Solo Sarging

[Guest]

Besides the obligatory body language discussion I have with noobs, which is almost always in need of repair, I almost always have another discussion/suggestion for them.

Noob: "Do you have any suggestions or pointers for me?"
Bull Run: "Go out alone..."
Noob: "What?"
Bull Run: "Seriously, I don't want to see you hanging around a bunch of us all the time. Go out alone and learn YOUR game on YOUR own."

Over time, I've found that this piece of advice is woefully misunderstood. Many guys walk away with advice and literally think of me as an ass. But, I don't see it that way. In my own way, I'm encouraging you to do the best thing you possibly can to learn the game.

To this day, there are more experience PUAs that would never go to a bar alone in a million years. In my opinion, the scariest thing someone can do in PU is to go to a bar ALONE and run game. So, if that is the scariest thing to do in PU, the guess what? Do it mo-fos!!!

Noob: "Alone, but, Bull Run, why?"
Bull Run: "I'm glad you asked grasshopper. Get me a drink and I'll tell you..." You'd be surprised how many guys actually comply...if you did, thanks for the drink, but the advice was worth more ;)

So, back to why?

When I first started in PU, I started alone. The first 12 months of my journey I would sarge, for all intents and purposes, completely and totally alone. Every now and again, I might be out with co-workers or with friends or a wing, rarely, and I would disappear from the group and sarge. But, in essence, I was alone. I had no wings, I had no one but me.

Then, I made friends with the members of our Community. PP, PC, Smirks, grimm, Vector, Finesse, Fenix, etc, etc (sorry if I missed someone). And, as a group, we began hanging out a lot more. Sarging together. And, you know what? My game regressed. I found that the things that worked for them I tried to incorporate into my Game only to find that I couldn't properly calibrate their techniques. I tried to overly complicate my game by tweaking on the edges, instead I should have been focusing on the 3 - 4 things that I learned worked for me. In return for regressing though, I made some great friends...not a bad trade-off.

The first 12 months, while I was alone I learned about MY game. I developed a small set of plays that I ran over and over. The next 12 months, I learned about myself. Hanging out with these guys taught me a lot about who I was as a person, not just as a PUA.

Why alone then?

1. Going to a bar alone forces you to talk to strangers. Hot or not. Men or women. When you go to a social place, you have to be social. So, sarging alone forces you to approach. Oddly enough, not being social in a social venue is considered taboo. The fear of being the outcast, i.e. not interacting with others, will force you to approach. On a personal note, ever since I started hanging out with the Community guys regularly, I've found that I'm there to hang with them first and game second.

2. Social proof is powerful, but so is creating that proof. When you sarge alone, you routinely get the "where are your friends" question. Don't ever tell them that you're alone. Instead, pull the "oh, they're over there...wait, hmm, where'd they go? Oh well, I'll catch up with them later." Then, move on to the next subject. This subcommunicates that you DO have friends and that you are confident enough to NOT be with them all the time. Give them the aura of social proof, but save that social proof for day2s.

3. You stay focused and hungry. If you enter a venue with a purpose. It could be anything. I want to get laid, I want to work on this routine, or that. Whatever. If you walk in with a goal, you will always be working towards that goal. People are generally goal-oriented. If you roll in with 5 PUAs, you tend to lose sight of what you are really there to accomplish.

4. Wings can be an asset, no doubt. I've seen beautiful wingsmanship during my time, Lion and playercool are first to come to mind. But, that's rare. So, you've got to learn to do this when you are alone. You spend the majority of your time in your life alone. If you constantly approach and game in the presence of other PUAs or friends then you're selling yourself short. You should be prepared for this every single second of the day. Sarging alone can do that for you. Further, opening a set while you have a handful of guys around you doesn't make you in the least bit special. BUT, if you open that same set without your crew, guess what? You look supremely confident.

5. You develop your playbook. This ties into two of my biggest pet peeves in pick-up: learn by doing and Occam's Razor.

First, learn by doing. I can't tell you how many times I've heard guys say: "well, if I could only just see someone else in action, then I could learn what to do." FALSE. Watching someone else in action only teaches what THEY do. It teaches you virtually nothing about how YOU should do something. This is the same as reading the rulebooks and techniques on baseball, then watching Albert Pujols in a few at bats, and then thinking you can do the same thing he can. It is not that simple. Humans learn by DOING, not watching. The saying practice makes perfect exists for a reason. I can almost guarantee you that no one out there is using techniques that are all that different from what can be found in The Game. So, what are you really watching anyway? Quit watching and just DO IT. Watching others only acts to prevent you from defining your own Game.

Second, Occam's Razor. For those of you that don't know what that means, Occam's Razor is basically the idea that the simplest method or answer is usually the correct answer. We over-complicate pick-up. Period. The fact is that it's relatively straightforward. You only need to master 4 - 5 techniques in order to be successful. For example, I rely on subtle peacocking, random openers (never anything canned), indifference, pleasure delaying (I spend a TON of time in comfort), sexual innuendos, and cock/funny. The question is, which techniques will work for you? Again, only you can decide, and you can only decide through trial and error.

The reason why sarging alone allows you to create a simple playbook is because you don't have people like me constantly whispering in your ear to do this or that or whatever. Half the time they're wrong, the other half they're on some type of power trip. God, the advice I got when I first came in the Community...total shit, for the most part anyway.

Finally, like I said, sarging alone helps you to truly define who you are and what you are all about. You have a much better understanding of yourself when you walk in a bar alone and walk out with a pocket full of numbers or a chick on your arm. Shit, you learn a lot about yourself when you walk in alone and walk out with no numbers or women.

My suggestion is simple: go out alone for an entire month. Stay away from Community guys during that time. Your Game will thank you for it...

See you...err...I hope to NOT see you in the scene ;)

[Guest]

Great post.

See, I have a new view on the whole "learn by doing" axiom nowadays. Last couple months I've taken up boxing and wrestling at a local club. It's great, in many ways trying to get good at those skills is more fun to me than pickup skills just because it's such a rush.

However, if you try to do these by "just doing," well you're going to get yourself fucked up pretty fast. You HAVE to learn technique. You have to learn to fight just so you don't get beat up. If you go out there and just TRY, you'll get exhausted in 5 minutes, then you'll get your ass kicked. In the beginning, I'd go home with bloody noses and big ass welts. Now, I'm dealing them out.

BUT...can you learn "just by watching?" HELL no. You need to put in the time and the grind. You need to condition yourself. You need to learn how to react to unique situations, how to strategize, think for yourself and develop "the eye" (of the tiger lol).

It's a skill like any skill, and so is pickup. There's a technical aspect, and there's an experience aspect, and at the end of the day you need both in order to kick some ass out there.

2 cents for ya

[Guest]

This is what I am trying to do. I have become too dependent on PUA guys when I go out. I went out with some of my own friends, and I didn't do anything. Just/us was telling me I should go out solo, and that is what I will be doing some days next week (spring break)

[Guest]

I think there is a balance to this. If I'm out with 1 or 2 other guys, it works great. More than that, it just gets bogged down, and no one sarges.

I loved learning the general structure of the game, because it gives you a framework, or a "grid" to work with.
If you learn the overall concepts, it's much easier to deal with the specifics. Like in math, the only way I got through it was to learn the theory, and study it well. That way, I could plug whatever numbers into the equation, and figure out the answer.

[Guest]

im partial to solo. i have limited friends who i really enjoy sarging with but alot more buds who like to go out. i kick it w/ the group and then do my own thing depending on the scene etc. sometimes i bounce and part ways, sometimes i do the introduce w/ friends though one of my best bros, cool albiet is a borderline creeper. i do not introduce....... summarize, single game works great for me and its easier for me to open larger sets and take prime pickings.

[Guest]

another good post BR

I agree with most of these points, except I would slightly differ on #2. I would say work up to the point you can confidently and indifferently say you are there alone... "no one wanted to head out tonight, and I wanted to get out of the house." This might not come right away, so try approach BR mentioned, but look to move away from that. I've done quite a bit of solo sarging and i routinely use that. It's never blown me out, and more often than not,(actually almost every time) the girl(s) latch onto it, and give me some kind of compliment about it.

I look back and my most adventurous nights have been solo, because to BRs #1 point. It forces you to interact with people who you never would have talked to.

Also, I've found that when solo, I'll get opened up more. Same for guys opening up a lone wolf vs a group, if a girl is attracted to you at the outset, it's much easier for her to open you as well if you aren't in a group of guys.

[Guest]

Great advice from the bull. Lately all the community guys want to go out in a giant group. While this is always fun it only retards your game. If you want to get good you must head out alone or with one wing.

[Guest]

PlayerCool and Lion sure do make a cute couple.

Back on point...

Even when we go out as a big group, it isn't hard to break away from the group. That's what I do. Just walk away. The kicker is...the new guys seem to stick to the older guys and never venture off (unless I push 4 of you in to a 5 set of 6.5-8's just sitting there BEGGING to be talked to : P )

[Guest]

Phenomenal thread, and I'd like to add to it...sorry to resurrect a necro-thread.

For those who don't know, I live in a suitcase and have for the last 3-years. I'm not talking about staying in a hotel for a few days here and there, I go to great and terrible cities and stay there for months at a time, good or bad, its what you make of it.

I was miserable until I decided to not cry like a bitch in my hotel room every night. I learned that you first have to be able to go out and make friends with total strangers, totally lost, knowing no one nor what you're about to get yourself into. I won't kid that even after a year of this shit, going into bars is sometimes terrifying and sometimes I cave and can't open anything. However, most of the time I can do it. I differ from most guys here because I'm not just after a pretty face, I'm after girls I can respect. If there tards, then I'll move on. I leave more sets than I close by a country mile.

It was really sad to leave Austin last week. I made a ton of great friends, laid more pipe in the last month than I have in my life combined, and met a few really cool girls who I'll never forget.

There are no lies in solo-sarging...if you can go out solo and go home with a smile on your face, then you're doing something right.

[Guest]

Great Thread and advice, i missed it, especially relevant to newbie like me. I, am pretty new to Dallas too, so I have had to solo sarge at times, but it has been uncomfortable at times. I know its my social conditioning, but it is hard. I just feel so aware that I am alone, especially so if i havent had few drinks to be buzzed.

And BR, very eloquent and interesting writing yet again. Man, some of you guys can really write well.. I hope all these posts get saved somewhere as time goes, if not anywhere atleast in a word document. There would make great subsections and chapters of your book in the future. :) Who knows what time will tell.