not good enough...it won't go away; please provide your thoughts to get over this

[Guest]

Allow me to tell you how awesome I am ...its like this shit was scripted and she was handed over to me on a plate (I love it when a plan comes together):
She took the bait last night at a bar and told me, at random "You're a cocky asshole and that's why you're a 'player'." lol
I immediately responded with the standard "don't hate me because I'm beautiful" type bullshit that works every time, and now she's in love and with any luck she'll have the pleasure of preparing my breakfast tomorrow morning. I just need to figure out that I am "good enough" for a real girl after all the work I've done.

I still, even after all the game and moderate success, feel that I'm not good enough for the woman I'm interested in, not bar trash of course. I'm after a girl right now who I can definitely obtain and secure in my stable, if I can maintain composure and not crack to whatever psychological shortcoming inspires this shit. I see her as a suitable mate, but I'm pushing myself away from it because I've suddenly given her the power to crush me. I guess I'm at the point now that I have to once again start revealing some intimate information to let her in, while still maintaining Alpha-status...and I've never done that successfully.

Read more Xuma books...again?

[Guest]

I think I've been alone for so long, living out of a suit case, that when I see anyone more than say once...ever...its a new feeling and concept for me and I don't know what's normal anymore. I've recently done nothing but lift, work on my track car in a rush for track season, and go out to pull one-nighters and get on with my life.

[Guest]

It's interesting to me that a player who apparently pulls so many SNLs has such trouble with keeping a girl.

[Guest]

[quote1237405367=Acuity]
It's interesting to me that a player who apparently pulls so many SNLs has such trouble with keeping a girl.
[/quote1237405367]

I don't have tons and tons of success...I'd love to see the posts you've read to make this assumption.

Locking in and SNL-ing is a lot different from what I'm interested in at the moment.

[Guest]

He was referring to this:

[quote1237418284=isosceles cheese]
I think I've been alone for so long, living out of a suit case, that when I see anyone more than say once...ever...its a new feeling and concept for me and I don't know what's normal anymore. I've recently done nothing but lift, work on my track car in a rush for track season, and [b]go out to pull one-nighters[/b] and get on with my life.
[/quote1237418284]

[Guest]

Down Acuity, down boy!!!

Only a few of us know IC in person. I'm one of said few. I consider him to be a friend and when he says he pulls SNLs I believe him.

As for his post, he is right. Finding a girl that you actually want to spend any extended period of time with is much, much more difficult than actually finding one to fuck.

Further, keeping a girl that you want is an even more difficult challenge than actually getting her. I, along with a handful of others here, can attest to this. And, I'm not talking just a handful of guys or guys that aren't really all that good...I'm talking about some of the big dogs. Obviously, I will not name names because these are personal issues.

IC travels all the fucking time. This lifestyle promotes one night stands. Out of town sarging is fucking awesome. You'll be surprised how SNLs just seem to always fall in your lap. Literally. (I'm not taking away from IC's skill, just stating a dynamic that I, and others, have discussed in the past).

Anyway, IC, the answer to your question is the answer to another question...

You wrote:

I just need to figure out that I am "good enough" for a real girl after all the work I've done.

It's more like, are you good enough for you?

These thoughts of inadequacy are not caused by external stimulus. Instead, they are feelings you have inside that you are projecting into the world. If you are not happy with yourself, you will not be happy with anyone else. If you don't think you're good enough, you'll always feel that you're not good enough for other people.

Hope you're well bro.

[Guest]

Thanks Bull. I'm doing pretty well right now. I'm closing up a few things here in Austin and trying to keep my head right to move into Houston on a more permanent basis.

I've had some crazy stuff going on lately that changed my life for the better...like my father is not my father which is totally a blessing and really freed my soul. I suddenly had the mentality where I could reshape my life...I am me, I'm not the things I've lived with all my life.

Its kind of funny, I have 2 things bothering me right now that have been problems all my life, this and my inability to dance.

And for the SNL comments, I'm not the man or anything, but if you're not SNL-ing at least once per month you need to re-evaluate. Its not hard when...wait for it..."indifference is the difference."

[Guest]

[quote1237501848=isosceles cheese]"indifference is the difference."[/quote1237501848]


This brought a tear to my eye...

[Guest]

isosceles cheese...im no relationships expert (nor a PUA for that matter), but here is what i think...

when it comes to picking up and keeping a girl, its entirely different. having said that, i believe that when you get into a relationship, you need to fall back into somewhat of an AFC frame. that doesnt mean that you are the typical AFC, you just have to find the happy medium.

continue to have a strong frame, still lead the interaction, still be cocky/funny...basically all the things that created the initial attraction. as the relationship grows, you will have to do some AFC shit that shows her you care. for example: we all make fun of the AFC that bought some girl flowers or paid for a nice dinner, but those are some of the things that you should do every once in a while for the girl you care for. that doesnt mean getting needy and buy her flowers every day; only reward her when she deserves it.

continue to give her the emotional high/thrills that you gave her in the early stages of pick-up. essentially, the things you learned to build attraction and become a PUA. at the same time, you have to do some AFC shit to show her that you truly like her. at some point you will have to drop the asshole act and open up and become emotionally invested to get the true experience of a relationship.

Bull Run was correct when he said that you have to believe that youre good enough for yourself before you can feel that youre good enough for her. this is just a matter of inner game. i, to this day, as confident as i may seem, still have inner game issues. i think the only way to get over this is to self-reflect. think of all the positive qualities you can offer a girl and internalize it. think of all your accomplishments in your life to this day and be proud of them, as small as they may seem.

heres an exercise from Style's book (with a tweak or two): make a list of 10 positive reasons why women would be lucky to be with you. maybe youre fit. maybe you have a cool car. youre educated. you have a career. etc, etc. each week, add 1-2 items to the list. by the end of a month you should have 14-18 reasons, and this will continue to grow. at the end of each week, review the list, internalize it, BELIEVE it! eventually, youll build your self worth....

hope that helps and good luck man...

[Guest]

Thanks man. I do have a fucking fantastic car. lol

I think everyone has some sort of issue relating to this bullshit, its impossible not to. I've come a really long way, like most people here...but apparently I'm drunk and enjoy this chick. So I'm going to make sure I don't fuck this deal up and make sexy time with a little slunt in Addison this weekend before I leave to hit Galveston for a month.