[QUOTE=Bull Run;33162]AND, there it is!!!
Secure.
You qualified what type of woman would be OK with our antics, for lack of a better word. But, I don't think you really get it. There is no such thing as a secure woman. Period. They do not exist.
I know you've been in situations in which you thought to yourself, why is my LTR being such a bitch for no good, legit reason. The answer is simple. Attention. Women are like children in that they just want YOUR attention. They don't care how the get it. Be it good or bad, they just want you to pay them some attention. They want to be the center of your life.[/QUOTE]
I disagree. I believe they act this way as a test. They want to see if you will be loving and understanding or if you will act like a child and get defensive. They want to see if you will love them for all their flaws or if you will turn and walk away. They want to see if you will be the strong one and tell her when she's gone too far or if you will be a doormat. Most of all, they want to see if you will still be standing there after the storm.
[quote]Have you ever noticed that when you have a busy week at the office and don't get to see the woman you're with very often that they become irritated with you? It's not your fault that you have other things going on in your life. It is what it is. BUT, when those other things are not her, she freaks the fuck out.
Women are attention whores. And, the reason for that desire is fundamentally rooted in the fact that they are not secure enough in themselves to just be. Someone that is secure will simply live their life without regard to whether or not they are getting any attention. A woman on the other hand has to have your full attention. Good or bad.[/quote]
I don't see the problem here. Women are emotional creatures, not logical creatures. They go where their emotions take them. If my woman "freaked out" because I worked too much, I would grab her, hug her tightly, swing her around, throw her on the bed, and say, "I missed you so much. Let's enjoy this time we have together." If she continues to rant, I would listen for a few minutes and then say, "ok, I understand how you feel. I'm going downstairs to make a cup of coffee. Come join me when you're ready to enjoy this time together."
Yes, you're right. Women are attention whores. Give them some. What's the problem?
[quote]The reason is obvious, at least to me. Women are incredible at being social. But, with that comes the knowledge that other women are social as well. That is their competition. Men beat the shit out of each other on the playing field. But, women beat the shit out of each other in the social world.
Once you understand that the 'social world' is code for men and relationships you can see that women compete with each other for men. That is their game. Since they know that this is the game, they will always be insecure with the idea that you can build attraction with other women because women know what they are capable of...they know that another woman will try to steal you away from her because that's exactly what she would do!!!
This leads to insecurity.
For any of us that have been in relationships, I know that what I'm saying isn't new. Women need constant reinforcement that they are special and unique. And, that all stems from the fact that they are insecure.
There is no such thing as a secure woman. Period. Kid yourself all you want, but they do not exist.[/quote]
What you say is true to an extent for many women, and dead on for many women. Hey, I'm with you. There are many women out there who have been jerked around by so many men, including their fathers and brothers, that they have no faith in people.
For most women, all you have to do is demonstrate that you are what you are, and they will learn to trust you, which makes them feel more secure. Women are as secure as you allow them to feel. You have to build a track record with them. If you give up your weekly poker night to go to the movies with her, and then a month later insist that you cannot miss it, then you are being inconsistent, which leads to her not trusting you. I don't know you personally, BR. In fact, I think I only met you once or twice years ago. But I suspect that if you honestly look back at your relationships, you might find that you were somewhat inconsistent, which probably led to your woman acting more insecure.
Then again, there are some women who have issues in this area. I just ended my LTR, because I was fighting a losing battle. No matter how consistent I was, she always believed that I was going to walk away. This turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, because she behaved so badly that I couldn't commit to a lifetime of that garbage. In the end, I am one more example of a man who abandoned her, which will make it even worse for the next guy. God help him!
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
I think I am back
30 posts
• Page 3 of 3 • 1, 2, 3
by Guest » Wed Oct 28, 2009 12:22 pm
[QUOTE=Rhody;33482]I disagree. I believe they act this way as a test. They want to see if you will be loving and understanding or if you will act like a child and get defensive. They want to see if you will love them for all their flaws or if you will turn and walk away. They want to see if you will be the strong one and tell her when she's gone too far or if you will be a doormat. Most of all, they want to see if you will still be standing there after the storm.[/QUOTE]
It could very well be a test. But, these types of tests only occur due to her fundamental insecurities. Love her for all her flaws? Yep, insecurity. Listen, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with insecurity or for a woman seeking some reinforcement. But, understand that women are fundamentally insecure.
[QUOTE=Rhody;33482]I don't see the problem here. Women are emotional creatures, not logical creatures. They go where their emotions take them. If my woman "freaked out" because I worked too much, I would grab her, hug her tightly, swing her around, throw her on the bed, and say, "I missed you so much. Let's enjoy this time we have together." If she continues to rant, I would listen for a few minutes and then say, "ok, I understand how you feel. I'm going downstairs to make a cup of coffee. Come join me when you're ready to enjoy this time together."
Yes, you're right. Women are attention whores. Give them some. What's the problem?[/QUOTE]
Never said you shouldn't give them attention. I just think that they need to be more understanding that she is not the center of your life 100% of the time. Everyone plays multiple roles in their lives. One of them is to be her man. But, there are so many others that do not involve her. Again, this relates to women and their fundamental insecurities.
The reality is that attention equates to time. That's really what women want the most from you, your time and devotion. But, Life gets in the way sometimes you know? Since time is finite, sometimes your other priorities take precedent (a sick family member, supporting a friend in distress, and/or being busy at the office). I totally understand why women get frustrated when you don't focus all your attention on them, again insecurity. My beef is that rational things dictate the amount of time/attention you have to focus on her, but she reacts to said attention irrationally. I understand their needs, I can't provide them right now. Why can't they understand why we don't have the capacity to provide them with attention? Why can't they understand that other aspects of our lives get in the way of her time with you? That's the whole point. We make all of the concessions. We understand. But, when they are the slightest bit upset they lose all capacity to do the same.
[QUOTE=Rhody;33482]What you say is true to an extent for many women, and dead on for many women. Hey, I'm with you. There are many women out there who have been jerked around by so many men, including their fathers and brothers, that they have no faith in people.
For most women, all you have to do is demonstrate that you are what you are, and they will learn to trust you, which makes them feel more secure. Women are as secure as you allow them to feel. You have to build a track record with them. If you give up your weekly poker night to go to the movies with her, and then a month later insist that you cannot miss it, then you are being inconsistent, which leads to her not trusting you. I don't know you personally, BR. In fact, I think I only met you once or twice years ago. But I suspect that if you honestly look back at your relationships, you might find that you were somewhat inconsistent, which probably led to your woman acting more insecure.
Then again, there are some women who have issues in this area. I just ended my LTR, because I was fighting a losing battle. No matter how consistent I was, she always believed that I was going to walk away. This turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, because she behaved so badly that I couldn't commit to a lifetime of that garbage. In the end, I am one more example of a man who abandoned her, which will make it even worse for the next guy. God help him![/QUOTE]
I think you're right about the consistency bit. But, I think it ONLY applies to voluntary concessions. Your poker example was awesome. If you stop going to poker, then insist you have to go again she's going to be suspicious, and rightfully so. But, when you make involuntary concessions, such as family or work obligations, that cause you to be inconsistent then she should understand. I often wonder if women truly do have the capacity to logically understand that we cannot provide them with attention 100% of the time.
Obviously, I don't think this applies to all women. But, I think it does apply to virtually 100% of the women that genuinely love you. I think for many women it's hard for them to give all of themselves to men because they have the fundamental insecurity that he could leave or be stolen away. So, I think that woman feels like she's got you then she clamps down on you. Insecurity leads to tyranny. If I'm insecure in myself and in our relationship then I'm going to engage in behavior that restricts your freedom. Women are the same way. And, sometimes I think they're much more prone to doing this.
It could very well be a test. But, these types of tests only occur due to her fundamental insecurities. Love her for all her flaws? Yep, insecurity. Listen, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with insecurity or for a woman seeking some reinforcement. But, understand that women are fundamentally insecure.
[QUOTE=Rhody;33482]I don't see the problem here. Women are emotional creatures, not logical creatures. They go where their emotions take them. If my woman "freaked out" because I worked too much, I would grab her, hug her tightly, swing her around, throw her on the bed, and say, "I missed you so much. Let's enjoy this time we have together." If she continues to rant, I would listen for a few minutes and then say, "ok, I understand how you feel. I'm going downstairs to make a cup of coffee. Come join me when you're ready to enjoy this time together."
Yes, you're right. Women are attention whores. Give them some. What's the problem?[/QUOTE]
Never said you shouldn't give them attention. I just think that they need to be more understanding that she is not the center of your life 100% of the time. Everyone plays multiple roles in their lives. One of them is to be her man. But, there are so many others that do not involve her. Again, this relates to women and their fundamental insecurities.
The reality is that attention equates to time. That's really what women want the most from you, your time and devotion. But, Life gets in the way sometimes you know? Since time is finite, sometimes your other priorities take precedent (a sick family member, supporting a friend in distress, and/or being busy at the office). I totally understand why women get frustrated when you don't focus all your attention on them, again insecurity. My beef is that rational things dictate the amount of time/attention you have to focus on her, but she reacts to said attention irrationally. I understand their needs, I can't provide them right now. Why can't they understand why we don't have the capacity to provide them with attention? Why can't they understand that other aspects of our lives get in the way of her time with you? That's the whole point. We make all of the concessions. We understand. But, when they are the slightest bit upset they lose all capacity to do the same.
[QUOTE=Rhody;33482]What you say is true to an extent for many women, and dead on for many women. Hey, I'm with you. There are many women out there who have been jerked around by so many men, including their fathers and brothers, that they have no faith in people.
For most women, all you have to do is demonstrate that you are what you are, and they will learn to trust you, which makes them feel more secure. Women are as secure as you allow them to feel. You have to build a track record with them. If you give up your weekly poker night to go to the movies with her, and then a month later insist that you cannot miss it, then you are being inconsistent, which leads to her not trusting you. I don't know you personally, BR. In fact, I think I only met you once or twice years ago. But I suspect that if you honestly look back at your relationships, you might find that you were somewhat inconsistent, which probably led to your woman acting more insecure.
Then again, there are some women who have issues in this area. I just ended my LTR, because I was fighting a losing battle. No matter how consistent I was, she always believed that I was going to walk away. This turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, because she behaved so badly that I couldn't commit to a lifetime of that garbage. In the end, I am one more example of a man who abandoned her, which will make it even worse for the next guy. God help him![/QUOTE]
I think you're right about the consistency bit. But, I think it ONLY applies to voluntary concessions. Your poker example was awesome. If you stop going to poker, then insist you have to go again she's going to be suspicious, and rightfully so. But, when you make involuntary concessions, such as family or work obligations, that cause you to be inconsistent then she should understand. I often wonder if women truly do have the capacity to logically understand that we cannot provide them with attention 100% of the time.
Obviously, I don't think this applies to all women. But, I think it does apply to virtually 100% of the women that genuinely love you. I think for many women it's hard for them to give all of themselves to men because they have the fundamental insecurity that he could leave or be stolen away. So, I think that woman feels like she's got you then she clamps down on you. Insecurity leads to tyranny. If I'm insecure in myself and in our relationship then I'm going to engage in behavior that restricts your freedom. Women are the same way. And, sometimes I think they're much more prone to doing this.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Oct 28, 2009 12:22 pm
[QUOTE=Rhody;33482]
I just ended my LTR, because I was fighting a losing battle. No matter how consistent I was, she always believed that I was going to walk away. This turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, because she behaved so badly that I couldn't commit to a lifetime of that garbage. In the end, I am one more example of a man who abandoned her, which will make it even worse for the next guy. God help him![/QUOTE]
Rhody,
This statement only confirms everything that was said in this thread.
It contradicts everything else you said in the above paragraph.
I just ended my LTR, because I was fighting a losing battle. No matter how consistent I was, she always believed that I was going to walk away. This turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, because she behaved so badly that I couldn't commit to a lifetime of that garbage. In the end, I am one more example of a man who abandoned her, which will make it even worse for the next guy. God help him![/QUOTE]
Rhody,
This statement only confirms everything that was said in this thread.
It contradicts everything else you said in the above paragraph.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Oct 28, 2009 2:36 pm
[QUOTE=Bull Run;33487]I think you're right about the consistency bit. But, I think it ONLY applies to voluntary concessions. Your poker example was awesome. If you stop going to poker, then insist you have to go again she's going to be suspicious, and rightfully so. But, when you make involuntary concessions, such as family or work obligations, that cause you to be inconsistent then she should understand. I often wonder if women truly do have the capacity to logically understand that we cannot provide them with attention 100% of the time.[/QUOTE]
I recommend a book called "Hold on to Your N.U.T.s" to all men, even men not in relationships. It describes these types of situations. Your N.U.T.s are your non-negotiable unalterable terms. Spending time with your family or helping a friend in distress or managing your career are non-negotiable and unalterable. Maybe even a poker night could be non-negotiable, as long as you're reasonable and consistent. The book says you just say, "I am going to help my friend because he needs me," and you leave. You let her be mad. You don't defend yourself. Eventually, she will learn how to live with it or she will decide that she cannot accept the terms of the relationship. According to the book, your N.U.T.s are who you are, and if you compromise them for her, you will resent her, and she will lose her respect for you. I think many, many men fall into this trap.
Again, I don't know you, BR, but I suspect that you have tried defending yourself to your LTR and now you resent her for it. I wonder if you would have gotten along with her better if you just said, "you know how I feel about this," and let her get used to the fact that the topic is not up for discussion (negotiation). This has gotten off the topic of the thread, I know. It's just that I sensed resentment for your LTR in your writing, and I wondered if I could help identify something that's within your power to change so you can overcome it or avoid that in the future.
[quote]Obviously, I don't think this applies to all women. But, I think it does apply to virtually 100% of the women that genuinely love you. I think for many women it's hard for them to give all of themselves to men because they have the fundamental insecurity that he could leave or be stolen away. So, I think that woman feels like she's got you then she clamps down on you. Insecurity leads to tyranny. If I'm insecure in myself and in our relationship then I'm going to engage in behavior that restricts your freedom. Women are the same way. And, sometimes I think they're much more prone to doing this.[/quote]
Now we're getting somewhere. The question I pose is whether it is possible to practice attraction skills and also allow your woman to feel secure. Is it possible to manage a relationship so that she knows that she cannot change your social nature (it's unalterable), but she can still feel secure in the relationship? I'm starting to convince myself that it would take an incredibly secure woman or a very strong frame to pull it off, or both.
I recommend a book called "Hold on to Your N.U.T.s" to all men, even men not in relationships. It describes these types of situations. Your N.U.T.s are your non-negotiable unalterable terms. Spending time with your family or helping a friend in distress or managing your career are non-negotiable and unalterable. Maybe even a poker night could be non-negotiable, as long as you're reasonable and consistent. The book says you just say, "I am going to help my friend because he needs me," and you leave. You let her be mad. You don't defend yourself. Eventually, she will learn how to live with it or she will decide that she cannot accept the terms of the relationship. According to the book, your N.U.T.s are who you are, and if you compromise them for her, you will resent her, and she will lose her respect for you. I think many, many men fall into this trap.
Again, I don't know you, BR, but I suspect that you have tried defending yourself to your LTR and now you resent her for it. I wonder if you would have gotten along with her better if you just said, "you know how I feel about this," and let her get used to the fact that the topic is not up for discussion (negotiation). This has gotten off the topic of the thread, I know. It's just that I sensed resentment for your LTR in your writing, and I wondered if I could help identify something that's within your power to change so you can overcome it or avoid that in the future.
[quote]Obviously, I don't think this applies to all women. But, I think it does apply to virtually 100% of the women that genuinely love you. I think for many women it's hard for them to give all of themselves to men because they have the fundamental insecurity that he could leave or be stolen away. So, I think that woman feels like she's got you then she clamps down on you. Insecurity leads to tyranny. If I'm insecure in myself and in our relationship then I'm going to engage in behavior that restricts your freedom. Women are the same way. And, sometimes I think they're much more prone to doing this.[/quote]
Now we're getting somewhere. The question I pose is whether it is possible to practice attraction skills and also allow your woman to feel secure. Is it possible to manage a relationship so that she knows that she cannot change your social nature (it's unalterable), but she can still feel secure in the relationship? I'm starting to convince myself that it would take an incredibly secure woman or a very strong frame to pull it off, or both.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Oct 28, 2009 2:38 pm
[QUOTE=Lion;33488]Rhody,
This statement only confirms everything that was said in this thread.
It contradicts everything else you said in the above paragraph.[/QUOTE]
I do not agree that it contradicts EVERYTHING else I said. My LTR was with a woman whose father and brother both committed suicide. She has some severe abandonment issues. She is not representative of the average woman. I acknowledge that very insecure women with serious issues are out there. So I can empathize with BR.
However, may main point was that for most women being consistent, being mature in the face of her little-girl rants, being understanding, and being THERE will go a long way toward making her feel, and behave, more secure.
This statement only confirms everything that was said in this thread.
It contradicts everything else you said in the above paragraph.[/QUOTE]
I do not agree that it contradicts EVERYTHING else I said. My LTR was with a woman whose father and brother both committed suicide. She has some severe abandonment issues. She is not representative of the average woman. I acknowledge that very insecure women with serious issues are out there. So I can empathize with BR.
However, may main point was that for most women being consistent, being mature in the face of her little-girl rants, being understanding, and being THERE will go a long way toward making her feel, and behave, more secure.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Oct 28, 2009 4:47 pm
I'm aware that my writing can seem to possess undertones of resentment for my LTR. But, understand that I do not resent her in the least. Instead, I've been speaking in generalities. I do geniunely believe that women can very easily become tyrants. I see it all the time. And, I've seen it happen with women that came into the relationship as a tyrant and women that came into the relationship as that cool chick that gradually became a tyrant.
Although my LTR has not grown into a tyrant by any means, I see her constantly challenging my N.U.T.s and pushing the envelope to see what she can and cannot get away with. This is the source of friction in our relationship but I have not changed anything about myself based on her challenges.
My real concern is not that she is a tyrant, but that she will grow into one. Obviously, this will only happen if I allow for it to happen. Still though, I think everyone is capable of becoming a relationship tyrant and, as such, I'm constantly aware of what she's doing and what it means, or doesn't mean.
I'm only addressing this because I want to make it clear to everyone that I do not harbor resentment towards my LTR as a person. Instead, in general, I do somewhat resent the LTR/monogamy structure but only because I think it creates tyranny and complacency. Think of it like a monopoly. When there's no competition, or threat thereof, then company's, and government's, become oppressive and stop striving to be better. Same thing applies to relationships. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that a long-term, viable option exists...assuming you want to be with said woman, otherwise just stay single.
[QUOTE=Rhody;33489]Now we're getting somewhere. The question I pose is whether it is possible to practice attraction skills and also allow your woman to feel secure. Is it possible to manage a relationship so that she knows that she cannot change your social nature (it's unalterable), but she can still feel secure in the relationship? I'm starting to convince myself that it would take an incredibly secure woman or a very strong frame to pull it off, or both.[/QUOTE]
I don't think it's possible. If it is, it requires a secure woman, a strong frame, and her having no knowledge of the Community and your involvement in it.
Although my LTR has not grown into a tyrant by any means, I see her constantly challenging my N.U.T.s and pushing the envelope to see what she can and cannot get away with. This is the source of friction in our relationship but I have not changed anything about myself based on her challenges.
My real concern is not that she is a tyrant, but that she will grow into one. Obviously, this will only happen if I allow for it to happen. Still though, I think everyone is capable of becoming a relationship tyrant and, as such, I'm constantly aware of what she's doing and what it means, or doesn't mean.
I'm only addressing this because I want to make it clear to everyone that I do not harbor resentment towards my LTR as a person. Instead, in general, I do somewhat resent the LTR/monogamy structure but only because I think it creates tyranny and complacency. Think of it like a monopoly. When there's no competition, or threat thereof, then company's, and government's, become oppressive and stop striving to be better. Same thing applies to relationships. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that a long-term, viable option exists...assuming you want to be with said woman, otherwise just stay single.
[QUOTE=Rhody;33489]Now we're getting somewhere. The question I pose is whether it is possible to practice attraction skills and also allow your woman to feel secure. Is it possible to manage a relationship so that she knows that she cannot change your social nature (it's unalterable), but she can still feel secure in the relationship? I'm starting to convince myself that it would take an incredibly secure woman or a very strong frame to pull it off, or both.[/QUOTE]
I don't think it's possible. If it is, it requires a secure woman, a strong frame, and her having no knowledge of the Community and your involvement in it.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Oct 28, 2009 8:46 pm
[QUOTE=Bull Run;33491]
Although my LTR has not grown into a tyrant by any means, I see her constantly challenging my N.U.T.s and pushing the envelope to see what she can and cannot get away with..[/QUOTE]
I'm starting to think this is an unintended consequence of the current Pick up Gestalt. The same way that becoming a social center attracts women, not constantly being that will cause dissatisfaction. Being the center of the party is attractive but after you have the girl and want to spend more time at home, she begins to resent that you are not always being that party guy she saw as so attractive.
Testing boundaries is the same thing. If you are always forceful and in control, you know, super alpha, then when you want to sit at home and watching TV, not being super alpha, then she will see the the contrast and want to push it. She will try to see how much not alpha you really are.
In order to keep your NUTs, you have to go into the hard to constantly maintain super alpha mode.
I believe there is a way around this and I think it involves the initial stages of the pick up. I have dealt with 2 children with setting boundaries. One is my son and the other is his older half sister. They both had a problem running off in stores. This technique worked first on his sister and then later on my son. I told them that it isn't my responsibility to keep track of them, it's their responsibility to keep track of me. Me keeping track of them meant I had to focus on them first and give them attention which they liked which got them playing hide and seek. I couldn't do what I needed to at the store. When I flipped it so they had the responsibility of keeping track of me, they stayed right by me for fear of loosing sight of me. I got my shopping done.
I believe the same is true with women and boundaries. If we set the line and tell them that it is their responsibility to not cross it, they won't approach it.
I think we also need to make sure they are attracted to who we are and not what they perceive about how we act and live. That way we are just as attractive at home watching the game as when we are out being the life of the party. Parties is what we do not what we are.
Does that sound completly screwy and off base?
Although my LTR has not grown into a tyrant by any means, I see her constantly challenging my N.U.T.s and pushing the envelope to see what she can and cannot get away with..[/QUOTE]
I'm starting to think this is an unintended consequence of the current Pick up Gestalt. The same way that becoming a social center attracts women, not constantly being that will cause dissatisfaction. Being the center of the party is attractive but after you have the girl and want to spend more time at home, she begins to resent that you are not always being that party guy she saw as so attractive.
Testing boundaries is the same thing. If you are always forceful and in control, you know, super alpha, then when you want to sit at home and watching TV, not being super alpha, then she will see the the contrast and want to push it. She will try to see how much not alpha you really are.
In order to keep your NUTs, you have to go into the hard to constantly maintain super alpha mode.
I believe there is a way around this and I think it involves the initial stages of the pick up. I have dealt with 2 children with setting boundaries. One is my son and the other is his older half sister. They both had a problem running off in stores. This technique worked first on his sister and then later on my son. I told them that it isn't my responsibility to keep track of them, it's their responsibility to keep track of me. Me keeping track of them meant I had to focus on them first and give them attention which they liked which got them playing hide and seek. I couldn't do what I needed to at the store. When I flipped it so they had the responsibility of keeping track of me, they stayed right by me for fear of loosing sight of me. I got my shopping done.
I believe the same is true with women and boundaries. If we set the line and tell them that it is their responsibility to not cross it, they won't approach it.
I think we also need to make sure they are attracted to who we are and not what they perceive about how we act and live. That way we are just as attractive at home watching the game as when we are out being the life of the party. Parties is what we do not what we are.
Does that sound completly screwy and off base?
- Guest
by Guest » Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:48 am
Rhody and BR- thanks for posting what you have. Its helped me realize what I value in a woman. I've had the same thoughts you guys have posted in regards to women and their insecurities and how it can really cramp a guys style to the point he's not himself any more.
The girl I have been with for almost a year now is:
-insecure
-feeds off atention
-gets jealous when I talk to other girls
-a daddy's girl
-can't understand when I'm super busy and don't have time for her 24-7. She always thinks if I turn her down on an offer to spend time together that its because I don't like her.
-likes to throw little girl attention tantrums.
-gets worried and starts inventing drama when I don't call her at the usual time.
All of this stupid behavior wears me out at times. She loves sex, a hottie, very sweet, makes great money, naughty, outgoing, likes guy activities(football, hunting, fishing, racing), but I could never give my heart to her because of her mental issues that all relate to her insecurities.
Before her, I was married to a highly confident and secure woman who used logic for reasoning instead of emotions most of the time. In 15 years of being with her i never had the drama I've had with my current LTR in just 1 year.
I've sort of reached a point in my life where I have started to get burnt out on women. I have very little tolerance for their drama. I have also started to question if I am really relationship material. I even wonder if there is any woman out there who can truly make me happy.
There are a few girls out there who have more "guy" friends than they do "girl" friends. I wonder if girls that have more "guy" friends are more secure? Most of these girls I've talked seem to be secure and don't care to have friendships with other girls because of the same reasons we have mentioned here. Whats you guys' thoughts???
Anyhooters, the stuff that has been posted here has helped reiterate some things about women. I don't know if I should accept them for the creatures they are like Rhody alluded to or keep looking. I think I'll keep my NUTS and keep looking! If they don't like me for who I am they can exit the mainstage any time they like.
The girl I have been with for almost a year now is:
-insecure
-feeds off atention
-gets jealous when I talk to other girls
-a daddy's girl
-can't understand when I'm super busy and don't have time for her 24-7. She always thinks if I turn her down on an offer to spend time together that its because I don't like her.
-likes to throw little girl attention tantrums.
-gets worried and starts inventing drama when I don't call her at the usual time.
All of this stupid behavior wears me out at times. She loves sex, a hottie, very sweet, makes great money, naughty, outgoing, likes guy activities(football, hunting, fishing, racing), but I could never give my heart to her because of her mental issues that all relate to her insecurities.
Before her, I was married to a highly confident and secure woman who used logic for reasoning instead of emotions most of the time. In 15 years of being with her i never had the drama I've had with my current LTR in just 1 year.
I've sort of reached a point in my life where I have started to get burnt out on women. I have very little tolerance for their drama. I have also started to question if I am really relationship material. I even wonder if there is any woman out there who can truly make me happy.
There are a few girls out there who have more "guy" friends than they do "girl" friends. I wonder if girls that have more "guy" friends are more secure? Most of these girls I've talked seem to be secure and don't care to have friendships with other girls because of the same reasons we have mentioned here. Whats you guys' thoughts???
Anyhooters, the stuff that has been posted here has helped reiterate some things about women. I don't know if I should accept them for the creatures they are like Rhody alluded to or keep looking. I think I'll keep my NUTS and keep looking! If they don't like me for who I am they can exit the mainstage any time they like.
- Guest
by Guest » Thu Oct 29, 2009 1:46 pm
[QUOTE=UncleHOwie;33494]There are a few girls out there who have more "guy" friends than they do "girl" friends. I wonder if girls that have more "guy" friends are more secure? Most of these girls I've talked seem to be secure and don't care to have friendships with other girls because of the same reasons we have mentioned here. Whats you guys' thoughts???[/QUOTE]
Oddly enough, about half of the girls I've dated in the past had more guy friends than girl friends. Generally speaking, my experience with girls with guy friends were as follows:
-Typically the girl had ugly duckling syndrome. Usually, the girl was fat or unattractive growing up and then came into her own after high school. Since the guys that she was attracted to weren't attracted to her, so she became their friend instead.
-Like most fat girls, these girls tend to be super aggressive sexually. They're ultra eager and, generally, willing sexual partners. Also, they tend to be hyper-sexual, my theory is they're making up for all of that fucking in high school that they wanted but never got.
-These women tend to be very insecure in how they look. They do not take compliments well and still see themselves as ugly/fat.
-Generally speaking, these girls are a lot cooler and will engage you and your friends in 'guy speak' without flinching.
-They also tend to despise other girls. Usually the same girls that their guy friend's in high school showered with attention and/or admiration.
-Often they are standoffish towards men and their advances, some might say they're jaded.
For the most part, I prefer these types of girls. While it is true that these types of girls feel the same way towards other girls, I think that dynamic only exists because they probably got attention while these girls did/do not. or do no. But, they do have one overriding thing in common with girls that surround themselves with girl friends: they're still women. As such, all of the same rules apply in the end.
Oddly enough, about half of the girls I've dated in the past had more guy friends than girl friends. Generally speaking, my experience with girls with guy friends were as follows:
-Typically the girl had ugly duckling syndrome. Usually, the girl was fat or unattractive growing up and then came into her own after high school. Since the guys that she was attracted to weren't attracted to her, so she became their friend instead.
-Like most fat girls, these girls tend to be super aggressive sexually. They're ultra eager and, generally, willing sexual partners. Also, they tend to be hyper-sexual, my theory is they're making up for all of that fucking in high school that they wanted but never got.
-These women tend to be very insecure in how they look. They do not take compliments well and still see themselves as ugly/fat.
-Generally speaking, these girls are a lot cooler and will engage you and your friends in 'guy speak' without flinching.
-They also tend to despise other girls. Usually the same girls that their guy friend's in high school showered with attention and/or admiration.
-Often they are standoffish towards men and their advances, some might say they're jaded.
For the most part, I prefer these types of girls. While it is true that these types of girls feel the same way towards other girls, I think that dynamic only exists because they probably got attention while these girls did/do not. or do no. But, they do have one overriding thing in common with girls that surround themselves with girl friends: they're still women. As such, all of the same rules apply in the end.
- Guest
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