by Guest » Sat May 23, 2009 8:15 pm
B R may be right.
But you would benefit GREATLY to learn how to handle these kinds of situations.
You say they blew you off before you even said anything...but that sounds to me like you just assumed you had no chance and quit trying.
How can you lose a game if you didn't even make an attempt to play?
Besides...why SHOULD they be interested in you? They don't even know you...
There is zero obligation for them to be all over you on first meet.
PREFACE BEFORE I CONTINUE:
I am not a huge proponent of giving advice on a forum about how a specific situation went wrong. There are almost ALWAYS too many things that havent/werent/cant be/etc conveyed in the description of the original situation...thus it is generally very difficult to give sound advice.
That said...lets assume the situation was exactly as you described it...(and how I interpreted it).
There are a few things you could have done:
(which one you might choose would depend on your personality/style...and these are surely not the only options):
1) Show them the same disinterest they showed you...at first.
Your friend tells everyone your name.
You get little to no reaction from it.
So you go back to your friend who introduced you, just as you where immediately before the introduction, and gradually work your way out to the other people in the group from there. You might actually even have a tiny little advantage because everyone knows you are with your friend...and not some creeper just trying to work his way in.
[Before I continue, this reminds me: I haven't hung out with you in a while...so things may have changed since then; But I recall noticing that it often obvious and forceful when you are TRYING to talk to a girl or group. Honestly I don't think I picked up on exactly what it was...but it was likely either body language, forced conversation, or some combination of the two. Try working on making your interactions seem more natural and not so forced.]
2) Go playful (and MILDLY direct)...but NOT in an obviously defensive way.
These girls clearly didn't need you...so if you're going to go the direct route, its up to you to pursue them in a PLAYFUL (non-creepy way).
(After reconsidering, I'd say this option is something you probably don't want to use unless you can do it with a __100%__ solid frame and NOT back down halfway through. Also, to pull this off you need to have a REALLY good internalized feel for reading other people in order to adjust your mannerisms as things progress.)
3) Find the weakest frame in the group and tackle.
You said there where like 10 of these girls in this group.
There was very likely ATLEAST 1 of them (who knows...possibly the ugliest one...doesn't matter) that would have atleast STARTED talking to you if you opened her specifically.
Granted, you have to be able to make friends with her and hold a conversation...but once you do that, you move on to working your way out to other members of the group.
All those options considered, B R may still very well be correct;
But you will benefit greatly from the ability to tackle the bitchcunthookers just the same as the non-bitchcunthookers.