by Guest » Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:24 pm
I agree with TD, and I'm going to offer something else, that is related but from a different angle. That is, standards in general.
A while ago one of our members was unskilled and was having no success. And simultaneously he insisted that he didn't want to sleep with anything less than a supermodel. I (and others) encouraged him to go for something more in line with the kind of girls that are more likely to go for him, and over time as his value (and experience and self-confidence) grew, then going for the supermodels might make sense. It's a process.
It's a tough balance recommending this though because limiting beliefs and generally aiming low can also be a major sticking point. I struggle with it myself. So I try to be extremely careful about recommending lower standards.
But if you're not getting anything right now, and you're also going for a specific type that is more difficult than average, then it's going to feel like you're not getting anywhere. Some lesser success along the way can be very motivating, even if it's not your final goal.