 20's.
That is my take. I don't know why your girl didn't call you back. She might very well be intimidated by your success and where you are in life. Who knows. She might also just be one of the billion flakes in the world. And she might have picked up on something about you that she didn't like and chose to walk. Rehash your night and see if you can remember her being put off by something you said during dinner. You could have 9 qualities she loves but one she just can't handle.
Since I am about your age I will offer my take from experience. I will speak in generalities since it also depends on the value of the girl - or at least the value the girl thinks she is. When I was active in the community I only dated one girl older than me. I think she had a few months. Most girls aged about 25 or so on average although it swung from 19-30.
Most girls in the lower range are still in party mode. They haven't quite gotten to the point of settling down. These girls typically have more than one suitor lined up. These girls also usually have more options in regards to just girlfriends. At this age many of their girlfriends are still around, not married, tugging at them. These girls are still bouncing around in life trying to figure out what they want. They are not opposed to a boyfriend at all, but are ok with being single as well. They are seeing signs all the time that guys are interested in them.
When you scale up to about the 24-25 range is when girls start to think a little differently. They have added 5-10 lbs and just aren't quite put together as they were when they were 22. They are much more mature and poised but their looks are slightly fading. They are starting to realize time is catching up and they had better start settling down. Keep in mind I am speaking in generalities here. These girls are more open to a relationship than they were at 22. They aren't quite as wild and probably don't have as many people tugging them in different directions. Their girlfriends are starting to take on careers, husbands, children, etc.
Heading up to the 27+ range girls are once again slightly different. Many at this age are starting to get JADED on dating. They are more scared to open up to the random guy. They require more dates to get into bed. They require an actual Dinner. These girls if they are career driven at all are usually on their path or maybe even in their dream job. These girls don't have many friends around. Once again they have moved, married, have kids, etc. These girls have much more time on their hands and it isn't rare to spend a lot of time with them if you choose. They are usually open to cooking you dinner or taking you out multiple times a week. Like I said above these girls will be slightly more guarded. They have seen every trick in the book and most things will not work on them. They are not as geared to just sleeping around like they would in their early 20's.
That is my take. I don't know why your girl didn't call you back. She might very well be intimidated by your success and where you are in life. Who knows. She might also just be one of the billion flakes in the world. And she might have picked up on something about you that she didn't like and chose to walk. Rehash your night and see if you can remember her being put off by something you said during dinner. You could have 9 qualities she loves but one she just can't handle.
- Guest
by Guest » Tue Feb 23, 2010 2:30 pm
UHO,
The first thing I noticed is that you called and texted way too much. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, all after a date on Thursday. After the Thursday date I would not have texted her until mid-week. She invited you out, so let her text you. If she doesn't, don't worry about it. Have fun on your weekend. Text her midweek and set up a new date. If you *must* text her the day after simply say "I'm here at so-and-so bar, come say hi".
Getting the younger girls:
You are probably right when you say you project that you have your act together. The younger girls do not have their act together and could be intimidated. What I would do is not tell them what my profession was. Project a bit of irresponsibility maybe. Be like Eddie Murphy in Coming to America and hide it.
Her: "So what do you do?"
You (with a big smile on your face):
"I'm a garbageman"
"I'm a janitor at my old high-school"
"I'm unemployed and I live with my grandparents"
"I'm a cashier at McDonalds"
"I'm a roadie for the Jonas Brothers"
Side note: I read this article and immediately thought of this post. Check it out. Maybe it will help.
[url]http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/12/09/the-look-of-confidence/[/url]
The first thing I noticed is that you called and texted way too much. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, all after a date on Thursday. After the Thursday date I would not have texted her until mid-week. She invited you out, so let her text you. If she doesn't, don't worry about it. Have fun on your weekend. Text her midweek and set up a new date. If you *must* text her the day after simply say "I'm here at so-and-so bar, come say hi".
Getting the younger girls:
You are probably right when you say you project that you have your act together. The younger girls do not have their act together and could be intimidated. What I would do is not tell them what my profession was. Project a bit of irresponsibility maybe. Be like Eddie Murphy in Coming to America and hide it.
Her: "So what do you do?"
You (with a big smile on your face):
"I'm a garbageman"
"I'm a janitor at my old high-school"
"I'm unemployed and I live with my grandparents"
"I'm a cashier at McDonalds"
"I'm a roadie for the Jonas Brothers"
Side note: I read this article and immediately thought of this post. Check it out. Maybe it will help.
[url]http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/12/09/the-look-of-confidence/[/url]
- Guest
by Guest » Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:22 pm
Lion's right about contacting her too much.
As for hiding your profession, I almost always do the same and usually only tell them after they've asked several times.
I concur with much that PC had to say. Although I think that single, attractive women almost always have a suitor lined up somewhere.
Younger girls (post college, but pre-25) tend to be very casual in their relationships because they are not really sexually confident.
Women that are 25-30 start looking for a serious relationship and become more aggressive but only because they want a man. I've found that they also tend to have slightly higher expectations. Like, PC said, wine and dine type of girls. And most have zero idea how to treat a guy and what to, realistically, expect.
Women that are 30+ have, mostly likely, been in and out of several relationships, even a marriage. And, they tend to be much, much more realistic about men and relationships. I've found them to be very sexually confident and expressive. I've also found that they don't care that much if you wine and dine them, they just want you to be geniune and fun. These women also tend to be more independent and are generally less of a pain-in-the-ass about requiring a ton of time from you. But, if they want kids, their clock is ticking...and that can be annoying as fuck.
As for hiding your profession, I almost always do the same and usually only tell them after they've asked several times.
I concur with much that PC had to say. Although I think that single, attractive women almost always have a suitor lined up somewhere.
Younger girls (post college, but pre-25) tend to be very casual in their relationships because they are not really sexually confident.
Women that are 25-30 start looking for a serious relationship and become more aggressive but only because they want a man. I've found that they also tend to have slightly higher expectations. Like, PC said, wine and dine type of girls. And most have zero idea how to treat a guy and what to, realistically, expect.
Women that are 30+ have, mostly likely, been in and out of several relationships, even a marriage. And, they tend to be much, much more realistic about men and relationships. I've found them to be very sexually confident and expressive. I've also found that they don't care that much if you wine and dine them, they just want you to be geniune and fun. These women also tend to be more independent and are generally less of a pain-in-the-ass about requiring a ton of time from you. But, if they want kids, their clock is ticking...and that can be annoying as fuck.
- Guest
by Guest » Tue Feb 23, 2010 4:48 pm
I guess I am just the opposite about telling girls what you do. I have found that girls are very receptive to a guy who is successful or going in the right direction. I always came off better when I told a girl what I did and she could see for herself that I was successful. When I was active I was at the height of my career and the most financially well off in my life. When I brought a girl home it was hard for her not to know I was successful. This was never a bad thing. I would say the girls were more attracted to me because of my house. Now I probably came off a little more boyfriend material type because of it but so be it.
Unless you are a millionaire or make 500k+ a year there is no reason to hide your success. Unless you are at this level there is really nothing to hide. You make 100k a year? Big deal. You drive a 30k car? Big deal. That is really just the norm these days and unfortunately not that special. Trust me a girl is not going to be digging your gold if you are at this level.
Now if you start showing up in a 75k+ car, sporting a 500k+ house, and dropping C Notes like they are dollar bills you might want to start covering your tracks. Unless of course you don't care if you are with a gold digger.
Consider where you are at in your career a good thing and a DHV. Don't flaunt it or brag but just nonchalantly talk about it. Girls, at any level want to know you have a good head on your shoulders and are going somewhere. The whole janitor, burger king type job is funny but should be followed up with the truth. If you always bullshit about your career it will eventually come off as a DLV and make you look like shit.
This entirely all depends on if you are just trying to shag a girl or find someone for a relationship. You can change your game up to match what you are going for. I have tried both ways and I eventually realized it just worked to my advantage to tell them what I did, and be modest.
Unless you are a millionaire or make 500k+ a year there is no reason to hide your success. Unless you are at this level there is really nothing to hide. You make 100k a year? Big deal. You drive a 30k car? Big deal. That is really just the norm these days and unfortunately not that special. Trust me a girl is not going to be digging your gold if you are at this level.
Now if you start showing up in a 75k+ car, sporting a 500k+ house, and dropping C Notes like they are dollar bills you might want to start covering your tracks. Unless of course you don't care if you are with a gold digger.
Consider where you are at in your career a good thing and a DHV. Don't flaunt it or brag but just nonchalantly talk about it. Girls, at any level want to know you have a good head on your shoulders and are going somewhere. The whole janitor, burger king type job is funny but should be followed up with the truth. If you always bullshit about your career it will eventually come off as a DLV and make you look like shit.
This entirely all depends on if you are just trying to shag a girl or find someone for a relationship. You can change your game up to match what you are going for. I have tried both ways and I eventually realized it just worked to my advantage to tell them what I did, and be modest.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Feb 24, 2010 10:10 am
[QUOTE=UncleHOwie;35097]Thanks for the feedback guys. Appreciate it.
This girl actually texted back last night saying it was nice meeting me but she didn't feel we had anything in common.
There was a point during our date that she asked me what I did for a living and what my family did. So I told her in a nonchalant manner. Right after I was done, she says "oh, my family is pretty poor". I quickly changed the conversation. This must be have been what she meant by not having anything in common. Its the only logical difference that surfaced. But we all know women aren't really logical thinkers!
She also mentioned that she had some credit card debt she was trying to pay off and was concerned with how she was going to come up with $1000 to put brakes on her car. She did have a plan and goals to pay off her debt which I complimented her for. I was actually impressed when she mentioned the topic. Most will try and hide that kind of stuff. It let me know she was up front and open and not afraid to talk about it.
So perhaps she feels bad about her financial situation. She also mentioned she wasn't good with money and as much as she brought the topic up it was obvious this was a big deal for her. The fact that she figured out I had some and she didn't had to of been an issue for her.
I was kind of bummed out about the entire deal. I've been on a butt load of dates before but have never been wrong on my conclusion on where a relationship might go after the first date. There was postive energy during the date and she was the one that suggested we meet up sometime that weekend. So we both left excited about the possibilities.
There's more out there where I found this one no doubt so I'll continue forging ahead on my mission to become a better person and maybe I'll find a woman worth keeping along the way.[/QUOTE]
You might be overthinking it. She might just be a young, fickle girl who doesn't know what she wants. She might have said that you don't have anything in common because that's what people say on TV when they break up.
This girl actually texted back last night saying it was nice meeting me but she didn't feel we had anything in common.
There was a point during our date that she asked me what I did for a living and what my family did. So I told her in a nonchalant manner. Right after I was done, she says "oh, my family is pretty poor". I quickly changed the conversation. This must be have been what she meant by not having anything in common. Its the only logical difference that surfaced. But we all know women aren't really logical thinkers!
She also mentioned that she had some credit card debt she was trying to pay off and was concerned with how she was going to come up with $1000 to put brakes on her car. She did have a plan and goals to pay off her debt which I complimented her for. I was actually impressed when she mentioned the topic. Most will try and hide that kind of stuff. It let me know she was up front and open and not afraid to talk about it.
So perhaps she feels bad about her financial situation. She also mentioned she wasn't good with money and as much as she brought the topic up it was obvious this was a big deal for her. The fact that she figured out I had some and she didn't had to of been an issue for her.
I was kind of bummed out about the entire deal. I've been on a butt load of dates before but have never been wrong on my conclusion on where a relationship might go after the first date. There was postive energy during the date and she was the one that suggested we meet up sometime that weekend. So we both left excited about the possibilities.
There's more out there where I found this one no doubt so I'll continue forging ahead on my mission to become a better person and maybe I'll find a woman worth keeping along the way.[/QUOTE]
You might be overthinking it. She might just be a young, fickle girl who doesn't know what she wants. She might have said that you don't have anything in common because that's what people say on TV when they break up.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Feb 24, 2010 10:43 am
One of the best lessons I've learned from The Community is that you shouldn't even bother with trying to figure out why a girl does or doesn't like you. If they do, then great just be yourself. If they don't, then fine go find another one. Worrying why some fickle, silly girl isn't interested is an exercise in futility.
I doubt, very highly, that it had anything to do with your financial position versus her financial position. Has it occurred to you that maybe she was fishing for financial assistance and you didn't bite? Never before have I been out with a girl that mentioned their debt, large impending expenses, or their financial position. Maybe they casually mention that they're good, or bad, with money. But never any specifics.
I was out with a chick once and she told me that she had just moved into a new place with a 'roommate,' but she had to move out in a month and asked me if I wanted a roommate. She played it off as a joke, but I didn't get a good feeling from it...I excused myself from the table, acted like I was going to the bathroom, gave our waitress like $10 for the tab, then walked the fuck out. No goodbyes, nothing. I was so disguisted that I just fucking left.
I doubt, very highly, that it had anything to do with your financial position versus her financial position. Has it occurred to you that maybe she was fishing for financial assistance and you didn't bite? Never before have I been out with a girl that mentioned their debt, large impending expenses, or their financial position. Maybe they casually mention that they're good, or bad, with money. But never any specifics.
I was out with a chick once and she told me that she had just moved into a new place with a 'roommate,' but she had to move out in a month and asked me if I wanted a roommate. She played it off as a joke, but I didn't get a good feeling from it...I excused myself from the table, acted like I was going to the bathroom, gave our waitress like $10 for the tab, then walked the fuck out. No goodbyes, nothing. I was so disguisted that I just fucking left.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Feb 24, 2010 7:23 pm
UHO,
Here is the problem: [B]Young girls like assholes exclusively.[/B] They are not mature enough to appreciate a slightly nicer guy. Next time douche it up and she will probably be all over you. Do not be so nice to them. And don't take them to dinner for the first date. That's a nice guy thing to do. Take her out for drinks only.
Next time she asks your profession use fake, jokey answers until she draaaaaaaaaaags your real profession out of you. In fact don't answer any serious questions without making her laugh and making her work for your answer. A great answer for any and every question is "12 inches...oh wait, what did you ask again?"
Instead of calling her "sunshine", call her "hooker". One thing I like to do is refer to them as "Man", "Bro", "Mang", "Dude" for my own amusement, it usually gets a quick response.
Here is the problem: [B]Young girls like assholes exclusively.[/B] They are not mature enough to appreciate a slightly nicer guy. Next time douche it up and she will probably be all over you. Do not be so nice to them. And don't take them to dinner for the first date. That's a nice guy thing to do. Take her out for drinks only.
Next time she asks your profession use fake, jokey answers until she draaaaaaaaaaags your real profession out of you. In fact don't answer any serious questions without making her laugh and making her work for your answer. A great answer for any and every question is "12 inches...oh wait, what did you ask again?"
Instead of calling her "sunshine", call her "hooker". One thing I like to do is refer to them as "Man", "Bro", "Mang", "Dude" for my own amusement, it usually gets a quick response.
- Guest
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