Why Do You Do It...

[Guest]

++++I still find it in your best interest to keep your mouth shut++++

I agree with that. You better have damn strong frame if you're gonna tell her you spent time trying to learn a skill to "pick her up."

Women believe in shit like chemistry and all that Disneyland bullshit. If you point out to them that you are using skills you've learned to be a better man around her, to ultimately seduce her, she's gonna be turned off in all likelihood. She wants to believe that you were the prince charming who just came along, swept her off her feet and you two "just clicked". She doesn't want to feel like she was just another woman who fell for your "silly lines and tactics".

They don't want to believe that picking up women is a skill. They want to believe that you saw her, approached and "magic" just happened.

Most women have at least heard of this thing we refer to as PUA and I can tell you, it doesn't carry a good image with women. Not even a little bit.

No way in hell would I ever mention anything about PUA to a woman. Ever! Besides, I hate that term anyway. It sounds creepy.

[Guest]

i never mention it. the closest i come is to telling of my social psyche interests which are much broader than game. i wasnt a fan of the vh1 show either as it created much more awareness of the community. im not one cliche openers so fortunately it didnt cut down on my game but i have been asked in the scene if i am a pua, do to efficient game. i sloughed it off with the question "do you think those guys / that stuff really works?" successfully removing the focus of the the accusation. girls like romance and alpha hits that well above, but you guys are also my secret. there are only a few guy friends ive told about the community as well, my fellow sarging crew but i fear it could be ammo used against me sometime, like micheal phelps pot smoking.

[Guest]

Yep here i am. Don't worry about pissing me off.

Everyone's got his own way to bake a pie. If the point is to get girls and friends to like you and not offend anyone or be laughed at, hell you're probably right. It's not about that to me, best answer to your question is it's about looking myself in the mirror.

I want people to like me too, but for who I am, not some bullshit image. I try to be someone who doesn't apologize for shit, and doesn't go out of his way to try to impress people. I'll look anybody in the eye and tell them who i am and what i'm about, and if they have an issue they can go fuck themselves.

[Guest]

i dont think that this site defines me. if pua is you than that is great. i cook sometimes but that doesnt qualify me as a chef. i hook up with girls, sometimes for a night and with others its ongoing, but look at most threads on this site they are about more that sausage tossing. they are about research, tested material, venue reviews, social experimentation and news. of course as stated earlier in this thread sharing, framed properly has been sucessfull. i just dont like identifying with the cliche of pua that i (probebly we) had at some point of simply being fradulant for a good romp. while that is not true i percieve that it would be easier for most to jump to the aforementioned conclusion.
it sounds like your inner game is tight and i respect that.
my life is an open book, yet i dont like to mention my dwi while sitting at a bar. its just not mojo

[Guest]

It's not about what defines you. I had a salad for lunch because i'm on a diet. That doesn't define me, but i'm not going to mislead people into thinking i'm a steak and potatos man because it's got a manlier and tougher rep.

Preconceptions be damned.

I do the things I do for a reason, and I expect people to accept that. If they don't, that's their problem not mine.

I hear what you're saying, but I think you should consider for your own sakes that maybe you're being a pussy and caring too much about what people think about you. Just own up man.

[Guest]

The girls that can handle it are keepers because they're secure in themselves and understand that it's what you do that matters, not what you've done.

The girls that fly off the handle and get pissed are fundamentally insecure about themselves and, as such, will be a royal pain in the ass.

There are a handful of quality control tests, this is just one. Just like they shit test us, we can shit test them. If she can't handle it? If she can't deal with the idea that I've bedded a lot of women before you and may, or may not, have used the same techniques to build attraction with you? Oh well, get over yourself.

This idea that what you've done in the past actually really matters is absurd. Who the fuck cares? It's not important. What matters is who you are NOW. And, right NOW I'm here with YOU...which ironically if I had not made this journey the odds are we wouldn't even know each other. It's hard to hold that against someone...I hate that you used to be/are in the Community, which molded you into the person you are today, but I want you. That's just poor logic.

These women that look down on the Community and get in an uproar because you may have been a part of the Community are the very tyrants that we're rallying against. They're Cosmo reading, Sex in the City obsessed, name brand concerned, image conscious, dreaming of 'the perfect life,' emotionally charged, materialistic, judgmental, princesses. What the hell do you want with them anyway? Those chicks aren't worthy of you.

So, you put it out there. If they don't like it, they walk. Big deal, she just did you a favor.

[Guest]

amen brotha bull run. testify! you speak the truth!

[Guest]

while i suppose you could pull this off as shit test, i guess it depends on what you are qualifying the girls for. ltr or short term? my perception of the pua community is that oneitis is frowned upon as it contradicts the "pick-up" of the title. i understand that one cannot plan everything and many are in the community are in ltrs now.....but is this what we should be qualifying girls for? i would have no problem telling a girl right off the bat that i am a pua if it was my profession, but it is not so i opt not to.

[Guest]

I'm thinking more along the lines of a qualifier for an LTR. But, just because you're in an LTR doesn't mean that the principles of PU are totally lost you. As a matter of fact, when you're in an LTR you need them more than ever. I think this is one of the reasons that many remain a part of the Community even though they're in an LTR.

In the short term, you keep it to yourself. This is something that should be told in time, not immediately. There are a lot of things in your past that you keep to yourself until the time is right. This is no different. But, if it's someone you're considering being serious with, then I think you have to tell her.

I've got a bunch of qualifiers that a woman needs to 'pass' in order for her to stick around. We all do. This is one. If she can't handle it, then she's not someone I want to be around.

[Guest]

congrats. we have successfully reached a compromise we can both agree on. in a quality relationship communication is key thus openess is required. good stuff.