Social Circle, Multiple Women, Player

[Guest]

I've been gaming a lot of my 'extended social circle' (friends of friends of friends etc). Today, HB8 scuba introduced me to her friend HB8.5 dimples as a player, and commented on how I'm gonna get her number by the end of the night. It kind of shocked me...because that's exactly what I was going to do, and did.

But what I don't get is why scuba called me a player. I'm fun and social to everyone. I kino everyone and talk to everyone. This week, I've been called this by two different girls in different circles.

Please help me dissect what is happening. Below is a little more details on how I am when I'm around people
-I flirt a lot...and build a lot of attraction with the HBs in the group
--I qualify a little, then move onto the next HB and repeat
--It gets sexual pretty fast
-Other people, whether they're guys or girls, I still socialize with and make it fun. I even sometimes flirt with the chubby ones.
--I focus more on comfort with the non-hbs
-I kino everyone (even the dudes, YEAH!!!!). I hug all the girls a lot

I've been thinking about my approach, and based on the responses I'm getting, maybe I should change some things. Please comment on my statements and questions.
1) It seems like some of the HBs are either (a) offended (b) jealous whenever I flirt with the other HBs. My thoughts up till now was "Hey I'm building a lot of social proof! Thanks Mystery!!" But now I'm wondering if it's hurting my chances with scuba. To generalize (greatly), would it be better to err on the side of flirting too much or too little?
2) Related to question 1. Should I focus on one girl only if I'm interested in her and she seems interested in me? I feel like I've been worrying too much about trying to socialize with everyone
3) Do my actions seem player-ish? My intention are to enjoy myself and everyone else. Maybe I'm conveying too much interest without knowing it?
4) What's the difference being a cool, fun, social guy and being a player?

Thanks guys!

[Guest]

[QUOTE=sooners123;35079]I've been gaming a lot of my 'extended social circle' (friends of friends of friends etc). Today, HB8 scuba introduced me to her friend HB8.5 dimples as a player, and commented on how I'm gonna get her number by the end of the night. It kind of shocked me...because that's exactly what I was going to do, and did.

But what I don't get is why scuba called me a player. I'm fun and social to everyone. I kino everyone and talk to everyone. This week, I've been called this by two different girls in different circles.

Please help me dissect what is happening. Below is a little more details on how I am when I'm around people
-I flirt a lot...and build a lot of attraction with the HBs in the group
--I qualify a little, then move onto the next HB and repeat
--It gets sexual pretty fast
-Other people, whether they're guys or girls, I still socialize with and make it fun. I even sometimes flirt with the chubby ones.
--I focus more on comfort with the non-hbs
-I kino everyone (even the dudes, YEAH!!!!). I hug all the girls a lot

I've been thinking about my approach, and based on the responses I'm getting, maybe I should change some things. Please comment on my statements and questions.
1) It seems like some of the HBs are either (a) offended (b) jealous whenever I flirt with the other HBs. My thoughts up till now was "Hey I'm building a lot of social proof! Thanks Mystery!!" But now I'm wondering if it's hurting my chances with scuba. To generalize (greatly), would it be better to err on the side of flirting too much or too little?
2) Related to question 1. Should I focus on one girl only if I'm interested in her and she seems interested in me? I feel like I've been worrying too much about trying to socialize with everyone
3) Do my actions seem player-ish? My intention are to enjoy myself and everyone else. Maybe I'm conveying too much interest without knowing it?
4) What's the difference being a cool, fun, social guy and being a player?

Thanks guys![/QUOTE]

Perhaps you are trying too hard. Ask yourself who you are trying to impress! Being a player has 2 sides to it. It lets women know you have what it takes to attract women but when you go too far with it they don't take you seriously. In the end women don't date players. Not sure what your goals are here.

I wouldn't pride myself on getting dimples digits. Thats pretty standard since you were her friends friend.

There's nothing wrong with being social, but reign it in a little and tone down the sexual parts. No need to go over the top unless you want to look like a social slut.

Most likely these girls are both offended and jealous.......like I mentioned earlier there are 2 sides to it. It sounds like you have gotten the good out of it and then some. If you want something more from any of these girls you need to focus your efforts on one girl and back off the player ways or you doing more harm than good. My buddy and I run into this all the time when we run game in a strip club.

[Guest]

Why do you focus more on comfort with the non-HBs? Why don't you work on comfort with everyone?

That stuck out to me. Maybe the HBs see you as a guy who has all the HBs attracted, who is touchy and sexual, who works a room, but has no emotional connections with attractive women, just sexual. That could explain the "player" label.

[Guest]

@unclehowie
interesting insight. I'm not trying to impress anyone. I'm there to genuinely have a good time and to meet new people. But as I think about it more, I'm not entirely sure what my goals are. In hindsight, I have built up a pretty good connection with scuba, but I may have strained it a little due to my actions. I am very attracted to her and like a lot about her. She is a lot taller than me...probably 6". I'm still getti over a limiting belief of mine, that a taller woman wouldn't want to be with a shorter guy. So I came into it with the goal of at least building a friendship. But as I got to know her my intentions are changing...although I can't quite figure out what they are. Come to think of it, all of the girls I'm around now are HB tall. I think I'm stuck because I don't know what I want to make out of it

I agree with you about the taking t over the top part. I am stuck in attraction and not building enough emotional connection

so, next time I would like to focus on scuba. What are your thoughts on going sexual with her? Should I isolate her first?

I am proud that I got dimples number. A month ago I would still be hesitating. I am much more natural about getting numbers and kino escalating now.

@rhody
After thinking about it more. I did build up a connection with scuba. But, when I say I build comfort with the others, I mean lower energy and less flirting. I am more careful about it because one o he needy girls in the group won't stop bugging me.


So, my approach now will be to focus on gaming scuba. On the others...to be honest...I don't know how to treat them. I've got a fun playful energy with everyone. Do I do less attraction and more comfort?

[Guest]

Sooner- In regards to the number deal, after you've been at this game a while "numbers" don't matter. You realize they simply don't mean shit. They are kind of like those little gold stars your mom put next to your name when you did your chores as a little kid. I'm not aware of your level, but if you are just starting out then congrats on your improvement.

To further your relationship with ScubaDoobyDoo, I would work on building more of a deeper connection. Show a vested interest. I would hesitate at using anything sexual because you have already established your self as a player in her eyes. You kind of need to down play all that by focusing attention on other attractive attributes you have to offer and it needs to come across as sincere. Then, when you've got this in place, slip some sexual attraction moves on her and proceed to the bed room.

[Guest]

Sooner - I have some radically different viewpoints on this. First of all social circle game is it's own beast entirely. In a lot of ways it's kinda low risk, high reward. That being said it is also a slower proccess than approach. I have an entire theory on how this works (don't worry working on that post). Being called a player by another girl in your circle is so far from a bad thing, quite the opposite. There is an entire seductive charactoristic that identifies this (the rake). The only bad thing would be a. you denying it, or b. you claiming to be a player on your own. I'm sure you remember that guy in highschool that all the girls warned eachother about. They were like watch out for him he's trouble... yet half of them fucked him. Still he never came across as the bad guy. a little notorious maybe but never bad or evil. As far as gaming scuba. What does dhv story telling, and a social circle have in common? They are both tools to raise your value. Be the social butterfly that you are. Pay attention to everything but her for the most part, but make your interactions with her count. See what you don't realize is that you kinda get to skip the comfort phase because she sees that all your friends are comfortable with you. Go heavy with the attraction. Be dominant in your frame with her. Be sincere, and even a little more selective with your kinoing of her (mostly when it's just you and her and more in the moments when you are running attraction material). Why you ask. This almost trains her thought patterns. When i'm around sooner and our friends i wish he was paying attention to me... When it's just me and sooner you get the idea right. This keeps how comfortable you are with everyone from making you look soft or friend material. Remember just cause she thinks of you as a sexual t-rex doesn't mean she won't be your friend anymore, but if you become her friend first it will be more challenging to go back and make her attracted to you again.

[Guest]

@ UncleHowie - I like where your head's at couldn't agree more. There has to be some sort of reward for her investing in you and it can't be the same as the reward everyone in the group gets (your charming social personality). Otherwise you are the fast track to the friendzone.