by Guest » Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:29 am
[quote1236693692=UncleHOwie]
I think you are making it too restrictive to new people. There needs to be something out there for them to read to spark interest before they decide to jump through your hoops to be a lounge member.
How would a different location for the "off topic" reduce the flame wars? Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't those involved in the last few flame wars all lounge members? I believe they were and I don't see how relocating it to the lounge could prevent that. I really wouldn't worry about it.
[/quote1236693692]
I totally disagree Howie. First, keep in mind that this is OUR community as such we can decide how others are admitted. There are 1,426 members on the boards. How many are active? Very few. Of those that are active, I would say that virtually 100% of us would have absolutely positively jumped through a small hoop to gain access to the Lounge. What is the small hoop? Actually showing up to a fucking meeting, getting to know someone in person. Why is that too restrictive?
The fact is that it only takes one or two 'bad apples' to push this community into the muck. Also, whenever a newbie posts a stupid question like: "do looks matter," which has been discussed ad nausem in the past, it causes our boards to collectively regress because we have to rewind and address an issue that holds no relevance any longer.
Do some restrictions like this create an air of elitism? Sure, a little bit. But, compared to the noobs, we are a little bit 'elite' if only because we've done so much work to get to where we are now. As such, there should be some type of social structure in place. We are not all equal here you know.
Having an FAQ section also keeps a lot of our content public. So, it's not restrictive in that sense because that's available to everyone. Vector, I'd even take that section a bit further, I'd create a manual of frequently discussed topics that are all original content to the Dallas Lair. It will give noobs an idea of what we're all about, it will prevent repetitive questions, and it will give noobs a little bit of a jump start WHILE still making it available to the public. In other words, reading our thoughts requires very little investment on their part...asking questions and picking our brains requires more investment on their part (i.e. they have to earn access to the Lounge, which requires that they meet us in real life).
Having some structure in place like this is beneficial to the noobs because it gives them the sense that they are progressing. And, we all know how important small victories like that can be in your development early on.
This also cuts down on lurkers that essentially read and steal our thoughts to use for their own. Sure, I understand this is a public forum, BUT there has to be some give and take. Lurkers just take. They haven't earned the privileged, they shouldn't be here. Fuckers.
Finally, there is this notion in the community that the 'weaker' guys won't do what's necessary to become 'one of us.' To come out with us or what not. Well, to that argument I say good. If you're such a pussy as to not WANT to be embraced by guys that are on the same journey as you then we don't want you here. These people have a ton more problems than trying to pick up girls, problems that we probably cannot help them with...an example, Sleek.
Not trying to come down on him, again, but just saying that from the beginning his issues were not based in pickup (Howie, you've admitted this as well). He's the perfect example of the community trying to help someone that did not or could not be helped by our prescriptions. We wasted a lot of time responding to his posts and trying to get things through his head. Steps like Vector outlined would greatly reduce the chances that we get another Sleek-esque individual polluting our community.
I think this is a great beginning to taking our community to the next level. I know that we've all had side discussions recently on how to go from a better forum, which this will accomplish, to a better IRL community with more active support from more experienced guys. Better, more effective meet ups (they've become sausage fests, always have been). And more accountability, for all of us, to continue to grow and improve.