When I enter a set, and I am able to determine from the body language and tonality of the target that they are interested in me, then I am able to relax, sub-communicate confidence, and carry on a conversation in a natural way. But when I enter a set, and everyone has their shields up, I subconciously end up trying to win them over and come from a very needy place (need to be liked) and it blows up. I guess things come down to a basic fear of rejection that I need to get over. When I'm not afraid of being rejected, I can follow my game plan to an extent, but when I feel like everyone is only thinking, "What is this guy doing here?", I tend to slip up and come across exactly the way that I shouldn't.
Has anyone else struggled with this?
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Opening Difficulties
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• Page 1 of 1
by Guest » Sun Aug 02, 2009 3:05 pm
I used to be quite reactive; what worked for me is continuous exposure. And the realization that most sets actually aren't thinking "What is this guy doing here?"
That said, just read your intro, and we're in the same area - I'm planning on going out this Monday, so if you're interested, PM me.
That said, just read your intro, and we're in the same area - I'm planning on going out this Monday, so if you're interested, PM me.
- Guest
by Guest » Sat Aug 08, 2009 4:37 pm
[quote1249766324=Rydur]
When I enter a set, and I am able to determine from the body language and tonality of the target that they are interested in me, then I am able to relax, sub-communicate confidence, and carry on a conversation in a natural way. But when I enter a set, and everyone has their shields up, I subconciously end up trying to win them over and come from a very needy place (need to be liked) and it blows up. I guess things come down to a basic fear of rejection that I need to get over. When I'm not afraid of being rejected, I can follow my game plan to an extent, but when I feel like everyone is only thinking, "What is this guy doing here?", I tend to slip up and come across exactly the way that I shouldn't.
Has anyone else struggled with this?
[/quote1249766324]
Hey man,
I'm kind of suprised few have responded thus far, because this is a very important observation. Years and years of practice in this very thing brings me to these conclusions.
In a bar type venue you must typically expect some bitch shield, as you put it. Especially if you have not yet obtained the higher level skills and build energy or displayed higher value. I like to refer to it as shit test and you need to get used to it. The test is designed to expose needy and/or the socially weak.
If you do receive this kind of behaviour it should typically be mirrored back. If you opened a set e.g. "This song was from back in the day!" and you went in with decent energy and they totally blew you down then back turn but never move away or let your BL be negative. Turn around and start BSing with your buddy about football or even what a bitatch shs was. Everybody else in the room will see that interaction as positive for you and only in your mind was it negative .. unless your BL says otherwise. Chick's scanning rooms look mostly at BL because a) they like to (people watch etc.) and b) they are good at it. This part of the game is almost exclusively non verbal.
Once you have back turned etc. you will find 50% of the girls come back to you at least (usually with touching). You can now bust the shit out of them and subtly move it where you want it. This is MONEY and this point you can assume comfort and attraction. The rest .. fuck them. If you never ever feel that pitt in your stomach of rejection and force a big huge smile and throw your hands in the air you will never master this game. No shut downs in a night means you are not getting laid as much as you could. Shut downs means you are getting laid. Simple as that. Counter intuitive I know but you have to re-wire your brain to like that shit and laugh about it. Eventually you won't get many and you will fell happy when they come along.
Peace.
When I enter a set, and I am able to determine from the body language and tonality of the target that they are interested in me, then I am able to relax, sub-communicate confidence, and carry on a conversation in a natural way. But when I enter a set, and everyone has their shields up, I subconciously end up trying to win them over and come from a very needy place (need to be liked) and it blows up. I guess things come down to a basic fear of rejection that I need to get over. When I'm not afraid of being rejected, I can follow my game plan to an extent, but when I feel like everyone is only thinking, "What is this guy doing here?", I tend to slip up and come across exactly the way that I shouldn't.
Has anyone else struggled with this?
[/quote1249766324]
Hey man,
I'm kind of suprised few have responded thus far, because this is a very important observation. Years and years of practice in this very thing brings me to these conclusions.
In a bar type venue you must typically expect some bitch shield, as you put it. Especially if you have not yet obtained the higher level skills and build energy or displayed higher value. I like to refer to it as shit test and you need to get used to it. The test is designed to expose needy and/or the socially weak.
If you do receive this kind of behaviour it should typically be mirrored back. If you opened a set e.g. "This song was from back in the day!" and you went in with decent energy and they totally blew you down then back turn but never move away or let your BL be negative. Turn around and start BSing with your buddy about football or even what a bitatch shs was. Everybody else in the room will see that interaction as positive for you and only in your mind was it negative .. unless your BL says otherwise. Chick's scanning rooms look mostly at BL because a) they like to (people watch etc.) and b) they are good at it. This part of the game is almost exclusively non verbal.
Once you have back turned etc. you will find 50% of the girls come back to you at least (usually with touching). You can now bust the shit out of them and subtly move it where you want it. This is MONEY and this point you can assume comfort and attraction. The rest .. fuck them. If you never ever feel that pitt in your stomach of rejection and force a big huge smile and throw your hands in the air you will never master this game. No shut downs in a night means you are not getting laid as much as you could. Shut downs means you are getting laid. Simple as that. Counter intuitive I know but you have to re-wire your brain to like that shit and laugh about it. Eventually you won't get many and you will fell happy when they come along.
Peace.
- Guest
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