A few of you know I'm pretty old school around here, when I was admin on the DPUA board, I got a lot of guys wanting to leech a skillset off of me. It made me pretty jaded about the community. They wanted me to take them under my wing and bring bring them into the world of master pickupdom.
The problem was that I was an admin because I new the tech, new the board rules and was on it a lot. I wasn't an admin because I was an MPUA.
A lot of noobs find the board and figure they will find a guru who can vomit knowledge into their mouths like a momma bird feeding a baby bird, and they will become gods of pickup without any work.
This can happen, it costs $3500 per weekend and it's called a bootcamp. Now to the noobs who don't want to pay for a bootcamp, why would you think that someone who did would be interested in telling you for free what they just paid $3500 for? If you can find a guru who really does have the skills, what makes you think that they want to teach them to you at all? I mean they already aren't running paid bootcamps for a reason.
Don't come here thinking there is a magic blue pill, that is bullshit. Getting this skill set takes equity. You need to put time and money into it. If you don't want to spend the big money, it takes more time. The more messed up you are, the longer it takes.
Oh and to the new guys who post like an expert, and to the keyboard jockeys, the guys with the skills know when you post bullshit questions and answers and it usually annoys them.
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Noobs...
by Guest » Mon Jan 26, 2009 7:17 pm
[quote1233015157=PicturePerfect]
Taking a break from my homework I decided to write this....
I think there is two major issues that affect this board as well as new members who come out to meet up with everyone.
Bullrun and I have discussed alot about the direction of the community, same with Vector and I. One of the questions were; Do you think the community is starting to die off?
In any case I believe it is. Though "The Game" may look like the bible it can only be #1 best seller for X about of time. This isn't to say something else may or may not come along and either bumb the sales and more readers into purchasing the book or another book, or perhaps some other means may start another spark and in PUA community.
However, I do think there is a bit of fizzle to this. The days where a metric ton of us would go out have been slowing washing away as does a sand castle at the beach. At least for now whatever the future holds I don't know. Honestly, I hope something does spark some more interest within the community. As for now its slowing down in my opinion.
The second issue in my opinion is this. I think the alot of the new guys coming into this community are scared. It is rooted deep inside there interwalls if you will. There self worth and esteem are just not up to par. It has been my experience that most of the guys new to the community have alot of cleanning up to do in this isle of the brain. Without self worth or esteem most people really don't want to go out or meet people.
After all take a look at the commuity and its purpose. To meet people. Correct? Why would any one want to learn that? It could be that they have not be well socialized earlier on in life and thats fine, that is after all what this community is about. Socializing each other and learning the techinques to get to a paticular goal one has set forth.
The answer and question is rather rehetorical if you ask me, but this is just my view.
What can change this and get others out and coming to meets?
I've sat for while thinking of things that would help promote new folks. One being we need another juicey book or something else that promotes pickup. In my opinion that will get more people jumping on the board.
The thing about just lounge posting yes it can help however, I believe being as encouraging to new members as possible is something that will go alot further, than just simply locking down the forum to people who come to events to get verified. I do see how it can encourage people to want to come out to events, but just based on my opinion of what I have seen on the forum. We need to encourage others to come out.
-PicturePerfect
[/quote1233015157]
PP, are you talking about the community dying as a whole or this lair?
I was never active when this site (nor dallaspua) was at its peak, but i have to admit, on a consistent basis, we can get 10-15 guys out sarging. Of all the active members on this board, i think thats pretty good. so i dont know if thats little compared to the past..i do see alot of new guys coming out lately, but i wonder how long they'll stick around...i can say for myself (and a few other noobs) that i try to sarge everyweekend with someone from the community. im guilty of not living up to my full potential as i know i can become a great pua, but there are other things in my life that i have to focus my attention on. pua is not my life, but i do make it a priority to sarge and get better...
Taking a break from my homework I decided to write this....
I think there is two major issues that affect this board as well as new members who come out to meet up with everyone.
Bullrun and I have discussed alot about the direction of the community, same with Vector and I. One of the questions were; Do you think the community is starting to die off?
In any case I believe it is. Though "The Game" may look like the bible it can only be #1 best seller for X about of time. This isn't to say something else may or may not come along and either bumb the sales and more readers into purchasing the book or another book, or perhaps some other means may start another spark and in PUA community.
However, I do think there is a bit of fizzle to this. The days where a metric ton of us would go out have been slowing washing away as does a sand castle at the beach. At least for now whatever the future holds I don't know. Honestly, I hope something does spark some more interest within the community. As for now its slowing down in my opinion.
The second issue in my opinion is this. I think the alot of the new guys coming into this community are scared. It is rooted deep inside there interwalls if you will. There self worth and esteem are just not up to par. It has been my experience that most of the guys new to the community have alot of cleanning up to do in this isle of the brain. Without self worth or esteem most people really don't want to go out or meet people.
After all take a look at the commuity and its purpose. To meet people. Correct? Why would any one want to learn that? It could be that they have not be well socialized earlier on in life and thats fine, that is after all what this community is about. Socializing each other and learning the techinques to get to a paticular goal one has set forth.
The answer and question is rather rehetorical if you ask me, but this is just my view.
What can change this and get others out and coming to meets?
I've sat for while thinking of things that would help promote new folks. One being we need another juicey book or something else that promotes pickup. In my opinion that will get more people jumping on the board.
The thing about just lounge posting yes it can help however, I believe being as encouraging to new members as possible is something that will go alot further, than just simply locking down the forum to people who come to events to get verified. I do see how it can encourage people to want to come out to events, but just based on my opinion of what I have seen on the forum. We need to encourage others to come out.
-PicturePerfect
[/quote1233015157]
PP, are you talking about the community dying as a whole or this lair?
I was never active when this site (nor dallaspua) was at its peak, but i have to admit, on a consistent basis, we can get 10-15 guys out sarging. Of all the active members on this board, i think thats pretty good. so i dont know if thats little compared to the past..i do see alot of new guys coming out lately, but i wonder how long they'll stick around...i can say for myself (and a few other noobs) that i try to sarge everyweekend with someone from the community. im guilty of not living up to my full potential as i know i can become a great pua, but there are other things in my life that i have to focus my attention on. pua is not my life, but i do make it a priority to sarge and get better...
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jan 26, 2009 8:06 pm
The community isn't going anywhere.
It did not start with Mystery...or Style. Those guys were jerking off to Victoria's Secret catalogs in their bedroom and the community was alive and well. It's been around for over a decade, and will be 10 years from now.
What we've seen is the influx of people into the community the the Game and the Vh1 show have brought.
Like anything that gains some prominence but requires a personal commitment and sweat equity, it will cause an influx of people, but very few actually stick with to see any noticeable impact in their life. (e.g., There was a huge influx of people to swimming after the olympics and Phelps...how many of those people are still actively swimming? )
I think what is frustrating for those that have personally experienced the profound effects the community can have, are seeing people come into the community that are essentially the 'noise' on the trend line for new members into the community. The people looking for the quick fix, magic pill, magic panty dropper openers...not the people that have the dedication to put in the work to actually transform themselves....we have seen that percentage of new people that really have immersed themselves and are sticking with it...prodigy, just/us, etc..but numerous more that show up and disappear never to be seen again. I know I've more or less put a filter on some screen names as far as putting a time commitment into anything they post since i haven't met them. What's frustrating is if you've actually seen the light and just have a desire to help others see the same.
But in all honesty, if it weren't for 5-15 members that actively post, this forum would be dead for all those new people that stumble across it for one reason or another. While the message may have gotten lost in this lengthy thread, I applaud BullRun for taking time to post lengthy insightful posts that attempt to help others, despite being in an LTR. So not only does he come back to just check in, he attempts to come back and contribute meaningful insight from his experiences. I know i've completely disappeared during LTRs from the community in the past, and the only reason I haven't now is because i've become actual real world friends with some from the community. I come back not because i'm looking to learn something more(if i do...great) but because i'm interested in seeing what others i actually KNOW IRL, are up too or have to say.
I actually feel more invested in the community due to the personal connections. In fact I wish i hadn't lurked so long.
It did not start with Mystery...or Style. Those guys were jerking off to Victoria's Secret catalogs in their bedroom and the community was alive and well. It's been around for over a decade, and will be 10 years from now.
What we've seen is the influx of people into the community the the Game and the Vh1 show have brought.
Like anything that gains some prominence but requires a personal commitment and sweat equity, it will cause an influx of people, but very few actually stick with to see any noticeable impact in their life. (e.g., There was a huge influx of people to swimming after the olympics and Phelps...how many of those people are still actively swimming? )
I think what is frustrating for those that have personally experienced the profound effects the community can have, are seeing people come into the community that are essentially the 'noise' on the trend line for new members into the community. The people looking for the quick fix, magic pill, magic panty dropper openers...not the people that have the dedication to put in the work to actually transform themselves....we have seen that percentage of new people that really have immersed themselves and are sticking with it...prodigy, just/us, etc..but numerous more that show up and disappear never to be seen again. I know I've more or less put a filter on some screen names as far as putting a time commitment into anything they post since i haven't met them. What's frustrating is if you've actually seen the light and just have a desire to help others see the same.
But in all honesty, if it weren't for 5-15 members that actively post, this forum would be dead for all those new people that stumble across it for one reason or another. While the message may have gotten lost in this lengthy thread, I applaud BullRun for taking time to post lengthy insightful posts that attempt to help others, despite being in an LTR. So not only does he come back to just check in, he attempts to come back and contribute meaningful insight from his experiences. I know i've completely disappeared during LTRs from the community in the past, and the only reason I haven't now is because i've become actual real world friends with some from the community. I come back not because i'm looking to learn something more(if i do...great) but because i'm interested in seeing what others i actually KNOW IRL, are up too or have to say.
I actually feel more invested in the community due to the personal connections. In fact I wish i hadn't lurked so long.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jan 26, 2009 8:30 pm
Is the community dying? Nope
Will it anytime soon? Nope
I have actually seen a pretty big influx of people joining the boards lately. For a while it was at a snails pace it seemed.
I came out for the first time and met other community guys almost one year ago(Right at this exact time about Feb 2nd). From there it seemed like I was hanging out with 4-5 community guys every weekend. This soon started blowing up into the double digits on some nights.
There are two reason it has been a little slow lately.
Holidays and beginning of year. During this time so much other stuff is going on in people's personal lives that they just can't find the time to get out.
The second reason is all the old timers seemed to be in some sort of LTR. You definitely lose at least some motivation to contribute quite as much.
I do know this weekend there was a pretty decent turnout on Friday and Saturday nights that I went out. All it takes is for someone to make some calls and set an outing up. That is why the new guys should make it a point to get out to the meetings and make some friends and wings. It is always nice when you can make some calls and have a few wings on your side for the evening.
If you build it they will come...
Will it anytime soon? Nope
I have actually seen a pretty big influx of people joining the boards lately. For a while it was at a snails pace it seemed.
I came out for the first time and met other community guys almost one year ago(Right at this exact time about Feb 2nd). From there it seemed like I was hanging out with 4-5 community guys every weekend. This soon started blowing up into the double digits on some nights.
There are two reason it has been a little slow lately.
Holidays and beginning of year. During this time so much other stuff is going on in people's personal lives that they just can't find the time to get out.
The second reason is all the old timers seemed to be in some sort of LTR. You definitely lose at least some motivation to contribute quite as much.
I do know this weekend there was a pretty decent turnout on Friday and Saturday nights that I went out. All it takes is for someone to make some calls and set an outing up. That is why the new guys should make it a point to get out to the meetings and make some friends and wings. It is always nice when you can make some calls and have a few wings on your side for the evening.
If you build it they will come...
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:37 pm
I've seen fluctuations in popularity of the community in the time I've been here...but I don't think I've seen a necessarily consistent downward trend.
I think it would be a good idea to get back in the habit of people posting up in the Events section each time we want to get a crew together to go out.
That's not to say that sometimes we might just want to go out with a small group.....but I recall the toughest thing for me before I came out for the first time was figuring out how and where to get started.
Every other week, while semi-frequent, took me a good 2 months before I actually was free to make it out to an 'official meetup'.
I think it would be a good idea to get back in the habit of people posting up in the Events section each time we want to get a crew together to go out.
That's not to say that sometimes we might just want to go out with a small group.....but I recall the toughest thing for me before I came out for the first time was figuring out how and where to get started.
Every other week, while semi-frequent, took me a good 2 months before I actually was free to make it out to an 'official meetup'.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jan 26, 2009 10:54 pm
Speaking of noobs I was wondering when the next meeting is going to be? I'm new to the forum and didn't see anything for Feb. I realize this is probably the wrong spot to be asking, but it was an active post. I would like the opportunity to meet some ppl in the community. I'm a pretty solid noob, but have been working on approaches and the likes. Would like to see some guys w/ more solid game so I have somewhere to aim and maybe occasionally sound off some sp.
- Guest
by Guest » Tue Jan 27, 2009 1:58 am
[quote1233039181=Solace]
In the last few months I have met a number of these newbies and given them a reason to stick around.
[/quote1233039181]
I gotta say, Solace seems to go out of his way to help the newer guys out. I think I can honestly say Solace has helped me out in here more than anyone else. Way more.
As far as this issue goes, ya, its annoying when people sign up and don't come out or whatever, but what can you do? It's like that for everything. If they don't want to stick with it, they will quit it all together very soon. And if we did make everything super secret or whatever and put it on the lounge, its not like this info isn't elsewhere. There is asf and many other pickup sites that one can go to to read info.
In the last few months I have met a number of these newbies and given them a reason to stick around.
[/quote1233039181]
I gotta say, Solace seems to go out of his way to help the newer guys out. I think I can honestly say Solace has helped me out in here more than anyone else. Way more.
As far as this issue goes, ya, its annoying when people sign up and don't come out or whatever, but what can you do? It's like that for everything. If they don't want to stick with it, they will quit it all together very soon. And if we did make everything super secret or whatever and put it on the lounge, its not like this info isn't elsewhere. There is asf and many other pickup sites that one can go to to read info.
- Guest
by Guest » Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:13 am
[quote1233069215=TopDog]But in all honesty, if it weren't for 5-15 members that actively post, this forum would be dead for all those new people that stumble across it for one reason or another. While the message may have gotten lost in this lengthy thread, I applaud BullRun for taking time to post lengthy insightful posts that attempt to help others, despite being in an LTR. So not only does he come back to just check in, he attempts to come back and contribute meaningful insight from his experiences. I know i've completely disappeared during LTRs from the community in the past, and the only reason I haven't now is because i've become actual real world friends with some from the community. I come back not because i'm looking to learn something more(if i do...great) but because i'm interested in seeing what others i actually KNOW IRL, are up too or have to say.
I actually feel more invested in the community due to the personal connections. In fact I wish i hadn't lurked so long.[/quote1233069215]
In all honesty, my original post was a bit harsh. I understand that and this is why this thread has been so active. Shit, playercool started a thread with essentially the same message before this one and that thread is all but dead (see 'Just Because I Can...' in the General section).
My thread had the same type of message, which is get involved, but was much more incendiary. I think the reason was the stronger language in my post versus in that in playercool's.
People don't react to warm and fuzzies.
I could talk about how important the Community has been to me. Some of the great friendships I've made. The journey I've made. And, the understanding that was reinforced by the Community that it's OK. It's OK to be who I am. It's OK to want more. The ideology of 'OK' is powerful. It allows you to walk through life without apology for who you are.
Anyway, I understood that some would read this and take exception. They would perceive it as a holier than thou, elitist post from an 'old timer.' I think that's a valid way to see the world. But, it's wrong. The guys on here that know me understand this.
If you're just reading these posts and never putting faces to the names, then you're missing out on a whole lot more than you'll ever fully understand.
Think of it this way. Remember your childhood friends? The people you surrounded yourself with while you were growing up. The connections you make with those people are so strong because you're all walking down the same path, embarking on the same journey. The friendships you make here as you develop into a PUA are similar to those that you had from your youth. Developing Inner Game, bedding women, improving your social savvy is just half of the value that our Community can offer. The other half are the friendships we forge along the way.
By not coming out and making an effort to network with other like-minded individuals, you're leaving a lot of value on the table.
Gentlemen, thank you for the comments. Thank you for the support and for the dissent. The thread got heated, which was disappointing because the original message was lost. But, I think this discussion was something that needed to be had and will more than likely be had again.
See you in the scene.
I actually feel more invested in the community due to the personal connections. In fact I wish i hadn't lurked so long.[/quote1233069215]
In all honesty, my original post was a bit harsh. I understand that and this is why this thread has been so active. Shit, playercool started a thread with essentially the same message before this one and that thread is all but dead (see 'Just Because I Can...' in the General section).
My thread had the same type of message, which is get involved, but was much more incendiary. I think the reason was the stronger language in my post versus in that in playercool's.
People don't react to warm and fuzzies.
I could talk about how important the Community has been to me. Some of the great friendships I've made. The journey I've made. And, the understanding that was reinforced by the Community that it's OK. It's OK to be who I am. It's OK to want more. The ideology of 'OK' is powerful. It allows you to walk through life without apology for who you are.
Anyway, I understood that some would read this and take exception. They would perceive it as a holier than thou, elitist post from an 'old timer.' I think that's a valid way to see the world. But, it's wrong. The guys on here that know me understand this.
If you're just reading these posts and never putting faces to the names, then you're missing out on a whole lot more than you'll ever fully understand.
Think of it this way. Remember your childhood friends? The people you surrounded yourself with while you were growing up. The connections you make with those people are so strong because you're all walking down the same path, embarking on the same journey. The friendships you make here as you develop into a PUA are similar to those that you had from your youth. Developing Inner Game, bedding women, improving your social savvy is just half of the value that our Community can offer. The other half are the friendships we forge along the way.
By not coming out and making an effort to network with other like-minded individuals, you're leaving a lot of value on the table.
Gentlemen, thank you for the comments. Thank you for the support and for the dissent. The thread got heated, which was disappointing because the original message was lost. But, I think this discussion was something that needed to be had and will more than likely be had again.
See you in the scene.
- Guest
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