Fluff Talk

[Guest]

So last night I made some approaches and seemed to be doing alright, but I kept stalling on fluff talk.

I was making a conscious effort to avoid asking direct boring typical AFC questions and use more of a Juggler open ended statements approach. I kept running out of open ended statement ideas and reverting. Can you guys give me some good examples of how you perpetuate fluff talk either through open ended statements or some other means without coming across like an interrogation? Also some good examples of open ended statements would be appreciated. So I can add to my repertoire and start learning to form them on the fly.

Booyah and thanks for the advice...

[Guest]

PM JJE, he has videos of Finesse's conversation class. it has TONS of useful information on it...

[Guest]

I just talk about whatever comes to mind and I don't worry if it sounds afc or whatever. I stay away from stuff like how the weather is and shit. But every conversation has other conversation topics built in already. For example, say you are talking about how she is new in town and she is looking for the good bars in the area. From just that topic you can jump to convos about alcohol (her favorite type, what she thinks of the prices, how much does she like to drink), about bars, about the area, about traveling, about new adventures in a new city and meeting a super exciting guy by accident. I think the best thing to keep it mind is lower your standards (in conversation). You think hey she is attractive, I better not talk about this, or this is too childish, or she wouldn't be interested in this. I would just say dont talk about politics, religion, conspiracy theories, or stuff like roofies or rape. Remember the phrase "girls just want to have fun" Very true. You are [Insert your age here], you have that many years of things to talk about. There is no reason to run out of things to talk about. Also, I would say talk to and hang around Professor for a bit, he can talk more than my mom and it will probably rub off onto you, I know thats what helped me out when my sticking point was stalling out in convos.

[Guest]

I haven't read any of Juggler's stuff...but here's my definition of 'open-ended questions'.

The general guideline (note: guideline...not rule...as with most things you hear here) to classifying an open-ended question is whether it can be answered with a "yes" or "no".

If the answer can be a simple yes/no, then you aren't passing the ball off to her court...and it's up to you to continue running the game until she starts playing by some other means. A non-yes/no question can help to get her involved in the convo leaving you slightly less work in getting her pre-interested.

So try using the who?/what?/where?/when?/why?/how?s more and get rid of the would?/is?/if-then?s.

The next time you're out, take a second to think about your opener right before you say it....could it be answered with a yes/no?
If it can, then come up with another one. If you have a hard time, you might try thinking of a few before you go out to have ready until you get the hang of just coming up with them on they fly.

After doing this for a while, it should become engrained and you shouldn't need to take that second to test your opener....but it will help to weed out alot of the lousy openers.

Also, once you move along a little further and get the hang of pickup convos, you might find that using open-ended questions no longer pose a problem for you (i.e. you can keep the convo going anyway), and so a yes/no question may no longer be something you have to avoid.

[Guest]

Also, statement-openers (usually slight negs in my experience) make for great convo pieces also and pretty much serve the same purpose as an open-ended question (in that they leave the next step for her to take....AKA a hoop).

(to a girl with a shiny shirt)
"Hey look, a disco-ball!"
(credit to whoever I stole that from...I've always loved that one)

"Whoa my god....you ARE one of those!..."

etc

[Guest]

That's all good stuff everybody posted, but don't be afraid to share some info about yourself. People generally feel more comfortable talking to you after you open up first.

[Guest]

sounds to me like you were in your own head, and it affected your conversational flow. don't worry so much about doing what this person says or that person does....calm down, focus on the interaction, not what you might say 2 min from now.

[Guest]

Keep an eye on what's happening around you and comment on that.

People watch. Women love to people watch.

Also, and this is the best tactic in my opinion, is to make up some outrageous story or adventure that you're going to take her on. For instance, ask her if she wants to runaway with you to travel the country working as a carnie. Then, just make shit up. It doesn't have to be real in order to talk about it.

[Guest]

[quote1233608141=Bull Run]
People watch. Women love to people watch.
[/quote1233608141]
Women absolutely love to people watch. In fact I regularly am able to "sympathize" with them that "people watching" is fun and one benefit to go out to the seedy nasty dirty bars. LOL.

If you bring this up you are usually entered into a different category. Like say you met a girl and just got chatting and you indulge in a little people watching with her. This is powerful on many levels. They are also extermely frank and catty, which is amusing.