Taking Back Our Manhood

[Guest]

The other day I was re-reading a post I had made about developing into a well-rounded, attractive person. [link=http://www.dallaslair.org/p/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?20725]Link[/link]. The name of the post was Being a Man of Value. And, it had a long list of things that one should do to try to raise your value as a man. While the entire post is full of great advice and provides a great checklist of things to do to be the best you possible, I realize now that I was a little bit off. I didn’t quite get it…

My LTR has a 3 year-old boy. I know that I deeply care for her because I have continued to engage her in a relationship despite the fact that she does have a child. Now, I’m a bit unique in that I’ve always said that I have no desire to have my own children. I consider myself to be a great person with great traits and genes, anyone would be lucky to inherit my biology. But, I am this person DESPITE the genes that I inherited from my father. The mere chance that my offspring could, in any way, mirror my father has resulted in me never wanting to have my own children. His biology dies with me.

But, I DO want to be a father. I have a yearning, a desire to teach a boy how to be a man. To impart upon him wisdom that he can take, hopefully embrace, and embark on his journey to become his own man. Being a ‘man,’ and being your ‘own man’ are two totally different things. It is my hope and desire to give him some insight into what being a man means. I will be willing to be a father to someone else’s biology. There will be traits that he possesses that I will never be able to change, but I can at least give him the tools of Life. Provide him with the confidence to stand up in a world that puts less and less of a premium on being a man, and figuratively flick the world the bird and walk through his life being a man. No apologizes, no regrets.

Our dialogue is simple. When he cries for a stupid reason, I look him in the eyes (he’s learned that men look people in the eyes when they discuss topics of importance…we’re making progress) and ask him if he wants to be a man. He always says yes. You see, all boys want to be men. It’s innate. But, he doesn’t know what that means. So, it’s my job to teach him. As much as I hate to admit it, I don’t have all the answers. Neither do you. No one does. But, a 3 year-old has taught me more about being a man than anyone in my life. Imagine that, someone that knows so little has taught me more about being a man than all of my 29 years on this planet. For that, I will forever thank him.

Which brings me back to my Being a Man of Value post.

I see the world a little differently these days. I understand now that my post should have been titled Being a Man.

Fact is that everything we do and learn in pick-up is grounded in that single concept. Society has failed us. Our parents didn’t teach us. We are lost. But, we have found a glimmer of hope in the Community. The fact is that this entire movement is about learning to be the man, under the guise of picking-up women, that we were always meant to be that was inhibited by an ever-weakening society.

Think about our techniques, think about what they subcommunicate. A few words come to mind:

Confidence
A leader
Protector
Secure
Aggressive
Fearless
Respect
Sexual

Do these words all seem to be very masculine to you? They should, because they are. These are the things that men do. This is how they act.

Take a natural. When you’re around one, are you a little intimidated? Well, you should be. Because, they understand what it means to be a man. And, they act as such. Sure, they get women, but once you understand who they are and what they do then that should be a given. For thousands of years, women have always been attracted to MEN.

Makes sense huh?

The question remains:

Can you be someone that you are not?

My answer:

Yes. You can be what ever it is that you want. But, in order to be that person, you have to learn how to be a man.

And, so it goes. I will never sit here and tell any one of you that I am a man and you are not. The fact is that I’m just as lost as you. However, we can learn together. I have devised a few chapters to this thread (which I have always thought should be addressed and with a few guys’ encouragement has become a reality, you know who you are and I salute you) in which I will outline what I think are the key aspects to taking back the manhood that we rightly deserve.

In the end, I refuse to be Oprahtized. If I have to use women to learn to be a man, then guess what? So be it. And, for each one of you that I have used for a bigger purpose than Us, understand that I thank you and will always remember you just as you will always remember me.

Outline of chapters:

A Boy and His Dog
The Recipe for Growth
Taking A-ccount, Your Balance Sheet
Sabbaticals
Set Your Goals Too High
They Will Remember You
Never Surrender
Words Mean Things
Take Time to Reflect
Love IS NOT Enough
Become a Target
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Time vs. Hunger

[Guest]

Is it possible though to learn how to become a man? I'm starting to question this myself. You joined this forum in October 2007 and you're saying you're no different than where you first were when you first joined?

I know in my case, I think it's going to be tough. I was raised by a single mother with 2 sisters. I'm not that feminine in my actions, but I notice certain un-masculine traits that I have. I know 20 is a relatively young age, but I still think I have a lot of growing up to do. I just don't want to grow up too late.

I really have a desire to be better, but I just don't think I have the direction.

[Guest]

no, he said, he's just as lost as the rest of us. There isn't a Cosmo for men that tells us how to drive her wild. we have men magazines but those focus on sex, not the other necessary manly traits (some in which have been found) he listed.

Like he said, our parents, namely our fathers, didnt teach most of us how to be men. in the absence of guidance people teach themselves, and in particular people who have be joined for whatever purpose answer questions that arise, and since there is virtually no material out there, thats what he seeks to fix.

There is a way to learn it, which i'm assuming he'll be covering in this series, so keep posted. And as always questions are welcome.

[Guest]

[quote1239825201=Brownie]You joined this forum in October 2007 and you're saying you're no different than where you first were when you first joined?[/quote1239825201]


That was never said.

I have a lot of great insights into what it takes. My time here has taught me those lessons, some I have followed, some I have not.


[quote1239825201=Brownie]I really have a desire to be better, but I just don't think I have the direction.[/quote1239825201]


Give this thread some time to develop some meat...this will be a weekly thing, much like PP's Weekly Reminders.

I have outlined a handful of chapters that all have lessons that I've learned. I suspect you guys will have input and lessons to share that I have not learned.

[Guest]

I want to preface this by saying that a lot of what I have just written is a little sappy. I consider a lot of it to be a tribute. Tough it out and look for the message…it’s in there, it always is when the Bull posts. Being emotionally charged reframes your world, but I assure you, that before I posted this I reviewed it with the utmost amount of logic and reason. Everything is a learning lesson…

A Boy and His Dog

I’m going to come right out and say it…woman cannot make tough decisions. When emotions get involved, women simply cannot ‘pull the trigger’ in an accurate fashion. One of the aspects of the Community that has always resonated strongly with me is that women are emotionally driven. Their emotions drive their thoughts, their thoughts drive their decisions, and their decisions drive their lives.

As PUAs, we seek to short circuit this simplified thought process. We tug and pull on their emotional levers is such a way so as to make their decisions result in an outcome that we desire. It sounds a lot like manipulation, and in many ways it is, but keep in mind that with manipulation you are controlling someone. I will never concede the point that we can control anyone. Instead, we influence them and stack the deck in our favor, but we can never 100% control anyone.

And, there in lies a very fundamental difference between being a man and not.

Emotionally driven decisions. Sometimes, life is hard. Sometimes, life is painful. Sometimes, life requires tough decisions. This is where a man comes in. We have been blessed with a gift…the ability to cut through the fog of emotion and make tough, logical decisions. Women, with their emotion and compassion, have a free pass in this department. It is in their nature to nurture, to shower others with love, even when this shower burns those taking it.

This past weekend, I drove to Houston to visit a friend. He’s my oldest friend, going on 21 years now. But, just because he’s my oldest friend, doesn’t make him my closest friend. No, no. That distinction belongs to another, my childhood dog: Bear.

[b]Easter Sunday[/b]

Here I am, driving back to Dallas from Houston, blazing down the highway hoping to God that I don’t get pulled over but expecting to see the red and blue in the rear view mirror at any moment.

I’m driving in a pack of cars and, as we all know, I feel comforted by the fact that I’m in a group that’s, collectively, breaking the law. Safety in numbers right? Wrong.

As the day passes I see at least 4 of my fellow misdemeanor violators get pulled over by the 5.0. I, however, am spared. At the time I believed it was dumb luck, part of me still does. The other part thought it was something bigger, more powerful. Fate? Maybe, if you believe in that sort of thing.

Eventually, I arrive at my mother’s house. My future seems all too predictable and familiar, a holiday dinner with my mom, sister, and niece. We’ll drink good wine (because I picked it out), eat good food (because my mom has finally learned to cook), talk about the good times, forget the bad times, and, of course, disgruntled discussion of the father (husband) that we know no longer. It feels as if I’ve been here a million times before. Walking in, it seemed so routine.
When all we have is routine, we long for something else. I know I did. Sometimes we get what we ask for…

As soon as I walk in, I see my mother:

Bull Run: “Happy Easter pretty lady…”

Mom: “Something’s wrong with Bear.”

Bull Run: I’ve been here before. “Mom, he’s an old dog. 16 years old. He has good days and he has bad days. It was cold last night, and a little nippy today. I’m sure it’s just a bad day.” I knew better. I had been waiting for the other shoe to drop…

I’ve known for a while that he has…had…congestive heart failure. I knew that he had an expiration date, of sorts. But, as long as he had more good days than bad days I was willing to let him fight it out. Shit, just a week ago, I took him for a short walk and he was as spry as you can expect a 16 year-old dog to be. Still though, I knew he didn’t have long. But, as long as he was willing to fight, I was willing to let him. He and I were so close, such good friends, that I knew he would let me know when it was time…even if I didn’t want to listen.

After the warning from my mom, I go check on him. I didn’t see him initially, but I could hear him…a sound I will never forget. I flipped on the light switch and saw him huddled in the corner, he was very obviously trying to hide himself from sight. He was seeking isolation.

Again, he’s old. 16 years old. That’s a long life for any dog, even longer for a mid-sized dog. He’s been living on borrowed time for a long time. When you look at him, you see a puppy. Literally. I’ve spent the last 10 years telling people how old he was. But, when you age, you simply lose a little bit of capacity. In his case, he was virtually blind and close to deaf. Again, you wouldn’t know it by watching him. But, I knew because I knew him when he was young.

Despite his handicaps, he picked up his head, labored to turn his body, and walked towards me. I was impressed that he even got to his feet, let alone three steps. Then, he collapsed.

Wheezing, ashamed, tail laboring to wag. To most he looked pathetic, to me, he looked like the prideful, loving friend that I’ve always known, refusing to back down in the face of adversity.

Even though he’s blind and couldn’t raise his head to look my way, like normal. Force of habit I guess.

Within 2 minutes, I had him in the car to the ER.

Within 10 minutes, I had him at the ER.

A few bits of paperwork later, I was talking to the Vet in a consultation room with my mom and sister (my niece was dropped off at her father’s house). The x-ray was more than shocking. His abdomen had filled with fluid, a common symptom of CHF, so much so that it compressed his lungs. He was literally drowning.

We had two options. Treatment with a cockney of drugs potentially buying him a few weeks, at tops, or we put him down.

My mother and sister tried to convince me to buy him more time.

Mom and Sis: “We can have him a little bit longer…it’s not time to say goodbye. We haven’t had our time yet.”

Bull Run: “No. He’s my dog. I knew this day was coming. I wish it would have come a little later, but he can’t fight any longer. I respect that. It’s time to let him go.”

Mom and Sis: “But, he’s a fighter. He always has been. He can fight through this…we’re not done yet.”

Bull Run: I’m almost balling at this point. “No matter how much you love someone, no matter how much you’ve been with them, the amount of time you’ve spent together is NEVER enough.”

Bull Run: “We can buy him time, but he’s the one that’s going to pay for our decision. He’s MY friend and HE’s ready to go. It’s time for US to honor the decision HE’s made…”

And, so it goes. I always said that when he had more bad days than good days it was his time to go. Well, this was the worst day.

The Vet asked us about ‘arrangements.’ Well, he has no burial plot so that was out of the question. The only other option was cremation. But, how? A private company could do it, or the city.

Bull Run: “So, doc. If the city does it will he be cremated with other dogs?”

Vet: “Yes. They cremate them in a communal fashion.”

Bull Run: “NO! My dog, my friend!!!! Will NOT be cremated with a bunch of others. He was an individual. He will be cremated alone.”

Vet: “Ok, they price by the weight. He’s 35 pounds, so…”

Bull Run: “Price cannot buy his individuality…whatever it takes.”

From here on, time stretched out like a razor blade. A slow motion replay of my life. How do you say goodbye?

He came into my life when I was 13. A fat, lonely kid that needed a friend. He was my best-friend and for the longest time, my only friend. To this day, I consider him to be the most true friend I’ve ever had. He loved me regardless and I returned the favor. Then, I grew out of him. My caterpillar turned into a butterfly and, in the process, I forgot what lifted me up to the level that allowed me to transform. I built myself off the back of him, for that, I can never repay him.

Looking back now, he was the first set I ever ran. I practiced my storytelling and joke telling skills on him in my youth. He never laughed, of course, or understood, but he knew I needed to talk, and so, he listened…and, he listened with enthusiasm.

A boy and his dog.

A man, learning the final lesson his dog could teach.

The transformation that he sparked was close to complete.

Bear: “Bull Run, make the tough decision…I’m tired. I’ve lived this long for you. You’re going to be OK. You’re no longer a boy, you’ve blossomed…you’re something more. What is that? I don’t know. But, my time has come. I’m leaving because I believe in you.”

I told him one last joke before he went…I hope he heard me. Not because it was good, because in truth it sucked, but because I want him to know that I learned to stand up and take what life dishes out, and to do so with pride and love, just like he did.

Gentlemen, if I was not there, I would be sitting here looking at a dog doped up on ‘life saving’ drugs. Although I would be fronting the money for his meds, he would be paying the price to live a life that he very obviously did not want.

Yes, he was just a dog. But, in many ways, he was the best man I ever met in my lifetime. Everything he did came with a lesson. Usually I could never decipher his agenda, but on Easter Sunday I recognized it immediately.

Bear: “Bull Run, make the tough decision. My life is in your hands, I want to be with you, but not like this. Make the tough decision, be the man I know you can be…”

You held on for me to arrive on Easter, you got up and tried to greet me when I was there, and just before you left you raised your head and tried to find me…I was there, I love you, I miss you, and I thank you.

I hope you were happy.

Men, make tough decisions based on logic and reason. If I listened to my emotions, I’d be able to glance down at a doped up, old dog waiting to wear out.

This is a microcosm of my life, but his lesson cannot be ignored. It seems like an easy decision when you’re looking on the outside in. But, I implore you to think of it differently. If your best friend begged you to make a tough decision that no one else would be willing to make, would you make the decision?

Men think, women feel.

Bear, you will be missed...

[Guest]

What a fucking pansy!!!

Seriously. Man up.

This is what I think when I read that emotionally charged dribble above.

I’m a writer. I’ve always written things down. Things that are bothering me, things that I want, experiences I’ve had, my various beliefs and philosophies. I write because when I do so, when I put words to paper, I make what’s in my head REAL. This is a powerful technique. When thoughts are real, they change you, they kick you in the ass, they help you deal, they heal wounds.

Yes, I did have to put my dog down on Easter. Yes, it was a tough decision. Yes, I’m upset about him no longer being with me.

But, why should this experience be praised? Why is it a life lesson?

Because, what I wrote is exactly what society has done to take away my manhood. An emotional diatribe about a boy and his dog. Sure, he was, in many ways, my last link to my childhood. He was a symbol of the innocence of that time. And, now that he’s gone I feel as if the innocence of my childhood is gone. But, it has been for a while. Now, it’s been manifested in the physical world.

I wanted to write an emotionally charged post like this to show you guys the damage that society has inflicted on me, and on you. So, I took the pain I felt from losing my dog and added a little bit of liquor and voila you have a post driven by emotion but talking of the virtue of making logical decisions.

Again, it’s a tough situation to be the person that pulls the trigger on another life, especially a close friend (I make no distinction between a dog and a person, he was just as human to me as any of you guys). But, that is the life of a man. This deserves no praise. Any one of us should have made exactly the same decision. That’s life guys, sometimes its sucks. Sometimes you have to make tough decisions, but when you make decisions that are supposed to be made you deserve zero praise. You were just being a man and living life. Period.

But, Oprah and her cronies have convinced us that doing the tough things that were supposed to do is virtuous. When did that happen? It’s like being congratulated for taking a shit in the toilet instead of in your boss’s office. You’re supposed to shit in the toilet! There is no virtue in doing what you’re supposed to do.

The above post was 100% real. It was exactly what happened and exactly how I felt/feel. I’m not afraid to admit that to you, or anyone else. But, it’s not a subject worthy of a post. It’s not an example of being a man. The fact is that, up until now, only a handful of people know my dog died. Maybe 4 or 5, including my mother and sister. The virtue isn’t in the pain, it’s in dealing with the emotions that tough decisions stir up and MOVING ON.

When the pieces fall apart, a man doesn’t sit around and cry about it. No, he takes his blows, composes himself, and pushes back. You pick up the pieces and move on. No attention, no compassion, no accolades. He understands that sometimes life sucks and it never turns out as planned. But he is never defeated. The virtue is in moving on, not enduring a painful moment.

No woman wants to be with a man that lets life get him down. No woman wants to be with a man that cannot make tough decisions.

[Guest]

I just wanted to add a different aspect.

We are all here because our fathers failed us in some aspect, or we were curious and this story highlighted a point where my dad has failed in teaching me manhood.

He has a dog he refuses to put down, he is 14 years old, is suffering hip displasia (sp), looks as if he has mange, he's going deaf, eyes are almost gone, and he sleeps all day, when he's not sleeping he is scratching and biting at his skin, he has blood in his urine and when he breathes its in heavy sighs.

I get so frustrated with him, I feel bad for the dog, but I feel that taking him instead of my dad is just wrong. If it gets any worse without him taking care of it I may end up talking to him about me doing it instead because its the humane thing to do although, I can't imagine it getting much worse, maybe I'm just procrastinating.

Looking back I see several instances where he refuses to "man up". Finances, legal issues, you name it he's neglected it at some point. He grew up without a primary male role model so I assume he didn't learn this because of that.

Very good message Bull Run.

[Guest]

The Recipe of Growth

How does one go about becoming someone that they are not?

Is it even possible to become someone you are not?

Yes, absolutely. It’s called growth, and it happens every single day to average people like you and me.

But, how does one grow? How does one transform themselves into someone that they are not?

Well, the recipe of growth only requires a handful of ingredients.

I used to be a fat guy. Saying that, of course, implies that I’m thin today, which I am not. I’m a big guy. I’ve got broad shoulders and a large chest. My build is very similar to that of the barrel chested, boxers of the turn of the 1900s. But, that at one point in my life that frame lost nearly 100 pounds.

The Vision

I’ve never really had a problem getting women, I had a problem getting the women that I really wanted. I’m lucky in that I’ve been blessed with many of the ‘soft’ traits that women desire: ambition, intelligence, charm, humor, and strength. Understand, that these are not my words because I don’t consider myself to be any of them. In my mind, I’m lazy, of average intelligence, visceral, awkward, and weak.

But, in spite of what I think, women considered me to be a person that possessed the former list of traits rather than the latter. These traits allowed me to pull women, but I had to pull them over time and when I did pull them the frame was set that it was going to be an LTR.

Sure, even as a fat guy, I pulled tail that a lot of guys considered to be ‘hot.’ But, like I said, I had to be opportunistic. I could not create an opportunity for me to talk to a chick and pull her in the initial meet. I was always inhibited by my physique, and I knew it.

But, I continued to get fatter. I’m 6 foot on a good day and, at one point, I weighed a hefty 275 pounds. When I started flirting with the 270 pound mark I noticed something, my ‘soft’ traits could no longer overshadow my physique. My fat took center stage. I found myself compensating for this by trying to become louder in an attempt to put my ‘soft’ traits in the spotlight. This only turned me into the obnoxious, fat guy.

I needed to lose weight. I wanted to lose weight. Not just because I wanted women, not just because I wanted to get women that I truly desired, but because I had lost my personality. I wanted to be me again, and in order to do so, I needed to shed the weight.

The Work

Cardio. If you want to lose weight, you need to do cardio. When I see really overweight people at the gym today lifting weights I just want to run over to them and scream in their face:

“Hey, fat ass!! Lifting weights will not shed the pounds in the manner that you need right now. I understand that cardio sucks, but if you want to achieve the vision you need to do the work. Now, get on that treadmill and run you fat fuck!!!!”

Cardio was the name of the game for me and I soon made best friends with the elliptical machine. I would routinely spend an hour on that fucking thing, pushing myself as hard as possible, punishing myself for 22+ years of being a fat, lazy asshole.

Perseverance

Working out 6 to 7 times a week, living with a massive caloric deficit is not necessarily the healthiest way to shed weight. But, I wanted this and I wanted it bad. So, I plowed through. I would routinely lose 3 to 5 pounds a week. Seriously. A week.

The problem is that you’re body needs calories to function properly. And, when you have a caloric deficit your body tends to prioritize how your calories are allocated. The brain and vital organs are on the top of the list, they’re the caloric VIPs, while the immune system is at the body of the list, they’re the fat, ugly chicks that never get past the bouncers.

So, if there was a cold, I caught it. I must have caught a cold every 3 weeks. But, I still worked out 6 to 7 days a week, even through the cold. I just toughed it out. Sure, my workouts weren’t as strenuous on the days I was sick, but I still worked out.

Within three months of starting my journey, I had lost 60+ pounds. That’s an average of 5 pounds a week. Then, I met someone. And it all changed.

Management

I’m an asset manager. I manage a handful of apartments throughout Dallas. Some are beautiful in awesome locations with a great profile of renters. Some are 25 years old, a little rundown, in marginal locations with marginal renters. But, despite the difference between the two assets, they are both manageable. They just require a different type of management. This is the same for everything in life. Everything in life is manageable; sometimes it just requires different strategies.

The girl I got mixed up with was, at that point, one of the hottest chicks I’d ever been with. She was also very well rounded as a person. She was intelligent, career oriented (she had actually won an Emmy for journalism, yes they give those out), and fun. She was everything I thought I had been working towards. The only problem was that she liked to monopolize my time.

Out of fear that she might leave, I complied.

And, I gained weight. 20 pounds over the next 6 months.

I regressed. And, I lashed out. Dumping her in “Money Can’t Buy Me Love” fashion. It was pretty funny, but not good. And, pretty disrespectful to her.

You see, I realize now that I could have easily managed the situation. Sure, she was a raging bitch. Sure, she was very controlling. But, that doesn’t mean that I couldn’t stake my claim and manage the situation better.

“If I workout, I’ll be even better for you and me.” It really was that simple.

Life throws curves, whether or not you strike out is based on how you manage those pitches.

Make it Real

And, this is the most important part. Document your journey.

Shit, it seems that all of us have PUA blogs in which we highlight our journey from AFC to PUAism.

Why not do the same thing with regard to how we’re trying to change?

When I had the vision to lose weight, I wrote it down. Here’s what I said:

“I hate you. I hate what you’ve become. But, I can change who I am. There’s an awesome person hiding under all that fat…

I made myself into this, now I have to do the work to transform myself into what I want.

I do not believe that Life wants me to fail at this…but, I DO believe that Life will get in the way.

But, just as an object requires energy to fight against inertia, I will have to be the engine that drives my transformation.

It is up to me; and me alone.

Now, GET TO WORK!”

Verbatim, gentlemen, verbatim. I wrote that note to myself and taped it to the mirror in my bathroom. I put it in the car so I could pull it out and read it for inspiration. In sports, it’s referred to as a difference maker. It kicked me in the ass more than once. Many times, it was the difference between going to the gym and not.

Then, I documented my journey. Here was my first entry:

“I’ve been at this for one week and I’ve lost 5 FUCKING POUNDS!

I feel like I’m entering a whole new world…and, I’m on my way to be the king!”

Here was my last entry after I met the girl:

“It’s amazing how far I’ve come…

No way would I have been able to pull HB if I hadn’t kicked myself in the ass for so long.”

Here was my first entry after I kicked her to the curb:

“Well, at 5 pounds a week on average and the 6 months I wasted with her, I figure I’m in to her for 7 total months…

FUCK!!!

I was right. It is up to me; and me alone.

Now, GET TO WORK!!!”

Over the next 6 months, I got to 185. Then, I started weight training and tacked on about 25 pounds. I’ve been plus or minus 10 pounds of that weight ever since.

But, it never would have happened if I didn’t follow that simple recipe:

Create your vision (what do you want?)
Work (identify what needs to be done and then do it!)
Perseverance (don’t stop going after what you want, NEVER give up!)
Manage (learn to deal with the curve balls in life and adjust accordingly)

And, most importantly, MAKE IT REAL by documenting everything because when you see your thoughts and dreams manifested in the physical world they are no longer dreams…they are real. And, what is real can be achieved.

I knew that if I worked out, I would lose weight. So, for me, in this example, identifying the work was the easy part. I will addressing this in my next post…

How do you identify what to do?

[Guest]

[quote1240591015=Finesse]
no, he said, he's just as lost as the rest of us. There isn't a Cosmo for men that tells us how to drive her wild. we have men magazines but those focus on sex, not the other necessary manly traits (some in which have been found) he listed.

Like he said, our parents, namely our fathers, didnt teach most of us how to be men. in the absence of guidance people teach themselves, and in particular people who have be joined for whatever purpose answer questions that arise, and since there is virtually no material out there, thats what he seeks to fix.

There is a way to learn it, which i'm assuming he'll be covering in this series, so keep posted. And as always questions are welcome.
[/quote1240591015]

I could see that. Like I said, I had very little father presence in my life. I see what you're saying.

[quote1240591012=Bull Run]
[quote1239825201=Brownie]You joined this forum in October 2007 and you're saying you're no different than where you first were when you first joined?[/quote1239825201]


That was never said.

I have a lot of great insights into what it takes. My time here has taught me those lessons, some I have followed, some I have not.


[quote1239825201=Brownie]I really have a desire to be better, but I just don't think I have the direction.[/quote1239825201]


Give this thread some time to develop some meat...this will be a weekly thing, much like PP's Weekly Reminders.

I have outlined a handful of chapters that all have lessons that I've learned. I suspect you guys will have input and lessons to share that I have not learned.
[/quote1240591012]

I think my post came off a little hostile and I apologize for that. I think I misunderstood your post. So far, I like what you have written. Keep it up.

[Guest]

Good post.