Seducing a friend

[rockinboy]

I work with this girl, who's a long time friend of mine. I've always had a small crush on her, but I've never advanced on it, due to our long friendship. Plus, I just don't think she's interested. She's damn picky. She's 31 (I'm 30) and since I've known her, I don't think she's had one long term boyfriend, at all.

We hang out sometimes, with other friends involved.

But I see her M-F at work.

Any tips or advice on seducing her, without "using" her, or playing her too badly. Remember, she's also somewhat of a friend. (I say somewhat, because I mean... I'd love to throw down with her, as well, haha)

[Finesse]

Its hard to start a intimate relationship with a women who has been a friend for a while.

You might want to try a statement of intent (SOI). Your frame has to be right though, or it wont work.

What you do though really just depends on ya'lls relationship, since youre already in the friend zone it's hard to get out of that.

[Welsh_Dragon]

Alright. First of all having never been in the friend zone I may not be qualified to answer this ... but ...

My firm belief, always has been and always will be, is that a man cannot truly be "friends" with a woman he would fuck. I suspect the same also to be true for women however they have more exceptions to everything in life. Due to this fact I have not and will not ever be friends with a woman I would fuck. I can be an acquaintance but there is a difference.


Dictionary definition

Friend
one attached to another by affection or esteem

Acquaintance
a person whom one knows but who is not a particularly close friend


We have already ascertained that you want to fuck her. Now your world has shifted 180 degrees and it's either fuck her or she is out of your life. Use all your skills if you have any to manipulate the fact she trusts you at this point. Working against you is my above stated fact that I suspect women follow my rule too (i.e. she is not attracted to you). Lucky for you they have more exceptions than men.


On another note, Finesse - why do you have a quote from Westfall as your tag line? I am curious.

[hooks]

if it goes bad you have to see her every day... hate to make another ladder theory comment so soon after my last but read it... trying to jump from the friends ladder to the good ladder can lead to getting kicked to the abyss... which is bad enough if you dont have to see the person every day... it can be done but are you willing to risk the consequences

[Welsh_Dragon]

Not sure what ladder theory is but it seems pretty simple to me. If she is a work colleague put her back into acquaintance or shoot for her if you are willing to take the hit. Lean and don't get into this situation again.

[Finesse]

On another note, Finesse - why do you have a quote from Westfall as your tag line? I am curious.

I think the quote is hilarious.

[hooks]

Not sure what ladder theory is but it seems pretty simple to me. If she is a work colleague put her back into acquaintence or shoot for her if you are willing to take the hit. Lean and don't get into this situation again.

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

[rockinboy]

Ok, it's not that I just want to fuck her.

I mean, yeah, I do. But I was wondering, is it possible to use some tactics to initiate something beyond that, with a friend? Say I did wanna go out with her, on a regular basis. Is there some way to use some of the techniques to get a friend to that point?

[MagicBalls]

Ask her to go boating/jet skiing or something fun and innocent on a Sunny Saturday. From time to time, talk about sex in the way that friends/coworkes talk about sex. Tell sex jokes, discuss issues of sex and sexualtiy, funny sexual experiences etc. But not the whole day, just a little here and there to where she'll have thoughts of you in that sense.

Then take her to your place for something fun... movies, mixed drinks, etc. Get her drunk, fuck her, and the next day tell her you don't want to talk about it, that it was just something that just happened, and that you'd rather continue just being friend. Give her lots of space at work. (Kinda like a push/pull thing).

It will allow her to continue her business at work, but you and her will know that now that line's been crossed, the opportunity will always be there, the next time you and her somehow end up alone together. Who knows, you might get a booty call in the middle of the night.

I've done the push/pull thing with someone at work. She's not only beautiful, but quality as well. Just gotta be sure you give them space but don't be afraid to get up close to them and flirt with them from time to time so that your window doesn't close.

[Scoundrel]

First of all I think it’s a bad idea to sarge the women you work with. If things go bad how would you feel about going into work everyday and seeing your X? And there’s the possibility of a sexual harassment case being brought up. If you like your job, you shouldn’t be doing this.

But if you must, you must.

First, stop hanging out with her! NOW! If you want out of the friend box YOU must to leave it. Give her a chance to miss you being around.

Talk about fun things you’re doing, but not with her. Let her hear you telling someone else. Is there a man you could tell about a great date you had with a girl that had a “heart shaped ass.”

Have flowers sent to you at work with a card that says “Thanks for a wonderful night.” And don’t buy cheap flowers!

After a while she’ll be thinking of you differently. She may even come to you and ask you out.