Hey guys. I am not really looking for a relationship of any kind right now, just I need more female friends. Obviously the fast lane to getting friends would be to find a hobby and shit like that, and I have been trying to find a hobby, but to no avail. Is there a way to cold approach and insert yourself into the friend zone? I really want more female friends. Just someone to go to Starbucks with every once in a while or something like that. I am not ready for a relationship and do not want one. A fuck buddy would be nice, but I would rather have a girl friend. I guess because of my lack of actual girl friends in grade school it made me value relationships more. Thatll probably change as I start fucking girls and stuff, but for now I really just want some female friends. It seems like it would be significally easier to cold approach a girl and become friends with her, but I just dont know how to go about doing it.
Alls I can think of is "Hey my name is Jason" get to know her a little bit then say "you seem really cool and I would like to get to know you more and become better friends with you, put your num in my phone", but to me that sounds like a pick up.
Idk. Any thoughts?
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Cold approach to friendship
10 posts
• Page 1 of 1
by Guest » Thu May 14, 2009 6:48 pm
[size=14][b]Gaming for Female Friends[/b][/size]
Having female friends is probably one of the most powerful tools in my arsenal. It allows me to comfortably ask a female her opinion on anything, get an insight on the things women are in to, have near-instant access to pivots, set up on dates with their friends, and great practice at shootin' the shit with women. Gaming women for the sake of friendship is much easier than you might think, and I'm going to try to point you in the right direction here. : )
First, I'd like to outline the kind(s) of girls I tend to befriend. The easiest to get out of the way would be the physical aspect. Sounds kind of dickhead-ish, but I prefer to befriend beautiful women. When you befriend the right kind of beautiful women (read: confident, respects herself, social) she will ALWAYS have just as hot (or hotter) friends that in due time she's going to be chomping at the bit to introduce you to. Like I just said, you're going to want a girl who is confident. Not to be confused with full of herself. Stay away from the hardcore Princess mentality. You want her to hold herself with poise in public. Think “Normal Alpha†female. Going hand-in-hand with confidence is her self-respect (you know what that is), hygiene, style, and the 2nd most important...social prowess. Easily spotted in the field as the one who is the center of attention in her group, eye catching in a large crowd (I always refer to this as sensing her aura...not a hippy but the terminology is fun.) You might have noticed a similarity between what I'm telling you to befriend and what you're told to look for in a high-value woman to have sex with...that's because they are the same! You don't have to stick your dick in EVERYTHING. Let's size up the correlation.
[b]Cold Approaching:[/b]
You've come to realize you need to befriend the same type of girl you're wanting to hookup with/date/start relationships with. This is for a multitude of reasons, a few heavy hitters are: desensitizes you to being around that caliber of woman, social proof, most likely to have similar interests as the girls you're going after, and...well...it makes the friendship easier on the eyes. Hah! Now the approach should be basically the same thing you do to open women (if you're beyond the stage of using Mystery Method canned openers that is.) Opening with situational and open-ended, or flat out direct statements is what you need to strive towards using. The, “Hey...my friends are boring me and you guys look like an entertaining bunch. Thought I'd come over and say HI†is just as easy as anything else to use here. I like to make fun of outfits some clueless AFC or UG is wearing in the vicinity as well. That almost always guarantees a laugh. Light, humorous, and friendly should be your mindset when you go in. You're probably wondering what the difference is between the two now...well I personally don't think there is one (“Nice shoes...wanna fuck†type openers excluded.) The difference lies in what you transition to from the opener and how you do so.
You're going to want to keep things friendly throughout the conversation. Little to no kino in the 1st hour is my general rule. If you just have to get a little kino action in there, make sure you keep your hands above the elbow (upper arm, upper back, hugs, high fives, etc.) Another thing to keep in mind is distance between you and her. In normal/sexual sets, you're progressively moving closer. In platonic ones, you need to respect space for (again) at least an hour. The exceptions are going in for the accepted kino variants. If we were running game based on the Mystery Method model, we would be headed in to attraction next...but since we're gaming for platonic relationships, we're gonna skip over attraction (but not for good) and move on to comfort. You use the same comfort building techniques as you would in a normal set, just take out the sexual kino, slightly longer eye contact, and innuendo. I personally use the attraction type stuff much much later in your relationship. It comes very useful for making her think you're an attractive guy that should be dating one of her totally awesome sweet friends.
Approach > Banter > Comfort >>>>>>> Attraction
My attempt at a Mystery Method graphic.
[b]Warm Approach:[/b]
So, you've got a chick friend who has OTHER chick friends you'd like to add to your entourage. How do you get them in your pocket? Simple. Plan a night out with your guy friends, the female friend you have, and encourage her to invite her chick friends. It's a good practice to remember names and maybe even something you've been told about them to cement the correlation between you and your original fem-friend.
“Hey what's going on? I'm Smirksâ€
“I'm Jennifer.â€
“Jennifer! You're the one that got lost in the woods with *orignal fem-friend*.â€
“HAHA YES! I can't believe she told you about that...â€
Shit like that. You're going to want to relate back to your original fem-friend often in the beginning. Work out some stories about stuff you've done with her and tell them in entertaining ways! Don't embarrass her (too much) though. You're gonna want to take the role of herder if there are multiple in the group you're trying to befriend. Keep them together, move them about the bar/club together, use your elite group maneuver skills to keep the group closed off to you and the girls. This will give them all the subconscious feeling that you're their protector, and it builds trust. Trust is good.
From Date to Friend:
You just got home from a nice date with that cute little brunette you grabbed a number from in Barnes and Noble. Conversation was great, you felt comfortable in her presence and sensed she felt the same. You were a gentleman and she was a really laid back chick. You just can't help but notice the one thing missing...further attraction. This can be a sticky place to be in if you don't hand it properly, and can waste an amazing girl if you do it like the “gurus†tell you to. You don't want to just drop the girl...you want to befriend her! This is, in my opinion, the easiest thing to do. It's so easy, in fact, that once you start you need to be mindful not to let ALL of your dates end up here. Keep it sacred.
The easiest way to turn a date in to a friend is to ask her out again after that...but out with others. Take her with you to watch the game with the guys. Keep things platonic. No/little touchy. Start treating her like you do your guy friends. You might want to leave out the farting, punching, and headlocks...for now! MUAHAHAAHA. If she's as stand-up of a girl as she should be, she will most likely initiate conversation on the sudden switch to friend. You need to keep the mindset that it just happened, and you're kind of glad it did. You value her more as a friend over a girl you're dating...especially you're in this time of your life right now that isn't conducive to more than casual dating. You'd just hate to lose her after a few weeks! This will score you major “awesome guy†points...
[b]Attraction:[/b]
Once the platonic relationship is firmly planted in the soils of your lives, you can start running common attraction routines. This will work for your indirectly as I spoke of earlier. You are separating yourself from the typical male friend. You're the diamond in the rough. You're the one she'll think about when her friends ask, “Are there any good guys out there??â€
Just keep yourself from building a massive group of female friends. Keeping the number small keeps it special for the women, and small enough to work in your favor all the time. Now...leave your computer, put on some pants, and go out there and build yourself an arsenal of valuable friends.
Having female friends is probably one of the most powerful tools in my arsenal. It allows me to comfortably ask a female her opinion on anything, get an insight on the things women are in to, have near-instant access to pivots, set up on dates with their friends, and great practice at shootin' the shit with women. Gaming women for the sake of friendship is much easier than you might think, and I'm going to try to point you in the right direction here. : )
First, I'd like to outline the kind(s) of girls I tend to befriend. The easiest to get out of the way would be the physical aspect. Sounds kind of dickhead-ish, but I prefer to befriend beautiful women. When you befriend the right kind of beautiful women (read: confident, respects herself, social) she will ALWAYS have just as hot (or hotter) friends that in due time she's going to be chomping at the bit to introduce you to. Like I just said, you're going to want a girl who is confident. Not to be confused with full of herself. Stay away from the hardcore Princess mentality. You want her to hold herself with poise in public. Think “Normal Alpha†female. Going hand-in-hand with confidence is her self-respect (you know what that is), hygiene, style, and the 2nd most important...social prowess. Easily spotted in the field as the one who is the center of attention in her group, eye catching in a large crowd (I always refer to this as sensing her aura...not a hippy but the terminology is fun.) You might have noticed a similarity between what I'm telling you to befriend and what you're told to look for in a high-value woman to have sex with...that's because they are the same! You don't have to stick your dick in EVERYTHING. Let's size up the correlation.
[b]Cold Approaching:[/b]
You've come to realize you need to befriend the same type of girl you're wanting to hookup with/date/start relationships with. This is for a multitude of reasons, a few heavy hitters are: desensitizes you to being around that caliber of woman, social proof, most likely to have similar interests as the girls you're going after, and...well...it makes the friendship easier on the eyes. Hah! Now the approach should be basically the same thing you do to open women (if you're beyond the stage of using Mystery Method canned openers that is.) Opening with situational and open-ended, or flat out direct statements is what you need to strive towards using. The, “Hey...my friends are boring me and you guys look like an entertaining bunch. Thought I'd come over and say HI†is just as easy as anything else to use here. I like to make fun of outfits some clueless AFC or UG is wearing in the vicinity as well. That almost always guarantees a laugh. Light, humorous, and friendly should be your mindset when you go in. You're probably wondering what the difference is between the two now...well I personally don't think there is one (“Nice shoes...wanna fuck†type openers excluded.) The difference lies in what you transition to from the opener and how you do so.
You're going to want to keep things friendly throughout the conversation. Little to no kino in the 1st hour is my general rule. If you just have to get a little kino action in there, make sure you keep your hands above the elbow (upper arm, upper back, hugs, high fives, etc.) Another thing to keep in mind is distance between you and her. In normal/sexual sets, you're progressively moving closer. In platonic ones, you need to respect space for (again) at least an hour. The exceptions are going in for the accepted kino variants. If we were running game based on the Mystery Method model, we would be headed in to attraction next...but since we're gaming for platonic relationships, we're gonna skip over attraction (but not for good) and move on to comfort. You use the same comfort building techniques as you would in a normal set, just take out the sexual kino, slightly longer eye contact, and innuendo. I personally use the attraction type stuff much much later in your relationship. It comes very useful for making her think you're an attractive guy that should be dating one of her totally awesome sweet friends.
Approach > Banter > Comfort >>>>>>> Attraction
My attempt at a Mystery Method graphic.
[b]Warm Approach:[/b]
So, you've got a chick friend who has OTHER chick friends you'd like to add to your entourage. How do you get them in your pocket? Simple. Plan a night out with your guy friends, the female friend you have, and encourage her to invite her chick friends. It's a good practice to remember names and maybe even something you've been told about them to cement the correlation between you and your original fem-friend.
“Hey what's going on? I'm Smirksâ€
“I'm Jennifer.â€
“Jennifer! You're the one that got lost in the woods with *orignal fem-friend*.â€
“HAHA YES! I can't believe she told you about that...â€
Shit like that. You're going to want to relate back to your original fem-friend often in the beginning. Work out some stories about stuff you've done with her and tell them in entertaining ways! Don't embarrass her (too much) though. You're gonna want to take the role of herder if there are multiple in the group you're trying to befriend. Keep them together, move them about the bar/club together, use your elite group maneuver skills to keep the group closed off to you and the girls. This will give them all the subconscious feeling that you're their protector, and it builds trust. Trust is good.
From Date to Friend:
You just got home from a nice date with that cute little brunette you grabbed a number from in Barnes and Noble. Conversation was great, you felt comfortable in her presence and sensed she felt the same. You were a gentleman and she was a really laid back chick. You just can't help but notice the one thing missing...further attraction. This can be a sticky place to be in if you don't hand it properly, and can waste an amazing girl if you do it like the “gurus†tell you to. You don't want to just drop the girl...you want to befriend her! This is, in my opinion, the easiest thing to do. It's so easy, in fact, that once you start you need to be mindful not to let ALL of your dates end up here. Keep it sacred.
The easiest way to turn a date in to a friend is to ask her out again after that...but out with others. Take her with you to watch the game with the guys. Keep things platonic. No/little touchy. Start treating her like you do your guy friends. You might want to leave out the farting, punching, and headlocks...for now! MUAHAHAAHA. If she's as stand-up of a girl as she should be, she will most likely initiate conversation on the sudden switch to friend. You need to keep the mindset that it just happened, and you're kind of glad it did. You value her more as a friend over a girl you're dating...especially you're in this time of your life right now that isn't conducive to more than casual dating. You'd just hate to lose her after a few weeks! This will score you major “awesome guy†points...
[b]Attraction:[/b]
Once the platonic relationship is firmly planted in the soils of your lives, you can start running common attraction routines. This will work for your indirectly as I spoke of earlier. You are separating yourself from the typical male friend. You're the diamond in the rough. You're the one she'll think about when her friends ask, “Are there any good guys out there??â€
Just keep yourself from building a massive group of female friends. Keeping the number small keeps it special for the women, and small enough to work in your favor all the time. Now...leave your computer, put on some pants, and go out there and build yourself an arsenal of valuable friends.
- Guest
by Guest » Fri May 15, 2009 12:13 pm
Excellent post. This pretty much matches my experience.
All the same stuff will work, but tone down sexuality and sexual tension and kino. Even in normal game I'd say there's nothing wrong with skipping attraction, or at least getting through it in only a little bit of time. But to get into comfort, you still need as a prerequisite at least a certain level of conversation. You don't need her to be attracted to you, but you need her to be at least slightly interested in who you are. For friends, you still want to be high value, but it has to be earned and demonstrated through things other than flirting.
Vector's patented "ninja method" is sorta like this, in that comfort comes [i]first[/i], and she becomes attracted [i]later[/i]. Skip "attraction" but establish that I'm interesting. Comfort, open up, convey who I am, express curiosity about her. More comfort, convey "high value" characteristics, sexual tension. Only then does she become attracted to me. Because attractive value is conveyed in comfort, it can be a lot deeper and richer than anything that can be communicated in 3 minutes in a loud, distracting environment.
All the same stuff will work, but tone down sexuality and sexual tension and kino. Even in normal game I'd say there's nothing wrong with skipping attraction, or at least getting through it in only a little bit of time. But to get into comfort, you still need as a prerequisite at least a certain level of conversation. You don't need her to be attracted to you, but you need her to be at least slightly interested in who you are. For friends, you still want to be high value, but it has to be earned and demonstrated through things other than flirting.
Vector's patented "ninja method" is sorta like this, in that comfort comes [i]first[/i], and she becomes attracted [i]later[/i]. Skip "attraction" but establish that I'm interesting. Comfort, open up, convey who I am, express curiosity about her. More comfort, convey "high value" characteristics, sexual tension. Only then does she become attracted to me. Because attractive value is conveyed in comfort, it can be a lot deeper and richer than anything that can be communicated in 3 minutes in a loud, distracting environment.
- Guest
by Guest » Sun May 31, 2009 2:18 pm
I'm gonna add this to this post because it's a direct result of it.
Txt exchange from a recent blond I met downtown and started talking to.
Smirks: No retard...crawfish boil was yesterday. Today is the lake. Good thing you're not my secretary.
BlondieCurls: ...That's one of the most attractive things about you.
Smirks: That I need a secretary??
BlondieCurls: That and this whole I always have something going on thing you do
Smirks: explain
BlondieCurls: Every time I talk to you, you're doing something with someone new...Ive met 5 sets of friends of yours and have known you 2 weeks.
Making friends helps you in all aspects.
Txt exchange from a recent blond I met downtown and started talking to.
Smirks: No retard...crawfish boil was yesterday. Today is the lake. Good thing you're not my secretary.
BlondieCurls: ...That's one of the most attractive things about you.
Smirks: That I need a secretary??
BlondieCurls: That and this whole I always have something going on thing you do
Smirks: explain
BlondieCurls: Every time I talk to you, you're doing something with someone new...Ive met 5 sets of friends of yours and have known you 2 weeks.
Making friends helps you in all aspects.
- Guest
by Guest » Sun May 31, 2009 4:10 pm
[quote1243804219=Smirks]
I'm gonna add this to this post because it's a direct result of it.
Txt exchange from a recent blond I met downtown and started talking to.
Smirks: No retard...crawfish boil was yesterday. Today is the lake. Good thing you're not my secretary.
BlondieCurls: ...That's one of the most attractive things about you.
Smirks: That I need a secretary??
BlondieCurls: That and this whole I always have something going on thing you do
Smirks: explain
BlondieCurls: Every time I talk to you, you're doing something with someone new...Ive met 5 sets of friends of yours and have known you 2 weeks.
Making friends helps you in all aspects.
[/quote1243804219]
This seems to be going in the opposite direction of Just Friends.
I'm gonna add this to this post because it's a direct result of it.
Txt exchange from a recent blond I met downtown and started talking to.
Smirks: No retard...crawfish boil was yesterday. Today is the lake. Good thing you're not my secretary.
BlondieCurls: ...That's one of the most attractive things about you.
Smirks: That I need a secretary??
BlondieCurls: That and this whole I always have something going on thing you do
Smirks: explain
BlondieCurls: Every time I talk to you, you're doing something with someone new...Ive met 5 sets of friends of yours and have known you 2 weeks.
Making friends helps you in all aspects.
[/quote1243804219]
This seems to be going in the opposite direction of Just Friends.
- Guest
by Guest » Sun May 31, 2009 4:42 pm
She's met 5 sets of friends that started with a female friend I met randomly. Should have pointed that out. I'm also pointing out that making those friends is evidently noticed and something to be desired. I'm wanting to emphasize that you need to work on your friend base just as much as your vagina base. : )
- Guest
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