The Community Matrix

[Guest]

Fin:

I understand where you're coming from, and I agree with you. Ignorance undermines society in many, many ways. But, not knowing is powerful. Look at the people in our society that are the epitome of ignorant: the mentally disabled and children.

If you've spent any meaningful amount of time with either one of those classes you'll see that they're the happiest people in the world. They simply don't know any better.

And, that's what I was referring to with respect to women.

Top Dog hit it on the head, I almost wish that I could go back to viewing women as goddesses. I don't see them that way any longer and, sometimes, that sadness me.

UncleHOwie brought up another point as well. Marriage. How can I realistically allow myself to marry a woman when I know their true nature? Sure, to a certain extent, they're nature will be dictated by my strength. But, what's the percentage in marriage when you've gone through the pick-up thing?

I know that this sounds like whining and crying, but please don't misunderstand it as such. Far from it actually. Women are not to be revered or are to be a life's goal or necessity. In my youth, I never in a million years would have ever believed that I would hold such a view. Funny how things change.

[Guest]

I knew that some of us ole timers had similar views but geeze.

I feel the exact same way as TopDog.

And everything Uncle Howie wrote I can relate to almost word for word. Except I do want to get married and have kids.

The one area that I disagree with though is I think I will find a girl that I can fall head over heals for. Maybe it is wishful thinking I don't know. I just know that I have met some badass girls in my PUA days. They just weren't badass enough or lacked something I really wanted. But they were definately badass for the right guy.

[Guest]

Geez you guys are depressing!

Is THIS what lies at the other side of the river?? I've heard so many great things from so many guys about how PU has enhanced their lives for the BETTER

but is it just perpetuated bullsh*t to sell their boot camps?

Someone please STOP me if I'm wrong here BUT... let me ask you this...

"After learning, and successfully being able to implement PU; can you say that your GLAD you are where you stand?"

I mean, if you were to able to step into 'said' time machine and confront your past self, what would you say? If anything at all."

[Guest]

Supa:

Everything has its positives and negatives. Everything has its good and bad. The question is whether or not your decisions create more good than bad.

PU is no different. Understand that there are a ton of positives that are a byproduct of this journey:

-Women
-Confidence
-Friendships
-Great fun and experiences
-Abundance mentality
-The list goes on

But, it's not all 'good.' To a certain extent, PU can have some negative consequences. In my opinion, they are few and far between. In fact, destroying the idea that women are sacred is the only meaningful negative.

But, understand that the mentality that women are sacred is incredibly destructive. If this were not the case, the Community would have no purpose. Still, having that idea in your head that a woman is to be revered is nice to have from time to time.

I think PC hit in on the head. Women are not sacred. They are not to be revered. But, maybe there is ONE woman, or a small handful, that is sacred to YOU.

I suppose that's the next logical way of thinking.

The answer to your question Supa, would I do it again if I know what I know now?

Fuck yeah...no regrets

[Guest]

[quote1243953278=Supa]
Geez you guys are depressing!
Is THIS what lies at the other side of the river?? I've heard so many great things from so many guys about how PU has enhanced their lives for the BETTER
but is it just perpetuated bullsh*t to sell their boot camps?
Someone please STOP me if I'm wrong here BUT... let me ask you this...
"After learning, and successfully being able to implement PU; can you say that your GLAD you are where you stand?"
[/quote1243953278]

It certainly is a possibility based on what you want and what you have experienced in the past. I am highly pleased that I found PU. It has made me more successful in all areas of my life(friends, women, work, etc). I wish I would have learned about it in my early 20's.

[Guest]

I have ZERO regrets.

I too wish I would have learned this stuff when I was 20 or so.

Envious of anyone who is younger learning this stuff now.

[Guest]

I don't regret any of it. Not only have I learned skills that have exponentially improved my life in all aspects, I've made friends who have done the same.

What I miss, and what I felt this thread is about, is a break from knowing what we know. Getting the girl then was much more of an achievement than it is now. That may be because I haven't found the right girl (God I hope that's why) but that feeling is there. I get girls that I once would have just puppy dogged after, and I always feel like it wasn't that big of a deal or "I could do better."

What you have here are a bunch of guys who have conquered much of the mountain, and are looking for a nice resting place along the sides of it.

[Guest]

[quote1243990663=Smirks]
I don't regret any of it. Not only have I learned skills that have exponentially improved my life in all aspects, I've made friends who have done the same.

What I miss, and what I felt this thread is about, is a break from knowing what we know. Getting the girl then was much more of an achievement than it is now. That may be because I haven't found the right girl (God I hope that's why) but that feeling is there. I get girls that I once would have just puppy dogged after, and I always feel like it wasn't that big of a deal or "I could do better."

What you have here are a bunch of guys who have conquered much of the mountain, and are looking for a nice resting place along the sides of it.
[/quote1243990663]

some excellent nuggets from Smirks.

i don't regret it one bit either...but I've attempted several further replies to this thread to capture my thoughts but all have not done it. it pretty much involves a complete reflection on time in the community.

[Guest]

No.

To me, the key is to realize that blind reverence is not deserved by anyone, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve my respect and interest. Balance is the key.

Man, my heart goes out to you that you can't find a woman out there who intrigues and intersts you who you can respect and be happy with. I think if many of us are going thru this, maybe we need to take a hard look at whether our priorities/expectations of others are realistic and fair. The implication, at least as I read it (and I could be wrong), is that the realization that women are SEXUAL, that they like sex as much as or more than men, causes a lot of us to lose "reverence" for women. Actually that's a good thing, since it's a reality check.

Women are people. I think as we mature socially, that's what is realized.

In my personal view, a mature, confident, "alpha" man, should not be threatened by a woman's sexuality, experience, or any other kind of "humanness", he should embrace it.

Honesty is more beautiful than make-up.

As for the community, it can definately be helpful in creating confidence and a beginning step in socializing people who need that help. I think anyone willing to reach out for that help is worthy of a pat on the back for sure.

All that said, I don't want you to think I'm ripping in to you at all because man, this is just where you are right now in this particular frame of mind. We all go thru different phases depending on what's going on in our lives. I question shit all the time. What makes you awesome is that you lay it out there, and everyone is enriched for it.

Having said that, I have to disagree with a couple other things... first that being completely uncompromising is "alpha" - yes ok, if you are sticking up for yourself it is. But sometimes you'd compromise for someone you respect, right? And that's alpha too. Being uncompromising just for the sake of not compromising means you're afraid of giving up control, which is not alpha. Like who is more alpha, the kid on the roller coaster with his hands up having fun, letting go, or the weenie grabbing tightly to the bar?

You view women as "beneath" you, but you have to know on some level that this isn't correct. Why would you say that? Can you expand?

[Guest]

I wouldn't say that the fact that women are sexual just like men has caused me to lose reverence for them in any way. I'm not sure what it is, maybe it's because they're no longer a mystery to me any longer. Maybe I had really high expectations for what a woman is and what could mean to my life. Now that I know what they're all about, I realize that those expectations back in the day were unrealistic.

Now, I have very realistic expectations from women (achieved through experience), and reconciling the gap between realistic and unrealistic has been hard to bridge.

My frame right now is a little different for reasons that will become evident, sadly, soon.

As for the list, I wasn't saying that that's what I believe. I was just theorizing why I was feeling how I was feeling. Is it because of those items, are they the cause? I don't know.

Your point about alpha is well taken. I have recently come to the understanding that being alpha doesn't have anything to do with control. In my opinion, an alpha can go AFC and go PUA depending on the circumstances. Giving up control without the fear of totally losing yourself or alpha-ness is exactly what makes you alpha. So, I agree with you there. Definitely.

I don't know if I view women 'beneath' me necessarily. I guess you could say that I'm concerned that I've become a misogynist. I do question that. But, I don't know if I really to see and think of women as below me.

I will say that there are many, many times in my life that I simply think about women and relationships and plainly state that "I just don't need all of that noise."