This one is going to be weird

[Guest]

[quote1230335052=Muk]
and also. My time *is* valuable there were several things going on that required my attention. I'm of the belief that the value of your time and the value of your work is a direct reflection of the value of yourself. to say that my time isn't worth anything is like saying that I'm worthless. This isn't true, however, I don't feel the need to elaborate on what it was that I needed to do.
[/quote1230335052]

I like this mentality. This is good. Everyone's time is valuable.

As far as who is or isn't a prick, for taking or offering, or not offering, or not taking a reward it's a matter of social rules.

It is a social faux paux not to offer someone a "reward" for returning ANY item of yours.
The person in which the reward was offered to is then expected to reject the reward.
The person in which the item belong is then expected to "insist" on giving it still.
The person in which the reward was offered again to reject.

Make out ensues.

This is what game is about. Figuring out social etiquette i mean. As far as a game standpoint social etiquette is crucial.

So... lets all drop this whole "should he expect a reward, should she offer." bull crap because its all quite pointless.

She offered a reward, he accepted. There is nothing inherently wrong with accepting a reward. There is something weird with accepting a reward and then still trying to game her. You've already showed her your lack of social understanding by accepting the reward the first time she said she would give you one. There is something wrong with asking before she offers.

You have to look at the overall picture of things. refer to Vector's post Reductionism vs. wholistic ( [link=http://www.dallaslair.org/p/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?27013]http://www.dallaslair.org/p/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?27013[/link]

Looking at the whole picture should give you a clear idea of what you need to do in order to achieve whatever goal it is you're going for.

If you want to keep talking to her, then accepting a reward (other than dinner) is a no go.

I have to say, I didn't expect this reaction. However Muk when you said "I already told her that I want a reward for it. " in your first post, you did set a frame that you initiated the reward talk which is a social violation, hence the apprehensions of the guys on the board and the negative attitude in general towards you and how you handled this situation. You didn't help the situation any when you said "Unless I know you, I don't do anything for free." Kind of perpetuated the original thought of you being a tool. The congruence wasn't there so that's how you came across in this instance. Pay attention to the frames you set.

This is where framing should be used in conversations. Notice that ONE SENTENCE threw off this entire conversation. One sentence held the frame for whether this conversation would be positive or negative.

[i]I could be wrong on this on, but the fact that you actively participate in a forum devoted to picking up chicks lends me to think that your time is worth about as much as the toilet paper I'm getting ready to blow my nose on.[/i] - Bull Run

I happen to think my time is extremely valuable and no offense BR but if this is how you feel, then why are you here, almost 900 posts? Clearly you meant something other than how this came across.

This is why texting is often times hard.

Did Muk exhibit poor judgment, in the reward situation? Not at all. She offered, he can accept or not. If he did it with every intention of a reward, then I would say his mind wasn't right. He didn't help by continually saying throughout this thread that "It would be rude otherwise", and "I asked for it" and such. Who knows, maybe he does mean it. but saying that something is rude is ironically rude itself.

Did Muk set up this conversation to be full of animosity? Yes. but I believe he did so unintentionally.

Would she have been a prick if she had not offered a reward? Ungrateful and spoiled maybe, so yes to me that makes her a prick.

You at least offer a little something, just say "I don't have much but..."

It's how I feel.

[Guest]

I can't believe the post has gone on this long without someone inquiring on the Bra n Panties pics!!!!
Has everyone gone too philosophical! LOL
She offered reward-you accepted it. Big Deal.
Yeah Smirks gets the credit for best first page response!
Mr. Finesse for second page and pointing out the social foibles we all hope to improve upon.