Why do my platonic girlfriends hate all the girl's I'm into?

[Guest]

This being the general discussion section, I thought it'd be a good place to throw this out. I'm not thinking about this in terms of any kind of specific PU stradegy (i.e. I have no goal or desired outcome in mind by asking this question), but I assume that understanding the psychology behind this can come in handy later on down the road.

I have a lot of platonic girlfriends. At this point in my life they're not firends because I ended up getting LJBFed. No. I like them as friends, and at times they're also [I]useful[/I] to me as friends. Other times, circumstances are such that it would not be a good idea to go any further with them than just friends.

I've noticed that a lot of these girls have been very disapproving of the women I've been dating/seeing recently. Even sometimes, a girl I might just be merely checking out, walking down the street or something, gets their disapproval. It seems as though in their eyes no girl is ever good enough for me. I'm wondering if this is the result of some sort of subtle attraction.

Recently I had a discussion with a PGF. She has a boyfriend, but we were both talking about a mutual guy friend who is not her boyfriend who she has a crush on. She knows she has a crush on him and she knows I know. This guy just began dating/fooling around with a new girl that this PGF totally disapproves of. The girl is cute, but my PGF started calling her a dyke. Said she confronted the guyy "as a friend" to tell him that getting involved with that girl is not a good idea. Hmmmmmm....where have I heard that before?

Anyway, in that instance there was obvious attraction, and my PGF was clearly being jealous. Is it safe to assume that this is the case most of the time? Or is it just that I'm drawn to the most horrible women in the world (at least from a female perspective)?

[Guest]

i think for two reasons.

1) she likes you and is jealous so she is using a "girl destroyer." she may not even know that she is into you. generally speaking, when a girl is jealous, there are some feelings there...

2) she truly is a friend and is just looking out for your best interest. kind of like how a sister/best friend/brother would tell you that a girl is not "right" for you...

i honestly believe that in 90% of the situations, she secretly is crushing on you...

..just sayin'

[Guest]

I believe the girls are jealous (in your case). Not necessarily because she has a crush on you, but she likes to have you around as an option. I mean...how nice is it to know and feel validated that someone likes you when you're feeling low self esteem? What happens whenever she is continuously rejected and you're no longer interested?

[Guest]

Girls are catty. Just deal with it. I've never, ever, ever had a platonic girlfriend tell me that the girl I was with was 'worthy' of me. They always say that I could do better...

My next door neighbor and I used to hang out all the time. It was ALWAYS platonic because she's always had a boyfriend and because she lives like 2 feet away from me so it would be weird and awkward.

Anyway, she has never, ever liked any girl I've ever brought around her. In my opinion, the reasons are two-fold: she has several friends that have shown interest in me that I am not interested in (so she thinks I should be with one of them and since I choose girls that aren't them then they aren't good enough for me) AND she, and girls in general, are very territorial. When I was single, before the Community, she and I and her friend hung out a lot...but, once I started pulling chicks I stopped hanging with them as much. So, she, and her friends, lost that validation from me.

In short, it comes down to two things: they're jealous AND/OR she, or her friends, are interested in you.

[Guest]

I have a shit ton of 100% platonic girl friends. My BEST friend is female. I too get constant disapproval of any girl I date, hook up with, and even just engage when we're out.

I think a small percentage of this is related to romantic feelings they have toward me. Granted, there are a couple instances where that has reared it's ugly head...but not often enough to make a blanket statement over the whole.

I think it relates more so to their perception of who and what you are. Girls generally think most guys are tools. You, on the other hand, are seen in a different light. She knows you're not a tool. She knows you're a stand up guy. She knows that a good girl would be lucky to have a chance at you. She probably also thinks that she and her friends are the pinnacle of female perfection...so you need to be with someone like them. You're not asking for their opinion on these girls before you show interest in them....and she feels that she should have an say in the matter. Girls have an opinion about everything! Plus, having another girl around who can gain your attention means less attention for her. Whether she admits it or not, you're filling some need she has...and she doesn't want that to go away because some floozy you met in a bar steps in the picture.

Summary of my babbling: Guys put girls on pedestals in a romantic way, girls seem to do it in a platonic way.