Maaaan I want to be sexual.

[Guest]

This is kind of unrelated, but I just thought about it and I thought I should share. Something I've come to realize is that I never blame the girl. I always blame myself for a set/date/whatever gone sour. I think this is both good and bad. On one hand, it's good that I take responsibility and always learn (although that's not always true :/) but it sucks because I'm usually hard on myself. A lot of my friends (male and female) always call girls "bitches" who won't talk to them/do something bitchy, but I hardly ever agree with them. What do you guys think?

[Guest]

"Something I've come to realize is that I never blame the girl"

That's basic performing art stuff! You have to assume it's your fault. Because you can fix you. You can't fix them. Blaming anyone but yourself isn't productive, just be careful not to stress it. You've got time to fuck a LOT of girls before you die. Patience is the key to all doors. You're doing fine, I promise.

As for assertiveness, No means no, but a lesser known, more useful corollary to this rule is, silence means yes.

That doesn't mean you get to be a dick, it just means that if all else fails, assume it's on. She'll let you know if it isn't.

If you want to touch her arm, touch her arm, if you want to kiss her, kiss her. You don't learn how to be assertive by trying to figure out how she likes you to be assertive.

[Guest]

[quote1240947971=Brownie]
This is kind of unrelated, but I just thought about it and I thought I should share. Something I've come to realize is that I never blame the girl. I always blame myself for a set/date/whatever gone sour. I think this is both good and bad. On one hand, it's good that I take responsibility and always learn (although that's not always true :/) but it sucks because I'm usually hard on myself. A lot of my friends (male and female) always call girls "bitches" who won't talk to them/do something bitchy, but I hardly ever agree with them. What do you guys think?
[/quote1240947971]


I am the exact opposite.
I always blame the girl, you know this because I was calling every girl who wouldn't have a conversation with me on Saturday a slut.
I still think even if the girl won't talk to me at first tho there is always something I can do to make her respond.
So basically, it is my job to keep the conversation going towards a positive subject and the girl is just a slut lol.
It is good to rethink what you were doing in set, but you are definitely too hard on yourself.
Chill out bro.
Breathe.
Look at the talent and go for it.
Maybe it wasn't your fault.
Maybe she was just having a bad day.

[Guest]

[quote1240949584=Brownie]


Nice post. I honestly don't like tactics/lines and all that, but I guess they are necessary at the beginning...? I prefer just getting comfortable with my inner sexual self. I know I got some man in me, but I feel like he's just afraid to shine. As for the kiss during the date, you're just saying I should say "hey, come here" and grab her and pull her in randomly and kiss her? I know my friend says he makes out with girls when he takes them to the movies. I think that's pointless, but would you suggest that? I appreciate the advice.
[/quote1240949584]


Are tactics/lines necessary in the beginning? In the beginning of your self improvement maybe. At the beginning of a relationship? No.

You might need to use some of these tactics in order to see things clearer. Meaning right now you don't realize what you can do. You don't realize that it is ok to kiss. You haven't been properly calibrated. So using these yes they will help you. Eventually you will not have to rely on tactics.

Yes during the date I am suggesting you man up and make a move. You don't need to wait until the end of the date. That is when she is going to expect you to make a move. Make the move at some high point of the date. If things are going well there should be a high point. My suggestion is to make your move when you are close to her for some reason. Don't just all the sudden walk over 4 feet and lean in for the kiss. Maybe do it while you guys are dancing or you have just spun her around. Give yourself a reason that doesn't seem odd to be close to her. Make sure you have some really good eye contact before you move in. This is your cue.

Making out at the movies? First I don't recommend taking a new girl to the movies. That is just an awkward first date. If you are in high school or something like that fine. But at our age I think you should rethink this. Plus I don't make out with any girl in the movies. Maybe a random kiss but not a make out.

[Guest]

Look at it rationally. Some times she is just being a bitch...for what ever reason that may be (PMS, previous fight w/ someone, saw you hitting on someone else, work issue, just doesn't like you, etc.) Some times, it may be you (you opened horribly, you have the BL of the Hunchback of Notre Dame, your speaking like you're afraid she's about to hit you, you're creepy, etc.)

You live, you learn. Good or bad.

[Guest]

[quote1240958105=MentalAlex]
"Something I've come to realize is that I never blame the girl"

That's basic performing art stuff! You have to assume it's your fault. Because you can fix you. You can't fix them. Blaming anyone but yourself isn't productive, just be careful not to stress it. You've got time to fuck a LOT of girls before you die. Patience is the key to all doors. You're doing fine, I promise.

As for assertiveness, No means no, but a lesser known, more useful corollary to this rule is, silence means yes.

That doesn't mean you get to be a dick, it just means that if all else fails, assume it's on. She'll let you know if it isn't.

If you want to touch her arm, touch her arm, if you want to kiss her, kiss her. You don't learn how to be assertive by trying to figure out how she likes you to be assertive.
[/quote1240958105]

"Silence means yes." I like that. A lot. I guess I was just really nervous to make a move last night because the girl recently broke up with her boyfriend and we had been friends for a while before that. I feel like if you make a move on a friend and if she denies, it would make things awkward. But I guess it only gets awkward if I make it awkward.

[quote1240958219=Urban Legend]I am the exact opposite.
I always blame the girl, you know this because I was calling every girl who wouldn't have a conversation with me on Saturday a slut.
I still think even if the girl won't talk to me at first tho there is always something I can do to make her respond.
So basically, it is my job to keep the conversation going towards a positive subject and the girl is just a slut lol.
It is good to rethink what you were doing in set, but you are definitely too hard on yourself.
Chill out bro.
Breathe.
Look at the talent and go for it.
Maybe it wasn't your fault.
Maybe she was just having a bad day.[/quote1240958219]

Hahah you did call every girl a slut, but it's cool. Remember when that girl looked at you and said "it's Brad Pitt"? That was hilarious.

While I'm in the field, I definitely need to take it easy on myself. Now, I'm okay, but I have a feeling when I get back out there, it'll be the same shit again. Maybe I just keep pushing myself until that feeling passes.

[quote1240958383=playercool]Are tactics/lines necessary in the beginning? In the beginning of your self improvement maybe. At the beginning of a relationship? No.

You might need to use some of these tactics in order to see things clearer. Meaning right now you don't realize what you can do. You don't realize that it is ok to kiss. You haven't been properly calibrated. So using these yes they will help you. Eventually you will not have to rely on tactics.

Yes during the date I am suggesting you man up and make a move. You don't need to wait until the end of the date. That is when she is going to expect you to make a move. Make the move at some high point of the date. If things are going well there should be a high point. My suggestion is to make your move when you are close to her for some reason. Don't just all the sudden walk over 4 feet and lean in for the kiss. Maybe do it while you guys are dancing or you have just spun her around. Give yourself a reason that doesn't seem odd to be close to her. Make sure you have some really good eye contact before you move in. This is your cue.

Making out at the movies? First I don't recommend taking a new girl to the movies. That is just an awkward first date. If you are in high school or something like that fine. But at our age I think you should rethink this. Plus I don't make out with any girl in the movies. Maybe a random kiss but not a make out.[/quote1240958383]

I see where you're coming from. I don't know what I can get away with right now and with these techniques, I can see the potential. I gotta find some of these techniques and put a little Brownie spice on them. Any particular ones you personally suggest? I should mention that I'm listening to Blueprint right now and that's it. I normally don't like the idea of using lines, which is why I chose to listen to Blueprint as opposed to other more "checklist" methods, but I think it might be necessary for me at the beginning.

[Guest]

[quote1240959232=Brownie]

I see where you're coming from. I don't know what I can get away with right now and with these techniques, I can see the potential. I gotta find some of these techniques and put a little Brownie spice on them. Any particular ones you personally suggest? I should mention that I'm listening to Blueprint right now and that's it. I normally don't like the idea of using lines, which is why I chose to listen to Blueprint as opposed to other more "checklist" methods, but I think it might be necessary for me at the beginning.
[/quote1240959232]

I have a feeling you are putting a shit load of pressure on yourself to get a Kiss. You need to step back and relax a second. I know right now this might seem like a huge deal but in the end a kiss is so minor.

It all depends on the situation and circumstances. For example I might get a girl into my hot tub. I have had many first kisses with a girl in the hot tub. It allows for me to escalate very easily.

Let's say you don't have a hot tub at your disposal. Maybe you are at your place and you guys are bullshitting watching a movie or tv. I use the mute button a lot and try to keep some sort of conversation going. At some point you can call the girl shy. She will of course say nope I'm not shy why do you say that. Then you can say well you haven't given me a little kiss yet. If she is into you she will more than likely say "well I think you should come over here and kiss me". Now if you are not a homo you should go over and kiss her. If she says yes she is shy you can say "that explains why you haven't given me a little kiss yet". I always use the word LITTLE.

I want you to do something for me. Think about this and ask yourself this question: Why is this girl currently with me?

Now there could be many answers to that question. But when I think about why a girl is with me this is the thought that goes through my head. She is with me because she is interested in ME. Now if what I am doing in the circumstance is correct she should be INTO ME. This means that I should be able to kiss her and she will kiss me back. Therefore with that mind set I don't think about anything except success. I just find the right time and typically just pull the girl into me and kiss her. Keep in mind I am not talking about making out. I keep the first kiss pretty simple. Either no or very limited tongue. I typically only use tongue on the first kiss if she initiates it. I keep the kiss under 20 seconds and I try my damndest to pull away first. Keep her wanting more.

[Guest]

[quote1240964760=Brownie]


Nice post. I honestly don't like tactics/lines and all that, but I guess they are necessary at the beginning...? I prefer just getting comfortable with my inner sexual self. I know I got some man in me, but I feel like he's just afraid to shine. As for the kiss during the date, you're just saying I should say "hey, come here" and grab her and pull her in randomly and kiss her? I know my friend says he makes out with girls when he takes them to the movies. I think that's pointless, but would you suggest that? I appreciate the advice.
[/quote1240964760]

women like that dramatic first kiss. like i think PC said do it at some other high point in the date, not for the first time, at the end. That's cliche, boring, and too much of a courtship frame.

here's my best way to get a date/meetup/d2, whatever you want to call it....a bit more sexual. I've posted this before.

First time you get up to go to the bathroom, say , "don't look at my ass while i'm walking to the bathroom..." with a slight grin... and just walk away. Next time when SHE goes, say "good..now i can look at your ass while you walk to the bathroom" (with the same sly grin). A) every girl knows you are gonna look at their ass and scope them out, b) you are a man about it and admit it. amps up the tension a little bit, and it's fun. 99% chance as she is walking to the bathroom, she is going to look back to see if you are in fact looking at her ass, you look right at her and smile, and don't divert your eyes. She's gonna savor it. Field tested many, many times. Oh... just do it with girls with good bodies, obviously not someone who will be overly self conscious about it....ie, those girls that "if they are haulin ass, they are makin two trips".. type. Obviously delivery is key. At the sake of sounding like the PUA monkey Grimm referred to, confidence is key in the delivery.

ok at this point, they've come back, conversation will be on, and a lot more fun, usually they will continue this thread somehow...it'll be light, fun banter... lock some eye contact, and go in for the kiss. Just one technique for ya right there.

dooon't do the walk to the door, lean in for a kiss, romantic comedy movie stuff.

oh and rest assured this is coming from someone that knows your plight. I spent first half of my twenties as that guy that would sit through entire movies at my place, sometime putting in a 2nd one, trying to gather up courage to make a freekin move. :) yea...real bad.

[Guest]

[quote1241719992=TopDog]women like that dramatic first kiss. like i think PC said do it at some other high point in the date, not for the first time, at the end. That's cliche, boring, and too much of a courtship frame.

here's my best way to get a date/meetup/d2, whatever you want to call it....a bit more sexual. I've posted this before.

First time you get up to go to the bathroom, say , "don't look at my ass while i'm walking to the bathroom..." with a slight grin... and just walk away. Next time when SHE goes, say "good..now i can look at your ass while you walk to the bathroom" (with the same sly grin). A) every girl knows you are gonna look at their ass and scope them out, b) you are a man about it and admit it. amps up the tension a little bit, and it's fun. 99% chance as she is walking to the bathroom, she is going to look back to see if you are in fact looking at her ass, you look right at her and smile, and don't divert your eyes. She's gonna savor it. Field tested many, many times. Oh... just do it with girls with good bodies, obviously not someone who will be overly self conscious about it....ie, those girls that "if they are haulin ass, they are makin two trips".. type. Obviously delivery is key. At the sake of sounding like the PUA monkey Grimm referred to, confidence is key in the delivery.

ok at this point, they've come back, conversation will be on, and a lot more fun, usually they will continue this thread somehow...it'll be light, fun banter... lock some eye contact, and go in for the kiss. Just one technique for ya right there.

dooon't do the walk to the door, lean in for a kiss, romantic comedy movie stuff.

oh and rest assured this is coming from someone that knows your plight. I spent first half of my twenties as that guy that would sit through entire movies at my place, sometime putting in a 2nd one, trying to gather up courage to make a freekin move. :) yea...real bad. [/quote1241719992]

Yeah, I like that. I'll definitely use that or something like it in the future. I just like hinting at kissing/doing other things later in the day while on that date. And would you mind elaborating on your change? It's always nice to hear a story on how a person has transformed.

[Guest]

[quote1241802200=Brownie]
And would you mind elaborating on your change? It's always nice to hear a story on how a person has transformed.
[/quote1241802200]

I have started several "My Journey" type posts which for one reason or another I always end up not posting. maybe I'll try to actually finish one, and end up posting it..