"Just be Confident"

[Guest]

So I recently came across a sentiment elsewhere on the internet and I wanted to comment on it. It's the notion that all you have to do is BE CONFIDENT and everything will fall into place.

I agree (with caveats), this is 100% correct. Being confident is all you need. The caveat is this: enough confidence is [i]sufficient[/i] to get women, but it is not the only way or necessarily the best way. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "all you need is X and you can get girls." Where X is looks, confidence, the M3 model, money, cocky/funny, or "my product". I have ranted before on TMTOWTDI so I will just summarize: there are many ways to get there, and no one way is best for everyone. Confidence is an element that runs through many aspects of game, and is important, but getting to the point where you're overflowing with confidence is not the best way for everyone, and is exceedingly difficult for most people.

So I said it was technically 100% correct that with enough confidence you don't need anything else. I'll also add that this is [b]100% unhelpful[/b]. Just like when your mom said to "just be yourself honey." What if you decided to take the confidence route? What actions would you take? Banging a lot of women is one way, but that just leads to a chicken-and-egg problem. Do you fake confidence in the mean time? If so, does that undermine your goal, since people are responding to your fake self?


Tonight I was contemplating, perhaps more game should be organized around things NOT to do, and reasons why. With bad things, I'm speculating perhaps it's much easier to draw the causal link between action and possible negative consequence. If you don't call a woman the next day, she may feel (perhaps correctly) that she was just being used for sex, and this will often make her feel bad about herself, which she will blame on you. This may come back in the future in the form of drinks thrown on you by women you don't remember fucking. So don't do that.

Positive things have cause-effect relationships also, but the difference is, things to avoid are much more atomic, meaning they are less interdependent. Should you make out in a bar? Does it get you closer to taking a woman home with you? It [i]depends[/i]. It depends on more things than can be enumerated.


Human interactions are complicated. Male-female interactions are perhaps the most complicated. There are broad, simple foundations which are probably sufficient, but there are also fascinating interactions and subtlety which are very real and also useful. Like a large tree, I doubt any person could know every twig and leaf. But nobody has to. There are many possible subsets of theory and practice which can work.

[Guest]

my friends kid is getting bullied at school because he has glasses. kids are the cruelest. he is working on boosting his confidence now. that is all one can do to be comfortable in ones skin and not be bullied / bored / filled w self loathing. confidence gets women yes. that is what this site is dedicated to and the key is in the above post. however, as all the "old timers" and truth seakers know that the confidence must not be a facade. it may not be transparent to the ladies but to oneself it must be real. with confidence one will not need to take home the 5.5 and not want to call her. odds are his goals will be loftier deservedly, and thus a next day call should be a treat as opposed to a chore. just my 50 cents. goodnight guys

[Guest]

[quote1242661224=Magnum]my friends kid is getting bullied at school because he has glasses. kids are the cruelest. he is working on boosting his confidence now. that is all one can do to be comfortable in ones skin and not be bullied / bored / filled w self loathing. confidence gets women yes. that is what this site is dedicated to and the key is in the above post. however, as all the "old timers" and truth seakers know that the confidence must not be a facade. it may not be transparent to the ladies but to oneself it must be real. with confidence one will not need to take home the 5.5 and not want to call her. odds are his goals will be loftier deservedly, and thus a next day call should be a treat as opposed to a chore. just my 50 cents. goodnight guys[/quote1242661224]


Bullies taught me more about my character and who I was as a person than almost everyone else I've ever known...

[Guest]

Vector:

I believe I read the exact same stuff that you're alluding to in your post. I too had the same reaction and see the world very similarly.

In my opinion, being confident, calm, composed, and 'not fucking things up in set' are not exactly the best advice for someone that's new to this stuff. Fact is that noobs, inherently, speak a different language than more experienced guys.

So, running around saying just be confident isn't going to get you much of anywhere because they simply don't know what that means. They cannot translate it and then apply it to their world.

As for your circular chicken and the egg comment, I've often asked myself the same question. What came first, my success or my confidence? I've determined that you start with and end with confidence. I know that sounds stupid, but it's not the confidence that's the question, it's what are you confident in that changes.

I had moderate confidence in myself with respect to girls when I first started...understand that I wasn't too AFCish, but still an AFC. I knew that I had a long way to go with women but I also believed in two things: 1) if I put my mind to it I can achieve whatever it is that I want AND 2) I had confidence in the tactics and theories of the Community.

Over time, success and understanding of what it is exactly that is going on while you're running Game helps you to develop confidence in yourself and your abilities with women. Genuine, true confidence.

So, I would say that we start with faith and end with confidence in ourselves.

The interesting thing is that faith is a form of confidence, it's confidence in the unknown and unseen...so, I guess you could say that it starts and ends with confidence.

Just my two cents.