What are you building?

[Guest]

Ask yourself, in the community, what am I primarially building? Is it a skill set, or a lifestyle? A skill set is a framework, and a specific set of tools, to be used in varying situations. It's like having all the crayons in the box. A lifestyle is something that becomes what you are. Think Hugh Hefner as a prime example. Does he have to go out, and meet girls from scratch? Cold open sets, build attraction, and comfort? NO. He probably hasnt had to to that in the past 40 years, unless he wanted to. He built a lifestyle that brings the women he wants to him.

I have personally, lived on both sides of the equation. In college, I had a lifestyle, because of involvement with a campus org, but not the skills to truly make it work. Meeting girls gets harder after college, so take note, university guys. When I found the community, I focused on building a skill set, and framework. You walk into a bar/club, and cold open girls whom you do not know, nor know anyone you know. You start from zero, and build attraction and comfort. It's a hard road, as girls dont know you from anyone, but the skills learned are vital.

More recently, through my business, I have started to build a lifestyle. We work with several local venues, and know many of the regulars and staff. When you walk into a venue, and many of the staff, and people know you already, your life meeting a girl there you do not know, is much easier. THEN, it is time to use skills, to close it out, as you are already half the way there. Social proof and status, is a very strong component. As is safety. A girl's defenses will not go up when half the place knows you, vs being some yahoo that she doesn't know, or know of.

In closing, I believe that learning the skillset FIRST, then learning to leverage it through a lifestyle is a wise move. Think about what you do when you go out. Do the staff where you go know you? Do you have friends there? Are you there for any reason other than to have a few, and talk to girls? Have you learned a method, and are building on it? I'd urge you to have a vehicle, or system for meeting women, that allows you to build a lifestyle, where women come to you.
That's my dream. What is yours? :)

[Guest]

What happens when, in transition from one to the other, you lose interest in building either? That's where I feel I am.

[Guest]

[quote1246202096=Smirks]
What happens when, in transition from one to the other, you lose interest in building either? That's where I feel I am.
[/quote1246202096]

Motivation and drive is a very personal thing. All I can say is that things in life go in cycles. Sometimes the chips are up, sometimes they are down. People tend to think of life as a set of stairs, whereas, it's more like a rollercoaster. Sometimes your up, sometimes you go down real fast, and sometimes you dont know which way IS up.

On a personal level, I know you have had the drive to change your body image greatly, be successful in business, and sarging. If you can do those things, and do them well, I see this lack of drive as just part of the ebb and flow of a cycle.